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Pregnancy At A Young Age & Who To Tell?
My 16 year old feamle best friend is, and has been for 3 years, dating my 17 year old male cousin. My cousin just recently moved in with her because his family is definitely falling apart. I am okay with that because we still all spend time away and toghether, But my problem is that they have been having sex for over a year now. I know they are too young for it and so do they. Now my best friend is in a hole; she hasn't had her monthly since May! She wants to find out for sureif she is pregnant before she talks with her parents. Should we keep it a secret and buy a test or should I convince her to tell her parents? Also; I know she is not ready for it... should she out it up for adoption or have an abortion, or keep it if she is!?
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GodMother of My Friends Baby At 17
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
you can only keep it a secret until she finds out that she is pregnant, if she is. then she'll probably have to tell her parents.
alright well a 16 year old definetly isn't ready to raise a child by herself, unless her parent(s) are willing to help raise it, but thats obviously between her and her parents. about the whole adoption/abortion thing, i would definetly go with adoption. there are alot of couples out there that are unable, but ready to have a baby and would love to adopt one. as for abortion, its a proven fact that it effects the girls/women who have abortions for the rest of their lives. its a terrible thing to do to the living baby inside of you and to yourself, in which you can damage your uterus and possibly never be able to have children again. if you want to see how depressing abortions really are, youtube "abortions".
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I would suggest that you check first by using a HPT (Home Pregnancy Test), but if things are as you said, I would say that there is a 80% chance that she's pregnant already. (Yes, 80%, because there are a few other factors that may cause her "monthly annoyance" (or periods [PMS]) to not show up.)
And either way, if she is pregnant, she WILL have to consult her parents sooner or later. There's no way to get out of this without doing so. I suggest that when she reveals that to her parents, she has a third adult (maybe his parent, your parent, or someone who can be trusted) standing next to her to help. This is necessary because her parents might "overreact" to the news (can't blame them though).
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And about the adoption or abortion part, even though A LOT of people on here would disagree with me, I would still suggest an abortion.
Adoption is a choice if she is over 19 years of age, but because she is only 16 years old right now, abortion would be a better choice--for her family, for herself, and, above all, for the child, too.
Of course, the ultimate decision is up to her parents (again, her parents, not herself). What they decide will be the final decision. But under NO circumstance should she raise the child herself. No, not, and NOPE! It's either adoption or abortion. And if she wants to keep the child, her parents will have to help her raise the child. Else, things aren't going to look nice in the future. She cannot raise a child by herself yet.
(I am trying to keep my answer short so I won't go too far with the explanation as to why abortion "seems" to be a better choice and why her parents should be the ones that make the final decision, but if you want, inbox me about it. But the reasons should be obvious.)
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By the way, just out of curiosity, you sure that she's not you? (hehehe, just curious)
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