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Question Posted Friday August 12 2005, 12:52 am

My new question would be, that you say "Just be a friend." How can I be a friend, when I don't know how to approach him. Even online, I dont know what to say to start a conversation. Im afraid that no matter what I say, he'll never let me help him or even just be there. Plus I can't be there to listen, when he wont let me in to talk. Do you understand what im saying?

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ByReasonofUse answered Friday August 12 2005, 8:44 am:
I do understand your what you're saying, but let me ask you a question. When you're just "hanging" with your other friends, are you always looking to analyze what they may be thinking/feeling, or do you just talk about whatever? You know, what movies you've seen lately, the newest "couples" at your school, why you're grounded for the next two weeks, sports (if you're into them), etc. Don't force him into a situation where everything is serious business. Relax and enjoy the company. He will open up when he is ready. Friendship takes time. Don't act as if he has to know that you're concerned about him. Just hang. Here's another idea: you could pray with and for him. Pray for him according to your concerns and pray with him about the tests coming up or about safety for the ball game. Just relax and let him have fun around you. Trust me, I've dealt with a cousin with the same problem. I talked with him for years about accepting Christ as Savior and about opening up to me. Then one day it dawned on me. Just be his cousin. So for about a year, I just called him once a week to talk about his football and baseball games and to ask him how the rest of the family was doing. My freshman year of college, he called me right before supper and started asking some serious questions. I was able to lead him to Christ that night. And it was very special because he was the first person I ever led to Christ. Just give it time and spend a lot of time on your knees for him.

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