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I'm sorry guys because I just didn't know what to title this. I'm a 14 year old female and I've been having some problems lately and I was hoping you guys could help me figure out what to do. While I was out to dinner with my youth pastors, I accidentally let it slip that I cut myself. After that, they were all worried and concerned and stuff. I didn't quite see what the big deal was at the time because I'm not trying to kill myself, I just like the way it feels and it really helps me through the hard times. Well, one of my youth pastors has been checking up on me recently and I don't want to tell her, but I cut. She tells me I can call her if I ever need anything or if I ever want to talk, but I find it somewhat hard to do that. I just feel like I'm slipping away from God, my friends, and just everybody. I don't know what to do. I keep lying to her and telling her I'm not doing it, but the truth is, I've done it one time since we've started talking about it. I don't want to tell her because I know if I do, she'll make me tell my parents and there is enough drama going on in my home life that I don't need to bring this into the mix. I know I shold probably go see a therapist, but I don't like the thought of sitting in a stranger's office and telling them what's wrong with my life because then I feel like a crybaby and it would just be weird to tell a stranger that kind of stuff. I'm just at a loss of what to do because my youth pastors think I'm a good kid and stuff, but they don't know the stuf that I'm hiding from them. I guess my questions are: should I tell them? if so, what should I say? how can I get 'reunited' with God? I would really appreciate your answers. Thanx in advance!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Sweetheart, you really should tell someone. It really is a big deal when you need to conflict pain among yourself to feel better. You really need to tell your youth pastor. You can tell her not to tell your mom and maybe she can help you get through it. But even if she does tell your mom, she can get you help. It is that serious! Good luck.
-Brianna
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well, me and you have a lot in common. I am a thirteen year old female catholic. I once was raped and hated myself for not telling my parents so the way I got throgh it was cutting myself. I lost too much blood and ended up in the hospital. I don't want to sound like ms mom, but it can kill you, as u can see. I told my parents and I got involved in a ton of stuff instead of cutting myself. I work at as a volenteer at a theripedic horse riding center, I am a cheerleader, and I have a boyfriend! Try getting into stuff like sports and try new friends. Surrounding yur self by friends can help.
U're welcome. HOPE I HELPED!
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HI Honey,
I learned a long time ago when I saw a young girl on a TV talk show who had burned her arm with a hot iron. Her mom was on with her too, and a therapist. She was left home while her parents went on lavish vacations She was sent away to school, she was sent away all the time. All she wanted was some attention from her parents. Normal attention. The kind of attention that tells her that she matters and that she is important, and that her feelings count. Her mother and the therapist both told her that she wanted too much attention. My heard sank for her. It was then that I realized that kids to hurt themselves physically, with hot objects or sharp objects, it is because they are "numb" from having to stifle their feelings. Their need to be seed as important by the parents, and their parents telling them that they don't count, makes them learn to totally turn off their feelings so they don't cause any more trouble. Don't make waves, don't rock the boat. Don't go away mad, just go away. After denying your feelings for so long, you long to feel SOMETHING. And pain is better than numbness.
Pain is better than nothing.
You say that it is no big deal, the problem is dear, that it won't stop there. I don't mean that you will kill yourself. YOu do not want to die, I believe you. You just want to feel. You hint that there are problems at home, and I am not surprised. And I'll bet you are "hypervigilant". When you walk in the door, the first thing you do is read everyone's mood, then you know whether you can relax and slip away, or whether or not there is trouble brewing and whether or not you will be involved in it. You say that you don't want to talk to a therapist because you don't want to seem like a crybaby. Ia that what you are called at home, when you expect to be treated normally. When you expect to have a normal and loving home life. You did not choose your family. It is not your fault, but if you continue doing this thing without getting help. You'll do lots of self-destructive things and act in self-destructive ways because you don't believe that you matter. I say that you do need to talk to someone, but be sure it is someone who has your interestes in mind, not your parents. A person from church may be best. If you go to a therapist, that your parents are paying for, that therapist may agree with them, that you are the one with the problem, because they are paying the bill. I have seen this happen. Hang in there, and I hope you find the answers you need.
Michele
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Yes you tell. Everything. Cutting doesn't make you a bad person, don't even think that. But, you need help and someone to talk to. Going to a therapist and telling what you are feeling Does not make you a crybaby either. It would be weird at first sure, but it is something you need. Start with the youth pastors and just let loose.
Good luck. :)
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i understand that cutting yourself gets you through hard times. but i really dont think that you should do it anymore and maybe thats how you can get "REUNITED" with god. i think that you should tell so you can get all of this drama off of your chest. and also, if you tell them say " i have to tell you something, but please dont be upset and mad."..and then just get it out. im sure it wont be bad.. and i really do think that it will help.. just promise me that you wont cut yourself anymore.=(.. if you are going through hard times, why dont you just screaminto a pillow or something NOT DANGEROUS..PLEASE.. i really hope you stop..
your friend,
Ms.Advice
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you should tell them.and get a therapist. cuttin yourself isnt going 2 do any good 4 u.if u get help most of your promblems will b solved. hoped i helped!
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first admit you have a problem (which u kinda did)and quit.. i kno it might be hard but thats what family and friends are for so dont like about it because then your only hurting yourself
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