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Interferring mother
OK...sorry, this will be quite long.
Well, my parents are divorced and I live with my mother. I don't see my father any more, because he got married to this lady called Karen, and she sends me loads of horrible emails, accusing me and my mother of all sorts of crap. I'm perfectly happy with not seeing him because I never got on with him, so that's not my question.
The thing is, my mother still wants me to see my father's parents. I really don't like them and all they do is complain at/about me while I'm there and I never enjoy any time I spend with them. My mother keeps going 'oh well you should do what you want I'm not forcing you to see them', but if I mention not wanting to go and see them, she moans at me and says I really should or whatever. She is really adamant that she hasn't influenced me or told me what to do in any of this business with seeing my father and his parents, but she is forcing me into seeing my grandparents!! They always talk about me not seeing my father while I'm there as well and it's driving me mad.
What can I do about this?? My mother swears she isn't MAKING me see them, but she complains at me if I don't go, or punishes me by not letting me go out at the weekend or something. How do I make her see that she IS influencing my choices over seeing that side of my family?
No answers saying that I should see my family please!! That's not my question and I don't want that answer thanks. I'm very aware that they are my family, thank you very much, and that most people see theirs. Well I'm not most people, so no preaching if you guys don't mind! Thanks!
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Honestly, I think you should go see your dad's side of the family, but wait.. I'm not finished. I think you should tell them straight up that you don't appreciate them always complaining about you and everything little thing you do, do. And that it's not your fault that you don't want to see your dad. Tell them that he's the one that left and got married to some other woman who sends me and my mom emails that we are rotten people or whatever the emails do say. (If you don't say something to them then they will think that they can always treat you like shit. They are stepping all over you and you don't deserve that, of the way you sound.) And one last thing you can say to them is that it's also not my choice of coming here. Do you really think I like to hear bad things about me? And I'd talk to your mother about that. Say something like Mom look I get it I should see family but I don't like them making rude remarks to me I can't stand it when I'm sitting/standing right there hearing complaints about myself. And that if your mom wants to prove that she's not (trying) to influence you to see them then she shouldn't complain about not seeing them nor punish you for not wanting to see people that make you feel like crap 99.9% of the time (I know where you are coming from, not with the whole dad situation but like my family sometimes makes me feel like shit most of the time like that that's why I'm not a big family person I hate seeing my family I don't care for them, I don't like to see them, I just don't appreciate seeing them more than twice in 5 years ha, ha). Hope I helped! You don't have to take my advice it's only a suggestion always remember that.
Buh Bye,
ShanN*
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Hey!
Well, you should see your family... but not if they treat you like crap! You should not be force into anything you don't want to tell you mother what is up tell her some of the things they have said. If that doesnt work you can always try to convince your grandparents to not want you to come anymore! Good Luck!
~*~Sour~*~
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Hmmm.. well, people in these sorts of problems, they have made up their mind and everything about what they want. Go to your mom, and tell her that you feel like you and her are in a room with closing a spiked wall and she keeps pushing you into it-or something like that=P
But seriously, you need to have a chat and tell her this. The things you are telling her now are having no effect, so you need to get serious and tell her that you don't like going over there because they still talk about 'it' right in front of you and you don't feel comfortable.
Tell her EVERYTHING. You have plenty reasons, and she should see your point.
Hope it works out!
*Diamyn*
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Just talk to your mom about it. She might be able to solve your problem, like explain to her what you just said!
♥ Michelle
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