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Best Friends
I'm 26 years old and pretty lonely. I'm finding it harder as I grow older to make and keep good, healthy friends. My best friend has a problem communicating and being around when I need her. I always feel like I'm only here for her comfort and it really sucks. She's always just so flighty and in and out of my life. I guess we are friends when it suits her needs. I don't know how to go about telling her how I feel about it.
I guess the bigger problem is that I really don't have any other friends. I don't know where to start making them either. I am a queer femme and it seems my community is pretty cliquish. It sucks and I hate being lonely.
I would love it if you had any advice to offer.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I'm with you there, it's impossible to find friends after you're out of school. I moved to a new town three years ago and it's been tough, but I finally feel like there are cool people I can call up whenever. Here's a list of stuff I did:
1) Went to meetups ( [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) ) of stuff that interests me.
2) Joined a church.
3) Bowled on a summer bowling league.
4) Volunteered for a political organization during a campaign.
5) Went out with coworkers.
6) Joined a running group.
7) Did stuff by myself. Seriously, for a long time I'd go to movies, shows, clubs whatever with nobody, and I'd take a book along to keep me company if I needed it. You'd be surprised how many people sit by you and start up a conversation!
My community seems cliquish too but now I've got people I can go out with, so I'm pretty happy.
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Im sorry :( i think you should find a job or group were you could meet people. You need to be very friendly and some what outgoing. If your shy people might think that you dont want to be there friends [[if thats the type of people they are]] Maybe hang out with your friend's friends and they'll become your friends to. Then you will be included in there group :) i hope for the best x0x
Love you Lots,
x21
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I'm 30 and have problems making friends as well. Here's some suggestions on finding new friends:
If you have a job get to know your co-workers. They might not end up being your best friends, but it would give you someone to go out with after work for dinner or cocktails.
Take a class. If you have a community college or community center, take a class in something that interests you. At least you would know that the people taking class have one thing in common with you. Or do things that you like to do, even if it's by yourself. Chances are you'll meet people that have the same interests.
I've met most of my current friends on the internet and even though it may be a scary place to meet people, I wouldn't give them up for anything. We may not meet and we may not live close, but it gives me social interaction that I wouldn't otherwise get. They've become my best friends because I talk to them almost everyday.
As far as your best friend is concerned, try to find a way to tell her how you feel. I hope this isn't the case with you, but I had a friend once that I thought was my best friend, but it turns out I was only her friend when it was convenient for her or when she needed something from me. That's just not friendship and you need and deserve more.
Hope this helps somewhat and good luck to you
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Well, my advice to you would to go to some bar or club and meet some people there. This sounds weird butif you have a grocery store that you go to alot and you know some of the cashiers there, just talk to them and get to know them. Be assertive and dont be afraid to talk to people. I may only be 13 but thats exactly how i make friends. I have friends from the mall in stores that are like 30. I hope I helped and I am sorry if this advice sucks but only one person replied so I felt the need to pitch in some advice as well. -|-PRP-|-
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