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Trust
I have been involved with "Louie" for a while now and his family has been going through some really hard times. I have been there for him, and have even help his family to raise money for some of the problems they are having. Once everything settled down, everyone sort of turned on me. I have helped them financially, and emotionly. Now, they are accusing me of stealing money. I have never taken anything from them, and never would. When I was growing up, I was always taught to work for everything, nothing in life comes free. Before this situation "Louie" told me that he loved me and that he would never turn his back on me. I realize now, that he is listening to all the gossip that his family and friends are telling him. He hasn't even given me the chance to tell him how I feel. I live a few houses down from him, and it is very painful to pass by his house, knowing that he is home, and probably talking about me. My family says to just let him go and don't see him anymore, my heart is telling me to run over there and talk to him and straighten out this problem. I haven't seen him in about a week, so I guess I'm listening to my family. My question, should I go and see him and defend myself, or do I just forget him and let it all go?
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If you love him then you need to tell him, defend yourself! What is the worst that could happen? If you don't then you will end up getting hurt even more!
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Don't let it go. You should follow your heart. Go talk to him and maybe he will understand. Your parents are trying to keep your heart from breaking. And I don't know what's the deal with his folks. But if you really care about him then you should definitely talk to him. You might not get what you want out of it, but at least you know you said something.
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Well I think actions speak louder than words. I think you are not being told what the REAL reason is for this sudden change in the behavior of his family. First of all, if the whole thing was innocent, and you were accused in error, "Louie" would give you the chance to clear the air, and his family too, would want to hear your side and give you a chance to exonerate yourself. But it seems they don't want to give you that chance. Even criminals in a court of law, get to explain things. They don't want to hear your answer, because they know you didn't do anystealing. So why are they suddenly turning on you. Well it could be something you did, but if you did something wrong, you would think they would just say, "hey why did you do that, I didn't like that, and I hope you don't do it again". but since they are just making false accusations, and have turned their backs, and won't let you around them any more, including Louie, the problem lies with them. Now what could it be....
are they embarrased that you had to help them, and know too much about their family financial situation?
Do they raise so much money are they afraid you might want some or want to be paid for your help?
You are right when you started in question with the word trust. Trust goes both ways, and if, as you say, you are a trustworthy person, it is hard to understand people who don't trust other people. This is what I think....Louie and his family are juding you by their standards. People who lie, always think everyone else lies. People who cheat always think everyone else cheats, and people who steal, always think everyone else steals, and people who are selfish, always think everyone else is selfish.
And in your case, people who are trustworthy, always treat everyone as if they were trustworthy. But sometimes you find out that is not the case. But you should not change to please them. And as I said they don't want to hear you explanation because deep down inside, they know you didn't do anything wrong. You parents are right, steer clear of him and his family. I know myself, it is the hardest thing to do, to not be able to tell your side. But once you realize that telling your side won't make a bit of difference because in is not the truth that they are interested in.
I hope this helped.
Michele
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Wow... Louie is listening to the wrong side of the 'conversation'. I can imagine how you feel, hurting, knowing that you've done nothing wrong, yet you're being accused. I think that there are three things that you can do:
1. Take your family's advice and just ignore him, dump him, don't see him.
2. Write his whole family a letter telling them your feelings and your side. Be respectful of their hardships, but explain that you love them and would never try and hurt them. Remember, this would be an open letter to all involved, so be polite - you've only got one chance to do it.
3. E-mail, IM, telephone, face-to-face - just talk with him and tell him your side (the truth)
If you choose option 2., then you'll need to think about what you want to say, how you're going to say it, and what makes it sound convincing. Be sincere, truthful, don't stretch it, and - if at all possible - be fairly brief; but not so brief that you come off as cold.
If you choose option 1., then all you have to do is E-mail him and say that you're tired of his lies and you don't want to see him again; and that's it.
I would personally try 2. first, because - obviously - you put alot of hard work into this guy and his family. You helped them out in their time of need, you helped them raise money... then you're accused of stealing. I would try and explain that I'd never ever do something like that to someone I loved. If that doesn't work, then, unfortunately, all you've got left is to let him go.
Don't just 'let it all go'. That's not justice to you. It's unfair to you because you did nothing wrong, and you're being wrongly accused. You're being violated here! Stand up for yourself, but be polite and caring while you're doing that.
Ask God for wisdom and guidance; if you follow His plan, all will work out.
-FunnyCide
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