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Creepy Internet Dude going out with Friend
Okay, I have this friend and she's driving me nuts. Well actually, first I should probably tell you she's an Internet friend of mine. But we're really close, we've known each other for years and we've talked on the phone and such. (And I love her like a friend I know IRL.)
Well anyway, back to the problem. She found this online guy who she's decided to start 'going out' with. She's *TOTALLY* serious about him and completely infatuated. The thing is that he's 17 and she's 14. Not only that, but he is SO creepy. He calls me a bitch a lot, even when I haven't done anything. Like once I was talking to him on YIM and I stopped for a second because something else caught my attention, and he was REALLY mad, he cussed me out and everything for 'ignoring him'.
I've tried to tell my friend that she's being stupid and everything, but she won't listen and tells me I'm the one being stupid instead. So basically she's chosen him, some creepy-ass guy she met over her friend who she's known a lot longer.
What do I do? They're even talking about meeting in real life! I'm scared for her!! EVERYTHING could go wrong... I mean, I've heard the stories of girls getting like raped and murdered by guys they meet online. Scares the crap out of me and I don't want that to happen to her at all. But no matter what I tell her she just yells at me!
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I totally understand where you are coming from. There is a possiblity that this is not a 17 year old, and an even greater chance he wants to take advantage of your friend no matter his age. Of course she won't listen to you if she is infatuated with him.
Sounds like you are in between a rock and a hard place.
Even if she is mad at you for potenitally saving her life, could you live with yourself if you did nothing and something bad happened? I guess what I would do is try to be nice about "him" no matter what he does or says to you, so she continues to share information and doesn't cut you off.
You may have to go to her parents about this...of course she will hate you, but if they don't care or don't do anything, at least it will take some of the guilt off of you if something bad does happen.
Other than that, I don't see where you are going to change or mind, or convince her not to meet him.
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first, you need to make sure that the reason you don't want her to continue her relationship with this guy is a good one. if you have reason to suspect (more than a gut feeling) that he could hurt her, then you definitely need to let her know. If you are afraid for her safety, make sure you are on the phone with her when she meets him, or something to that effect.
If, however, this guy just doesn't seem right for her, then she has to realize it herself and you need to be there to support her decisions. fighting this will only cause a rift between you and your friend. Nothing says you have to like this guy, but you don't need to voice your complaints to her (as difficult as that is.)
..in the long run, she will appreciate you for sticking by her through it all. (even if you have to fake it a bit)
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I have a friend who met this guy over the internet...at first he wasn't too nice but she was crazy about him and they talked on the phone a lot. She couldn't stop talking about him and I've never seen her happier (I've known her since I was 4). She wanted to go meet this guy (he lives a few hours away) so my friend and I decided to go with her to make sure that nothing happened. We care about her and didn't want her to be in serious trouble so we went to check him out and once he met some of her friends and everything he really turned around and we all really like him now. Maybe you should suggest that she get some of her friends to go with her and that they meet in a public place. It's safe and she'll get to see him and still have her friends there for support in case he turns out to be a complete ass.
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