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Creepy girlfriend--should I get rid of her?
I'm a fourteen-year old female I have a girlfriend that I really love but never see. When she talks about sex, she reminds me of my rapist so we haven't had sex yet and I don't think I want to. Every time we talk about getting together she talks about sex, but she writes me poetry and she's really loving. She's suicidal and I feel like protecting her. She hasn't come out to her parents yet and I think she feels safe with me. What should I do? She sort of creeps me out, mostly because she cares about sex so much. I'm a virgin save for my molestation when I was 7 through 8. I don't think she gets that I'm touchy about it, no pun intended (dark humor, sorry). I used to cut myself but I stopped, and she still wants me to. I told her I stopped and she asked me why not. She still does. Her mom's always on heroin and she does pot. I want and don't want to dump her at the same time. Should I break up with her?
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To put it plain and simple: yes.
She's a negative influence on you and she's making you really uncomfortable. That's no reason to stay with her. The fact that she's trying to get you to cut again is not only totally disturbing, but dangerous as well.
I think you should break up with her and try and get her some professional help.
-Laura (17-f)
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Yes, I think you should break up with her.
If the way she talks about sex is making you uncomfortable and if she's pressuring you into it, then that is a no-no. She knows what you've been through and is still making things difficult for you. You've told her no, and she still keeps on.
Also, she wants you to keep cutting yourself even though you've stopped? That doesn't sound like love to me. People who love each other want the best for each other, and they would never want the other person to hurt - whether they did it themselves or not.
You need to break up with her and get her help. I understand that she's at a dark place in her life and is having a rough time, but it isn't fair of her to pressure you or make you uncomfortable knowing your past. And it most certainly isn't fair of her to want you to harm yourself. That's a big no-no. She's gotta go. Get her help, and break up with her. This relationship is dangerous to your health - both of you.
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yes, you should brake up with her staying with someone ONLY Because you think you need to help her isn't a good enough reason before you dump her you should try telling someone in her life that cares about her weather it be her mother, father, grandparent, aunt, uncle anyones.. because someone needs to know about the break up to watch her and get her help if needed since shes suicidal you say you love and care about her that would be the best thing for her, it seems like she has her own problems that she needs to deal with. Someone who is telling you to cut yourself and encourage you to do it again? thats not someone you want in your life. It's a good thing that you stopped, and you realized its not worth it, try to tell her that? or not thats up to you but please don't start again nothing is worth it to do that to yourself. it seems like you have a traumatic past, you don't need this girl making it only worse for you, the person you should be with should make you happy all the time and be encouraging, not trying to make you have sex.. and with your background i think that the person should be respectful of that and wait until your ready.
i hope everything works out for you
gooodluck.
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This is very tough. It's clear you care about each other though. Maybe you should continue dating but tell her how you feel. Tell her you aren't ready for sex quite yet and toy would rather her not cut. Ask her how she'd feel to see you hurt yourself. Although if you want to break up with her you should but let her know you are still open to a good friendship and will be there when she needs your help. I hope this helps you.
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