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The gay best friend, but I'm not gay...
all right, I'm sure that i'm not the only one that has this problem. First of all, I'm male and straight. I have friends that are girls, who I become friends with, but then I might want to date later. I like being friends with a girl before I ask them out. I've dated girls before that I haven't really gotten to know before asking them out, and then we might last for a month or two. The girls I become friends with, I really like, but then they may say comments like " I wish I had a boyfriend that was like you." Here I am though? IF I bring it up about us going out, they say we're too good of friends to risk that. They ask me questions about guys and other stuff, but I'm starting to feel like I'm their best gay friend, but I'm not gay. What should I do if this happens again?
P.S. For you smart arses out there- I'm not effeminate either. I have a deep voice, drive a land rover, play football, hockey, and lacrosse, and dress in subdue clothes.
Thanks.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Ok. I'd like to say upfront that I know it's a little lame-ass to answer any question with "When you're older..." but in this case I think it really applies.
A lot of girls go thought a phase where they equate excitement/danger with romance. This is a pretty immature approach and most people grow out of it. When they do, they want what you want: to date someone they can be friends with. So, my advice to you is to try to date older girls and to look for girls your own age who are as mature as you are.
Good luck,
S
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You thought normal crushes were complex, now you really got your hands full!
My no means whatsoever are you the only guy that has this problem; if any straight guy with female friends says that he doesn't have a crush on one of them, I'd have to call him a liar of an extreme magnatude.
Unfortunately, I don't have an answer for your current situation, and I don't think one exists. Because friendships are so complex, and the only person who knows how to affectively deal with this is you. Only you know if you want to jeopardize a friendship, cause you can't go back to being "just friends". trust me! And only you can know if you can handle this type of rejection. Because this type of rejection hurts much, much more. Trust me on this, too.
All I can tell you is this; if you like a girl BEFORE you become friends with her, do not let the relationship move into a "friend" stage, whatsoever. Try to move it straight to the relationship stage to avoid this problem.
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aww dont worry about it. I think these girls are just too used to being your friend. DOn't worry just make sure the people u have crushes on like you to..Talk it through with them!!
Hope i helped!
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First of all stop trying to explain yourself to people. If you are secure enough with your manhood then don't worry about what other people think. Second, the great thing about having friends as girls is that you meet other girls through them. If you see someone they know that you can show interest with then let them hook you up. Sometimes they themselves might get a little jealous because all of a sudden they may start to like you. But you have valuable resources when having girls as friends. They can make you look good to other girls. Use that to your advantage.
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You sound like a really great guy..and i dont think these girls see you as their gay friend. i think they view you as a great friend whos a guy...and they dont want to take a chance and ruin the friendship they have with you. Next time this happens..say "well what if we make a promise that when we break up..we'll always be good friends." If the girl still doesnt want to..you cant force it..thats the last thing a girl wants. I have a friend whos a guy...and he wouldnt stop persuing this girl..he was annoying as hell! You'll find a girl whos willing to take that chance to be with you..and the wait will be worth it. They dont see you as gay..they see you as great guy and i bet your sexxy as hell. ;)
Hope I helped out?
-melissa-
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