|
I wrote to you a while ago about my husband who beat me and what I should do. Well I went to the police and got a restraining order and he came after me again. He said he was trying to get his son because he didn't feel that he was safe in my custody and then things got violent. He was put in jail but he bailed himself out. I've been staying with my friend and one day he showed up and took my son I couldn't stop him. I fought back as hard as I could but I just couldn't stop him. The police have been looking for days and we still can't find him. They have assured me that when they do find him that he will be thrown in jail immediately for violating the restraining order. I don't care about that now though all that I care about is gettig my son back. I don't think that he would hurt his son but I'm not positive.
I just wanted to let you know how things were going.
~Sarah~
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
HI Sarah,
I am very sorry for your troubles. I went through the same thing. My ex-husband was a weight lifter and I could not stop him from taking my two sons. And I did not have a restraining order the the time, and we were not divorced so the police told me that he had as much right to the kids as I did, but they would arrest him for stealing my car. big help! Well he went on the road with two kids, one a baby still on the bottle, and I don't know where he went, but he put 1,400 miles on my car. after four days he called me because he knew he could not take care of two babies on his own. Of course he made me grovel and beg and plead with him, but he came back. I got my two boys back, and he got arrested. When he got out he went to live with his folks. So there was a stand off. Because of the restraining order he could not ask to come back and live with me. And that was fine with me.
Like you I did not think he would hurt the boys either, and after a few days my four year old started crying for mommy, and there was not much he could do about that except bring him to his mommmy. I hope your son is calling for you.
Today my ex and I still hate each other, but we silently agreed to get along for the sake of the boys. My boys are 15 and 19. They are good kids and well adjusted. They saw both of us every day. He lives not far from here. My ex really scared me, but I stuck it out for the boys. I could have left the state, because in the divorce, because of his stupid move to take them from me, and dissapear, I got FULL Physical CUSTODY. And that is very important. That means that he cannot leave the state or take them out of state for any reason without my permission. He hated it, but he made his bed. His lawyer told him he had better sign the agreement.
So , like I said the first year was very difficult, he tried to intimidate me, and he was mean to me, but while my knees were shaking, I just held my ground. He would not hit me in front of the kids, and he moved in with his parents, and would not hit me in front of them either, because he wanted everyone to think I was the bad guy, so he had to act normal. Eventually he setttled down, and we settled into a pattern of co-parenting. He worked third shift, and I worked during the day, so I dropped the kids off at his house each morning.
I did not want to keep his boys from him, I know that boys need a dad. And this was very generous of me to cooperate in this way, since he never gave me a cent of child support, but it wasn't worth fighting with him for it, because I knew he would put the kids in the middle. I have girl friends whose kids never see their dad, and they have some emotional problems. As the kids got older, they say their father for the jerk he really is, but they love him and that is important I don't stand in the way. I don't ask them to take sides. Our problems were not their problems.
YOu have along way to go before you get to that point. I also beleive your husband won't hurt your child, and your child is really missing you and giving him a hard time. You will hear from them, and grovel if you must to get him back but call the police and let him get arrrested. Don't ever hesitate to get him arrested, each time he crosses the line. It is the only thing that will stop him from doing it again. Legal fees and having to face the judge and look like a fool. My ex also had to go to anger management classes. (didn't help)
Write again and let me know what happens. I can give you some advice too when and if you get around to filing for divorce.
I am praying for both you and your child.
Michele
]
More Questions: |