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Can't Get Over My Ex
I'm a 25yr old gay guy, and my boyfriend just dumped me last week and i'm finding it very difficult to adjust back to life alone.
I was only with him for two months but we literally would be spending all our spare time together (when we werent at work) and all weekend, calling and texting each other all the time. I actually think I am in love with him, even though I keep telling myself thats not possible after such a short time, but I think it could be so.
Anyway we were both very much into each other and suddenly, for no reason (that i know of), he turned "cold" towards me... like if I went up to give him a hug, he wouldnt respond, and also in bed he wasnt as responsive as usual.
I confronted him about this and he says he doesnt know why this happens. He has a history of psychological problems, even he doesnt know what they are, but he has been on a number of different anti-depressant medications this year (though not now) and is currently taking vallium cos he can't sleep at night.
He says he cant connect with anyone, and its nothing to do with me. He said he went to the psychiatrist a week ago and he told him that he needs a break and he shouldnt be in a relationship as he has problems to sort out and its not fair on me or him. So for this reason he told me that he can't see me anymore (this was 4 days ago)
I am heartbroken and i really want to be with him and i find his excuse a bit "manufactured"... i think there is something he is hiding from me. I really want to know the real reason why he dumped me. I also have a suspicion he is back with his ex as my friend saw them together in town last night and they always were texting each other when we were together (much to my annoyance).
He called me last night to say hi, but it made things a lot harder as i miss being with him. I dont know what to do. Please help!
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you know...if you think his excuse is manufactured ( which i think so too!) then hes not worht your time if he cant even be honest with you. Sounds like you a very nice guy and you deserve to be treated like an adult and not like a little kid. Ask him straight out if hes hiding anything about his ex or if he has diff reasons hes broke it off with you and if he does not give you a satisying answer then thats it! As hard as it may be dont go back to him or so much as talk to him because its not fair to you because your the one who is suffering....try going out n finding some other men you may like! i hope i helped
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Y'know I think I agree with you that his excuse seems 'manufactured.' I think that it's possible that he likes you too and suddenly got cold feet. His excuse seems to exonnerate him totally and also hint that breaking up is for 'your own good' something which whiffs of BS. He may not be back with his ex but it may be that whatever psychological hang-up he has with relationships is holding him back.
As for advice, I hate to say it man but sometimes you cant wait around for people. This guy seems to be on to a good thing and has thrown it away! If you were as close as you say, then he dumped you, calling 'just to say hi' seems a little insensitive- he must know how broken up you are.
I say- fill this guy in on how you feel, and say that you'll have him despite his problems. if his says no, then you have to distance yourself. I know it sucks, but you cant keep torturing yourself over something which might no work out. By all means hope for the best, but plan for the worst. Hope it works out buddy.
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