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My cousin
16/f/California. I hang out a lot with my 15 year old female cousin. Me and her always have a good time. Its not like I want to stop hanging out with her. She's part of the "punk" crowd (but she's only in it because its the trend, and I KNOW thats why, because I know her well, and I know thats not the "real her"...but thats beside the point). And I'll admit, I do say "like" and "oh my gosh" a lot. Everytime we're at the mall or somewhere and we walk past girls that say something like "LIKE...OH MY GOD" she ALWAYS has to say something like "wow...did you just hear those girls? I can't stand those types of girls". And she'll say it loud enough to where they can hear. And I always act like I can't hear her, or I just start to say something else, because 1.) I don't judge people because of the way they talk and 2.) That seriously doesn't even bother me. But if she sees a punk guy or girl walking, she'll stare, admire, walk a little slower to where they can see her, and she'll try to tease her hair more (she has big hair) so she'll look a little more like them. But just because she's dressed like them and they're dressed like her doesn't mean shit. Theres more to that and she judges people SO quickly. And tonight we were at dinner with my aunt and she was explaining how she can't stand girls that talk like that and I quickly jumped in and said this:
Me-"you know what I've noticed about you? You judge people so quickly"
Her-"no I don't"
Me-"yes you do, everytime we walk past girls that say something like that, youALWAYS have to make a comment, and its stupid, you don't even know them"
Her-"I'm just saying I don't like girls like that, I'll talk to them and say hi and stuff, but I can't hang out with them"
Me-"Well, why do you have to say it all the time, you don't have to like them, just don't think like that so fast.... you know why I think you do it? I think you do it just to bring them down and push yourself up and thats stupid."
Her-"[[[[same thing as above.]]]"
What should I tell her? Because after, I just ignored what she said after that. But I'm really not done with this conversation. I hate when people make quick judgements like that, especially when you say it loud enough so that person can hear. That only makes enemies. And whats the point of talking about them anyways? Its not going to make anything change nor is it going to make them go away. What should i tell her. I don't want to just stop hanging out with her, because aside from that we have no problems. I just want her to be a little more opened minded...not just about people, but about everything and also to start thinking for herself. What should I do?
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WOW! This girl seems like a total poser! I hate people who judge other people so quick without even knowing them at all! Tell her exaclly what you just said here! She seriously needs to stop tho! Some day she might say it to a wrong person and get her ass wooped.. no offence. She will eventually get the point. Tell her if shes gonna talk about people like that then she shouldnt stand by you or something. x0`
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I must say, you're one of the smartest people on this site as far as the whole 'poser/label' thing goes. Im constantly complaining about those mindless drones overpaying for clothes that are crap, but worth more because of the name BAM on them.
You should not be her friend. As i cant stand those people and i rule you.
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this girl is a total poser, you should leave her out of touch for a couple weeks and don't explain why. this may teach her a lesson. but then again, she's a poser.
-hitler
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You have a right to think what you're thinking. Oh, do I know what you're talkin about. I can't count the issues I've come across regarding such things. Alright, first of all, your cousin is pathetic [until you help her straighten her crap out]. I know a lot of people think like her, but it had to be said. Next thing, tell her that being a 'punk', [sorry, I dont believe in labels - they are for soup cans not people], is in your heart, not your hair and clothes and the music you listen to! ITS IN YOUR PERSONALITY! Then proceed to tell her that she is like...a movie character as in, being FAKE. People automatically draw characteristics to labels. They think 'prep' - airhead. 'Punk' - mean. Uh, sorry but no. Tell her that its okay, none of her scene points will be taken away for not being rude and that socialising with one group of people because of what they look like is ignorant. I've met 'punks' and 'goths' who are so friendly they blew me away. How you dress is apart of your personality and the way you express yourself. Tell her its lame and that if she doesn't stop it'll only make her look lamer. Tell her life isn't about trying to gain scene points, and that it'll do her better to make allies than enemies. No one's forcing herself to be friends with those types of girls but that doesn't give her the right to insult them. This is a serious issue and it pisses me off that people can't see past this labelling shit and act like themselves. If people are just going to dress and act like they do because its cool, when are they going to find the real them? Good luck.
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No offense but your cousin acts more like a prep. Its hard to change people though. and considering she's 15 I doubt she will but if you keep telling her she'll probably a little open minded. I bet if someone judeged her like that She'd probably start saying stuff to them even if she does it herself. Tell me what you think.
FOREVER.
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I think you should be telling her exactly what you said in the last paragraph. Sit down and discuss it with her, but make sure you explain to her that you are not trying to cause any conflict between the two of you, and that you are only trying to help her.
♥ Behind Blue Eyes
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