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Can i replace her?
Hey! let me start off by saying that i love your column and that you give great advice!! now, here's my problem..i've had this HUGE crush (i dont even like calling it a crush, i think i love him..but no one thinks it's possible so whatever..)anyway, ive had this huge crush on a guy fro about 8 years (i've known him all my life) but we're not really tight friends. (thats not my problem) The thing is, i've never tried to hit on the guy or anything cuz i wanted to respect his GF and all..They've been together 7 years (since 4th grade)and during all this time i've liked him..and i know he really loves her, but they just broke up 3 weeks ago, im gonna let him get over her cuz i know he needs time (c'mon it wa 7 years!!) but then after that? will i ever be able to replave his first love, his gf of 7 years? its gonna be terrible he's gonna be comparing me with her..and i cant compete with her and what they had. What am i going to do? When he first gottogether with her i decided to get over him..and i've been trying ever since..but it didnt work =( seven years later, here i am, still in love with him..so please dont tell me to get ver him! it wont work..please help me, please!!
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Thanks for the compliment!! =) Wow!! 7 years. This guy really must be something. Sadly you probably won't be able to replace the love of his former girlfriend..(I mean we're talking 7 years!!!) Well..if I were you, madly in love with this guy I'd wait a few months..just to give him some recovery time, you know?? Then maybe you guys can simply just hang out and get to know each other more. Then when you guys have really hit it off, ask him out. Maybe he'll say yes. Don't be too clingy or anything like that..it seems desperate. Play hard to get..let him know there's a part of you he needs to discover. Good luck and anytime you need to talk...drop one in my inbox!!
X♥X
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Well yea he will always compare you to her.. but there will probably be things he likes bout you and things he'll miss bout his ex girl.. but eventually he'll except you and love you the way you are too.. that was his first love and real long term relationship so that will always be there.. um jus except that and yes of course wait til he gets over his ex..which will probably be a while.. but you make it sound like you might not have a chance so i wouldnt get your hopes all high if there couldnt be a chance but think positive bout it too.. much luv dez x0x0
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Hi there, thank you very much. Now, about this crush, you made the right moves that most other girls would not make, you never tried to flirt with him because he had a girlfriend, and you decided to give him time when he lost her. Its been 3 weeks now, and I'm sure hes probably not over her yet, but when you have someone new, sure there will be comparison to an old boyfriend or girlfriend, but it doesn't mean that he can't love you more than he loved her. No, you can't replace her, but you can take her spot of being his new girlfriend, he will always remember how much he loved her, but then he will focus on the present, which would be to move on, and after he moves on, maybe you could try talking to him, now I know you wanted to get over him, but maybe you could try getting into his life. The first thing you could try saying is, "I know you don't know me, but I heard about your break up." Or write him a note. You've crushed on this guy for 8 years, I think you definetly owe it to yourself to say something to this guy. I think you should give communication a shot, and if it doesn't work out, then at least you don't have to sit at home a year later thinking, "I wonder what could have happened if I would have talked to him." You should go on ahead and say something, anything, like your sorry about the break up. It takes guts to talk to someone you love, I know, but just take chances, if you want to, you can tell me if you said anything, because I'd be really glad to help you through it, thanks for asking me.
-TheTeenGirl
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