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my mom!!
yesterday, after school, was the beginning of my spring break and when i came home, i decided to play around because it was the first day of spring break and i was happy! so when my mom got home and saw me talking on the phone, chatting, and listening to my ipod, she got all mad, screaming why i wasn't doing my project! well i have 2 really important history projects to do over spring break, but the thing is both of them are due like 5 weeks after spring break! she forced me to work on it all night and i was workng and working and she kept on screaming and screamign! i wanted so badly to tell her to SHUT THE HELL UP I'M WORKING!!! but she has a bad temper and i do too (i inherited it from her) and i don't want to start one of our horrible fights. so i kept calm and did my work. so after like 2 hours i decided to take a break and play minesweeper, and then my mom came in and totally freaked out, saying i was wasting my time! i told her i was just taking a break and she won't believe me!!! she started screaming about how i just wasted her entire night because the lazy, worthless child i am (she didn't exactly say that but she was SO thinking that!). then my grandma came and asked if she should wake me up again (because once she didn't and i woke up at 12 and i got mad, long story) and then i was like sure. my grandma said "ok how about i wake you up at 10:30?" and i was going to say NO WAY and then my mom cried "10:30!? she should be woken up at 8:30!!" I CAN'T STAND MY MOM!! HOW CAN I STOP HER!! SHE'S FORCING ME TO FINISH THE ROUGH DRAFT OF BOTH MY PROJECTS TODAY AND DOES SHE KNOW HOW MUCH WORK AND TIME THAT IS GOING TO TAKE!? AND SHE'S ALWAYS SAYING THAT WHEN SHE WAS A CHILD, HER MOTHER WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS TO HER BECAUSE SHE WAS THE PERFECT STUDENT AND DID ALL HER WORK!! AND YES I BELIEVE HER BECAUSE SHE ENDED UP GOING TO MIT AND BECAME A DOCTOR AND ALL. BUT PLEASE HOW CAN I CONTROL HER! SHE'S OVERWELMING ME! JUST BECAUSE SHE COULD STAND TO DO ALL THIS WORK WHEN SHE WAS MY AGE, DOESN'T MEAN I CAN!!! HELP ME PLEASE THIS IS SERIOUSLY AN EMERGENCY!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Dear Mymom,
I can completely sympathize with you. You feel that she is being irrational and in some ways, judging from your letter, she is. If the projects are due 5 weeks after Spring break, you definitely have some time there for a little play too. The second half of your letter, however, places the reactions of your mom in more perspective. If your mom went to MIT and is currently a doctor, she is used to hard work. She thinks about work and it makes her feel good. She seemed as if she was a very motivated child and she has the degree to prove it. But you are not your mother. She is expecting a lot more from you than you are willing or able to give. Not only is she overwhelming you now, she is also putting limits on being a teen. Because what that means to both of you are two entirely different things. What you have to do, and I'm not saying this will be easy, is to come to some sort of a compromise. And that means you must talk to her. Before you do that, here is another project for you. (fun, huh?) You need to sit down and write out a schedule. Yes. A schedule. Something that YOU can live with and something that SHE will be amenable to. Perhaps you can say that for one hour per day, you will do your chores. And put a definitive time on that. Say from 11:30 - 12:30. You will then have lunch. After lunch, you get your own time from 1:00 - 4:00. At 4:00, you will work on your projects for an hour and a half. Then dinner. After dinner, and helping with dinner, cleaning up and putting the dishes away, the time is spent however you want it to be.
After you have made your schedule, present it to your mom in a VERY mature, sincere way. You want to come across as sensitive to her wishes too. You want to look as if you are mature, on your way to becoming a responsible adult. AND you want her to be proud of you. ACT as if you WANT her to be proud of you. She seems like a very structured person and wants to have some control over things so she knows what's going on. Your mom only wants the best for you, and the best FROM you. (And when you are sticking to your schedule, do just that, STICK to it, don't take breaks in the middle of what is supposed to be your project time...) I have a feeling when your mother realizes what a great daughter she has, she will be a little more flexible with you, but you have to do your part as well. Please let me know how it goes.
Good luck!
Linda
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well my moms the same way you should really tell her to get of your back and tell her that your projects arent due intill much later and tell her that alot of things have changed since she was a kid and tell her that you dont like her yelling at you and shes putting way to much pressure thanks for talking to me
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Hiya just tell your mum how you feel!just say you have lots of homework and that you can do it all in one night. say you think she wants you to be perfect like she was. Why dont you stay with ur gran for a bit untill your mum gets help mabe if she went to the doctors and got the problem sorted out then you and her would be alot better of. What she is making you do is totally wrong and she should understand that making you work all night and all day because she was once a girl her self and had much homework and she shouldnt forcing you to stay at home and just do all ur course work. Good luck
luv roxie
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