|
Jealousy
I'm hoping you can help me with my problem.
At school, I hang out with 3 girls. I've known one of them longer than the other two, but I've come to like them all equally. I believe you can have more than one best friend. Anyhow, one of the girls who I haven't known for as long is a little posessive. She has told me that she considers me to be her best friend and I know that's what she wants to hear from me. I always tell her that I have more than one, and I can tell she's disappointed, but hey, I can't lie. The problem is that whenever she finds out that my longtime friend and I did something without her, she gets all huffy about it. She tries to pretend she isn't mad but it's obvious. She'll be like "I can't believe you went to the movies without me!". Once my friend brought me to her dance class with her since it was bring-a-friend day or something corny-sounding like that, and she got all pissed that my friend hadn't brought her instead. It's gotten to the point where we have to hide things from her so that she doesn't dump her jealousy all over us, and it ruins our fun when we do have to confront her. Oh boy, I'm sorry this is so long but I really don't know how to deal with her attitude! Advice, please! :)
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Okay - first let me apologize if you asked this a few days ago; I've been away for the holidays, but am back now.
Onto the advice: I think you need to have a talk with this girl. I think it needs to happen on an occasion when just the two of you are out. Is there something the two of you love more than other people in the group, or a really fun day you could relive with her?
Take her out on her own, tell her how nice it is to be alone with her, and reassure her that she's very important to you. Explain, though, that you have a big heart and are capable of really caring about lots of people - let her know that just because other people are your best friends too doesn't make you value her friendship any less.
I'd try that first, as it's the least confrontational and is less likely to hurt anyone. Maybe have some of the other girls in your group do the same thing - and hope Jealous Girl gets the hint.
If her attitude continues being the same, then talking (once again) is the best idea. Don't gang up on her - sit her down alone with you and explain that her possessiveness is making you uncomfortable, and that her behaviour is making everyone walk on eggshells. If you point blank tell her that she's not behaving appropriately and she continues anyway, then it's up to you how to continue.
I tend to think she's probably a bit insecure - especially if you knew other people longer than you knew her. She probably just thinks you are fabulous, and she is worried that you don't feel the same. A little reassurance should do the trick.
]
More Questions: |