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Should I trust this??
I am 6 years out of high school and I am still with my high school boyfriend. We are not married but have a child together. He has never cheated on me or anything, but now he is saying we should get our own places so that we can save some money (because this way I would get help from the state). He wants to do this for about a year, and he also says we need a little time apart because we've been together so long and been through so much. I don't agree with it, and I don't really understand it, but we've talked about it and talked about it and I really don't have a choice in the matter. He says he'll be over all the time and that I can keep EVERYTHING at my place, that he just wants to keep his clothes in his place. He's not as affectionate as he used to be, but he still wants sex. Guys, help me out here, what is he trying to tell me, is there any hidden agendas I should be concerned about or should I just believe him that he wants to try and save money and work on getting new things like furniture and/or car(s)? He says he feels we're going nowhere fast right now with his two dead end jobs. So I'm guessing he thinks this will be the easy way out? I'm not sure how to read him right now. What would you guys think if your guy wanted to do this...also, if any guys know what this means, please I need some insight. Should I trust this??
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No I'm not a guy, But it's clear to see what he's trying to do. Spair your feelings as easy as possible and move on! Being with you his whole teenagae and early 20's....he prolley feels as if he missed out on alot. That doesn't mean he doesnt love you he just wants some time to see what's out there. Give him this time. Sorry but...........
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Although the only guy that answerd this was Carl, and Carl doesn't really bullshit around, said to trust it, I'm inclined to dissagree. What's this "space" bullstuff? That's a little contrived to me. Personally, I would propose to him that you lie to the state, and say that you are a single income household with no other occupant than your child and stay together and see how he takes it. I mean is that really the issue, or does he need to be away from you? If that's the case, why does he need to be away from you? That's not how to behave in a commited relationship. Anyway, I don't really think you have a choice, if the man wants to be away, or has other devious intentions, you can't hold him close, nor should you want to. Let him go, if things fall apart, they fall apart, but refusing to comply with the situation isn't going to make things better if he just wants to get away. *shrug* "If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you, its yours to keep." What else can you do?
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I may not be a brilliant economist..but where is the money saving? I dont see it, do you? If he moves out he needs to pay for his place, support your place, you ,and the baby! I could be wrong..did you talk about actual money figures? What exactly is the money thats being saved? If you and your bf have discussed it and you really are saving money, then ok...but still he shouldnt move out! You have a kid together and the kid needs to have his dad around. Plus, if he wants space tell him to go out 2 or 3 times a night after work or something. Why does he need a whole place to himself just to get away? Hmm he says "we're getting nowhere fast" but how does this crap help? Tell him how you feel and be persistant because this is your future and your child's future. You dont really want the state to support you do you?
-melissa
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It's a little complicated since there is a kid involved. If it was just the two of you, I would say that some time apart is a really good idea. It will make you both miss each other and want each other more.
But then again your situation reminds me a lot of my ex boyfriend. We first went to college together, and practically lived in the same room because we were always in each other's dorm rooms. Things started to wind down and he started to get a lot less affectionate. Eventually he wanted us to go to different colleges so we would not be together all the time.
Once we finally broke up, I realized that all the times that he wanted us to go to different colleges, he was really trying to make it easier on him so he could eventually end the relationship.
I have no idea if this is what your boyfriend is really up to, but if you are worried about it at all, then you need to sit down and have a long talk with him. No one on this site can really tell you whether or not he has some hidden agenda, it can only come from him.
It could very well be that your worrying about nothing and some time apart will actually be good for the two of you.
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you need to sit him down and say 'hey, we have a kid together and whether or not you think the flame is still burning, we have gotta stick this through for our child's own sake!" he'll get the message. good luck!
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I think you should trust him. But, first tell him how you feel. Ask him if this is just something thats gonna last for a while and then he'll leave you..Maybe you should get a job to speed up the saving money plan...Do this and if he doesnt call or doesnt visit you much there must be something up. But you should try it out and see what happens.
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