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Does anyone know what illness this could be?
I'm not sure if anyone could point me in the right direction, but my ex BF has been on a wide range of anti-depressants and has problems sleeping. Currently he's not taking any medication apart from valium for when he cant sleep.
I will try and explain his behaviour: If you were to meet him in a social setting, he seems extremely normal and outgoing like anyone else. He has motivation to go out and do things like everyone else. However when it comes to relationships he goes cold. He says he feels numb, and that he cant be affectionate cos he doesnt feel anything. He says its nothing to do with me, but its the way he is.
I just dont understand what his problem might be, if he even has a problem, he might just be using it as an excuse... anyone have any ideas?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Dear What Illness is This,
Intimacy for many people is a complicated matter. Due to woundings from the past, many people are unable to live consciously in the present, which is absolutely necessary for true intimacy. There are a multitude of reasons why folks can't do this, and it would probably do you some good to explore the subject matter a little.
I can tell you what I think, but the bottom line is that you will follow your heart on the matter. Before you do that, I'd like to suggest you do some reading on relationships, which should prove helpful. There are many good books out there at your local library or Amazon.com. (Do a search on "reationships" or "intimacy") Keep in mind that relationships are often our greatest teachers. A healthy relationship can help heal old wounds, but it takes honesty, commitment and a willingness to learn from each other. Only you know for sure if either of you are willing to accept the challenge at this stage of your relationship.
I wish you well,
Earth Mother
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i think he is using thatas an excuse.give him an altimatum.he either feels or he doesnt.
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Unease in relationships, especially established ones, can be a sign of depression and you said that your boyfriend has been taking medicine for this in the past. However if he seems fine in a social setting then it may not be a problem with depression. He say's it's nothing to do with you, and if he means it then maybe there's another area of his personal life which is distracting him? Has he got problems in other areas which are... not eating away at him (that sounds exaggerated) but diverting his attention away from you? Sorry to answer a question with a question, but when you have something big on your mind it can be hard to pay attention to even the most important things.
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