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i want to but i dont
ok well i have this boyfriend i love him him soo much and he loves me too and he wants a kid reallie badd and i do too and we kinda said we want one but im afraid of my parents reaction if i did end up getting pregnant. and i mean im scared becuz my da tends to have a very bad temper problem like one time i juss wanted to go to my room and so he grabbed the bak of my head and literally threw me into my room and made my head hit the wall and i cut it open on a tack thing and so i tried to walk past him to get a wet rag and he wouldnt let me! and so im not afraid of my moms reaction becuz all she would do is give me andvice and help me raise it and tell me i was stupid and kik me out of the house cuz they said if i mess up reallie badly one more time im out of the house its my dads reaction im afraid of becuz when he gets madd he juss like blacks out and doesnt kno wat hes doing until its done and my boyfriend says that if my dad tried to hurt me that he would defend me and hit my dad and all but i dont want anyone to get hurt you know? but you have no idea how badd i want a baby!!!! and if i did get pregnant i'd want it to be my boyfriends baby. im juss afraid of my dad he scares me more than anyone i have ever known in my life
answer as fast as you can plz!!
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You don't say your age. You do use the phrase that you mom would "help you raise it". No way.
you are not ready for a baby. I had one when I was a teen and take it from me...Life as you know it is over. You may think you want one but until you are married or at least able to support yourself AND a baby forget it. Nice guy or not his life will go on pretty much as normal.You will have a baby to care for. He will go play, you will stay and watch the baby. Doctors and hospital bills are horrible. You would be in debt big time for YEARS. You will live in the very worst part of town to raise a kid because it's all you'll be able to afford.If you can maintain a car, how will you pay for tags and insurance. Or tires and car parts. You will be unable to pay your utilities and eat.You won't be able to afford diapers. You won't have friends anymore because once they see the baby and gush over it a couple of times...they will go on with their lives.Which no longer will include you. Because you will have changed and they will still be carefree and out having fun.Your bf will have to work a minumum wage paying job, maybe two. You won't see him and when you do he will be tired and no help at all. He may begin to resent it all, you included. Or it may be you who has enough. That isn't something you put on your parents. They can't, nor should they have to support your family. They've done that already. If your REALLY lucky you may survive it all. But that is so very rare that I really don't think you want to take that chance. I'm also sure that I have left out plenty. So, I really hope that you reconsider the notion of just getting pregnant because you want a baby. Think of him/her and not yourselves. It may be a romantic notion and maybe someday it will happen for you, but do it right. Because I'm here to tell you that you don't even want to travel that road. Now, i'm sure this isn't the advice you wanted to hear.But you needed to hear it. If,for any reason you should want to talk some more, my email address is on my column. I am not trying to make you feel bad, I'm really not. But don't do something stupid on purpose.
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umm well this is a very tricky situation... Why do you want a baby in the first place...you have your whole life to raise a child///why rush it?? Just wait and what if you two break up and then you have this kid to raise allllll by yourself?? AANNDDD what if he gets custody..???? then yr screwed so dont waste your time and energy on a kid with this guy..good luck
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Please forgive me in advance. I know that what I am about to say is going to be down right ugly. But I'm going to say it, because you need to hear it. Please understand that I say this, not to insult your intelligence, but out or concern.
If you are worring about what Mommy and Daddy would do if you got pregnant, you are not old enough to have a child. If you are still living under your parents' roof, you are not old enough to have a child. You are not old enough, and you are unprepared.
And this is why...
Are you still in school? If so, how do you intend to financially support a baby? Are you going to quit, and go out and get a full-time job? If so, please consider this...With no education it is EXTREMELY difficult to find a well paying job. Most likely, you would have to work what is called a "dead-end job" (as in going NOWHERE) for very little money.
Do you expect Mom and Dad to help you? Isn't that unfair? You would be giving them an extra mouth to feed, when they didn't have any input whatsoever. Do you think that is just a little inconsiderate? And this is why you shouldn't have children until you can financially support yourself and have enough left over to support another person as well. Don't have a kid until you can afford one.
Are you prepared to raise a child? Are you willing to watch them every moment of every day? Are you willing to give up sleeping at night, so that you can be there for them when they cry? Are you willing to even change a diaper? What are you going to do when they get in trouble? Say goodbye to your social life, say goodbye to school, say goodbye to your free time. A child is more work than any full-time job. Because you can never clock out!
And again, if you are expecting your parents to help you with this, that's really inconsiderate. Now, not only are you giving them a financial burden, you're giving them an emotional burden as well. They now have to help you raise a child, when it sounds like they haven't even finished raising their own children yet. If they didn't have a hand in the plan, why should it be their responsibility?
Basicly, what I am saying is, if your dad got really angry...I could understand. This isn't just your mistake, it becomes his too.
Oh, and if you are thinking that your boyfriend is going to help you...He's going to have the same problem when it comes to providing for a baby. And he may want one now, but that's no guarentee that he will still want it in the future. No, I don't know him. Yes, he might love you. But take a look at all the single parents in the world, who have had their significant other bail on them when things got too difficult. It happens everyday, and it could happen to you too.
Don't make your life, or your parents life, more difficult than it has to be. Wait. You can have children, but don't until you are living in your own house, paying your own bills, old enough to see the reason in what I am saying, and have a significant other that is as prepared as you. In fact, it might be a good idea to wait until you're married. Because then, you at least have a promise that he will stay.
If your boyfriend really loves you, he can wait too. He can wait until you are both independent. Besides, if he can wait that long, then you know he'll stick around after that pregnancy test comes back positive...
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How old are you? A baby is a lifetime commintment and you will have to take care of that baby every moment in your life. You are probablly really young Im guessing but do you really want a baby right now? Are you sure that you are ready? I wish I knew how old you are because it would make it easier for me to answer this question. I think that you should wait until you get married and until you are old enough. I know how much you both want that baby but there is other things you have to think about. You have to finish school if you already didnt and you will need a job and a place to stay. You both will have to work extra hard and forget about your life and focus on the baby. Save money so you can buy clothes, food, toys and everything for the baby and you might not have time for your life and for your responsibilities. If you seriouslly cant wait a while talk to your mom. Its good that she gives you advice because she is only trying to help you. Every dad usually has a bad tempor but your dad is only trying to protect you. x0
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OK, well, you didn't say how old you are and that makes it a little dificult to give you any advice on this subject but I am guessing your young maybe 14-16? I am guessing this because your thinking about all the worst possible things that could happen if you do get pregnant. If you are afraid about what your dad or your mom might do to you then DON'T DO IT! wait until you get married!and i know that seems like a long way away, but you gotta do what you gotta do! If you really wanna have sex then please use protection!some is better then none! if you wanna have sex and also want a child then why don't you sit down with your mom alone and ask her what she would do if you ever did get pregnant. But if you and your bf wanna do this then please think about it. A baby is a lot of respnsiblity! and when i re-read what your dad did to you, maybe its notsuch a good idea to have a baby at your age. I hope i could help and if you need ne more advice come to my site ~*Breanna Marie*~
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Well, first, you do understand that a baby is a lifetime commitment, right? You can't just have the baby and then say "I've changed my mind, I don't want one anymore,". As HyperactiveMiss said, you do sound very young.
You also don't have a JOB or a HOUSE or MONEY or even a HUSBAND. Those are the key things to a successful family. Your boyfriend could leave at any second he wanted to.
I also agree with HyperactiveMiss when she said that you need to wait until you are ready.
I really don't mean to be mean, but you really don't sound like you are ready. You really need to think about this thoroughly and make sure you really want to go through with this. You can't giv the baby back.
~Hope that helped~
~K~
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I wouldn't blame your parents for having a reaction you didn't want.
You did not specify your age. That would have definitely helped. I'm assuming you are young because you have many doubts, insecurities, and you are afraid of what your parents will think.
I think you are making a mistake if you are trying to have a baby. A baby is not as great as you think. They need your care 24/7. Your relationship with your boyfriend will NOT be the same. Everything will be about the baby.
For another thing, you LIVE IN YOUR PARENTS' house. Do you think you can provide everything your child NEEDS? Bringing a baby into the world just because you want one is very selfish. The baby will not get what it deserves. Once you have a baby, you cannot just say you don't want it anymore. It will be your responsibility for LIFE.
I'm not saying you CAN'T have a baby EVER. Children can be such a miracle! But, I AM saying you should not have one NOW. Everything is all about timing. Wrong timing can throw everything off. Think about what you are doing.
If your father scares you that much, DON'T have the baby. Have the baby when you are READY and when you can afford your own HOUSE away from your father. Do you really want the baby to fear and LIVE with his/her grandfather? You really need to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about the BABY.
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