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differences
My boyfriend and I have been together for two and half years, and we are both eighteen. We are both very different from one another. I'm asian, I grew up with strict parents, I don't party much, or go out much. I like to do things around the house to keep me busy, like reading and writing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not boring and I know how to have fun, and I'm allowed to do anything that I want. Whenever I do go out, I'm pretty much the life of the party. Him, on the other hand, he is black, his parents were never really strict on him growing up.. he parties a lot and likes to go out all the time. He gets mad, or annoyed at me because I'm not the type to party and go all out. I get mad and annoyed at him when he parties too much. We both love each other, but it seems like that is what we mostly argue about nowadays. I'm not going to change my ways to satisfy him, and he isn't going to either. We talk about it, but even still, nothings going to change. How can I go about if an argument starts again? It just annoys me when he says to me that I don't know how to have fun, or that I'm boring. We both just have different definitions on the word fun. Any advice will be nice. Thanks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It shouldn't matter whether you're asian or black or white or green or purple or blue. Fact of the matter is that your boyfriend is still in party mode. No way around it. Don't expect him to even consider settling down until well until his mid-to-late 20s. I'm asian and 28 and I STILL party hard. Marriage is not a consideration for me right now and will not continue to do so till I'm at least 30. Take that into perspective. I doubt that he's gonna settle down anytime soon so maybe you should find someone who has more similar interests. You sound like 2 completely opposite people. Find someone who is more compatible with your interests. While the old adage 'opposites attract' is true, very few people hear the 2nd half of that adage 'but hardly stay together'.
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I have advise but I doubt you will like it.Sorry ahead of time okay.
I know that you feel you love each other.But, the fact is that your diffrences are so vast that I don't see a future here.I mean if you two got married he would never be home!
I would seriously consider finding diffrent partners.I know that's not what you want to hear but you guys are definitely going in two completelty diffrent directions. Good luck.
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Well, if you both really love eachother, how about you try eachother's ways of life sometimes. like one night go and party for him, and one night ask him if you guys can have dinner or something together and just talk it out. Also, it is very hard if your VERY different, but dont get me wrong, different can be the best of things sometimes, but i think your idea of different is way easier than some other ways. I think if you sit down together and disgus it, it might go well if you agree to do both ways or you lives. sorry if you dont like my advice, but i definetly tried. GOOD LUCK with him! xoxo
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I don't think you should worry so much about changing yourself, you two seem to make for a perfect match, you balance each other out. He can show you how to be more party hardy, and you can show him how to be more chilled.
Besides, who would want to go out with someone who's so similiar to themselves? Why not just go out with yourself then. I think you guys will be fine.
And, when he gets on your back about not partying enough, you should get on his ass about partying too much.
Good luck!
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Neither of you should have to change who you are to please the other.
However, subtle compromises might be necessary to make your relationship work.
At least, even if no change is made regarding behavior, you both need to accept the other for who he/she is. A big part of love is acceptance- taking the good with the bad.
Now, I know that sounds really preachy... and I'm sorry. But I do mean it all sincerely.
Perhaps if you find you're arguing more than having fun together, it's a sign that the relationship is fading. Not all relationships will last forever- I know you said you're in love, but sometimes there are bigger things.
I guess if I were you, I'd let him go party on his own when I didn't feel like going out. I'd try to explain to him and ask him to accept that I need my "me" time, my quiet time at home.
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