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Mother?
Ok, I never knew my parents I guess my mom was a druggie and my dad was a pimp so they didn't really want a kid around. Well because of that I've been in "the system" for my whole life. I've been in and out of foster families and only 2 of them have ever considered adoption. Well I've been staying with this family for 2 years now. It's really great I absolutely love it they're so nice and they really make me feel like I'm their child. Well my mom (foster mother) was considering adopting me, she sent away for the papers and she was really thinking about doing it. But then my mother (birth mother) showed up. She said that she's cleaned up and that she wants to be able to raise and spend time with her daughter. I've never met my mother before and I don't know if I should go with her. I mean I have a really good thing going now these are the nicest people I've ever met and they want to adopt me. I'm afraid that if I go and get to know my mother and it doesn't work out I will blow my chances with this family. I really want to be a part of this family. I love these people but I've always wanted to meet and spend time with my real mother. I have so many questions that I know only she can answer. I talked to my foster mom and she said that I could talk to her and that I can get to know her and still be a part of this family but my mother said that she's leaving to another state so I have to make a choice. I don't know what to do. Please help me what should I do?
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Now this is only my opinion. This is really serious and something you'll have to work out for yourself.
I would stay where you are. You don't say how old you are but I'm guessing you aren't in grade school. That means you've bouncing through a LONG time. You have now found a good life with people who care about you. Something I would guess you've been searching for a long time. personally I wouldn't take a chance on promises.
Your birth mother may be fine now. But honestly she kind of blew it a long time ago. She had problems and if it was drugs then those drugs were more important to her for a long time than you were. She now wants a relationship with you. I think it would be fantastic for you to get to know her. I also think that if you were my child I wouldn't be moving away from an opportunity to know you. That choice is entirely hers to make. You have made another life and do not have to accommodate her. If she wants to move then write her letters. Do not be made to feel guilty about her choices. Be selfish. She really has no business trying to make you choose. She has a lot to learn yet about relationships I think.
I think you should have contact with your mom, even if it is only letter writing. You stay put in a stable family who loves you. You deserve the family you have now and they sound like very wonderful people. I wish you luck with your decision. :)
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I think you should tell your mother how much you really love your foster family, but want to meet her too. Ask her if she'd be willing to find a house close in the area, so you can still live with your current foster family and maybe visit your mother on the weekends. Explain to her that you haven't known her your entire life - and although you are connected by blood, you don't really have any emotional relationship, and you need time to develop one with her. Explain to her how much you really love the family that you're with now, and you don't want to ruin things with them OR your mother. If she really has cleaned up, she will think about it and understand that that WOULD be the thing to do, and you're not being mean or anything, but just going by what you know. Good luck! Hope I helped! ♥
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I wouldn't go with your birth mom because she abandoned you once, who says she isn't going to do it again. And how do you know its your real birth mom anyway, she may have papers but they might as well be fake. I personally wouldn't go with someone that I haven't learned to love. Well, I hope I helped!
~Passionate
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i suggest that you go with your foster mother because you dont know about your real dad and he could abuse you also he could put pressure on your real mother and she could become a drugie again.
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