|
i'm 16 and a mom
Well when i was 14 i got raped and i decided to keep the baby thing is though he is now 1 nearly 2 and i am having second thoughts of whether i should of had an abortion or not. I know it's abit late but i don't know what to do to make me love him the way i did when he was born.
Melissa
x~~~~~x
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
My advice would be just take it easy on yourself, you've done well to have the little guy for almost 2 years, being a young mother myself I know how hard it is to raise a child, and there are times where you wonder why on earth you did it, but the results are always rewarding. To me, having this child has been a blessing, I get to see what I have created and watch him grow up into a strong little boy and eventually into a young man, I know that in the future I will be proud of my son. You need to stay positive and if you can't handle it anymore, talk it out with someone you can trust.
]
Well, first of all, I'm sorry that happened to you. Babies are a lot of responsibility and that's hard to deal with at any age, under any circumstances. Unfortunately, you are young and these are under different circumstances than most mothers. You didn't choose to get pregnant, but you chose to have the baby. You have to do what's right for your baby.
Maybe you just need to talk about it? Babies are extremely difficult when they're 1 or 2. They need constant attention and are 100% dependent on their parents or guardians. If you think you might just need a break and a night to go out with your girl friends, ask one of your parents or guardians if they can watch him for a night.
You also need to tell them what you've been thinking about. Tell them that you're under a lot of stress and that it's taking a toll on you. I'm sure they would be willing to help you in any way that they could.
You might also want to talk to a professional if you aren't already. Sometimes therapists can help lay things out in front of you as they see them. They can help you sort through your feelings and help you make decisions that are as big as this one.
If these feelings persist and you honestly feel as though you just cannot be a mother to this child right now, you're going to have to make a very tough decision. You could either give the baby up to a trusted adult (parent, guardian, aunt). Someone that is very responsible, wants the baby, and is financially well enough off to be able to support him. If that isn't an option, you could consider putting him up for adoption.
You should not make any rash decisions right now. You're under a lot of stress, which is understandable. You don't want to start making decisions when you're not in a clear state of mind. Give yourself some time to really think about what your life would be like if your son wasn't in it.
I don't want to see your baby get hurt or neglected, but at the same time, I don't want you to make decisions without thinking through them with the adults in your life that you trust. Talk to your parents and whoever else you can be open with. Let them help you sort through your thoughts and feelings, then make the decisions that are necessary to make.
Hope this helps,
Darby
]
the first few years are the hardest. every mom thinks these things. im so sorry you were raped, and i cheer for your choice to not kill the child.
it isn't too late to give him up for adoption, though. you could have an open adoption, where you go and visit him a lot and talk to the family and they send pictures and mail and stuff.
like i said, its still not too late for that, and in all honesty, he probably wont remember his first 2 years anyway. an open adoption is your best choice. your too young to have to go through motherhood, and there are too many things you could miss out on.
take care! and i wish you the best :)
]
More Questions: |