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Self-esteem Issues - sorry this is super long!!
My friends are a little jealous of me and don't even like to introduce me to their friends because their guy friends that they like might like me. This past week I was with my best friend and she finally started to go to college after a year off. She never really had many friends while growing up, just mainly me. Anyways, I spent a full week with her and she went to parties and everything. I was dragged along. I met people there and got along just fine with them. She got jealous. Then this guy she plays co-ed football with,we'll call him M, calls her one night to come over and see his new apartment so we went over there. After that, him and his roomies were awesome and wanted us both to come back again and just chill. She started having feelings for M and kinda figured he didnt like her back. So a couple days ago she got upset with one of M's roomies and her and M talked. She asked him if he liked me and he said I was very attractive and that he would have to get to know me better in order to say he liked me. Earlier that night he had given me his number just to hang out while my friend was going to a concert and I had nothing to do. She said to me that we were leaving and then she stormed outta the house.
Now what I wanna know is, is there anything I can do that this can stop? I mean, she is my best friend but whenever she likes a guy they always like her friends and it kills her. Her self-esteem lowers everytime this happens. Is there anything I can do about her self-esteem? Is there anything I can do to make these guys realize that my friend is a great girl and that she deserves a chance instead of her friends??
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i know how you feel, my friends wont introduce me to any of there guy friends because they think im gonna steal them. your friend needs to deal with the fact that you and M his it off. Gently tell her your sorry but you really like M. Ask M or some of your friends if they would be interested in you friend to make her feel better because it seems like she needs a man to make her feel good.
good luck
xo.<3 melanie
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Hi Sweetie,
Yes... self-esteem problems.I've always ben a misfit growing up... somehow people now like me a lot for that. I don't know, people are strange. What I'm saying is that I can relate to her. I had a fat friend who was very pretty because she was so confident... I guess people see that. I'm not trying to be conceidet or say I'm the skinniest girl in the world but I wasn't anything like her. She was fat but all giggly and joyful. I was the opposite. I was the "depressed" chick. I had very little self-esteem. Looks didn't matter. She got the hot guys and I got conceidet losers. That was then, but I've changed since then. I can now admit I'm not the crappiest thing in the world, l.o.l.
Back to your question. Well, she's not there yet like I am. She's in the paranoid stage where she thinks that a guy looking around and you in his way must mean he's looking at you because he's in love with you and he hates her. How can you stop this? Maybe what you can do is tell her she looks pretty. Be like: "your hair looks really nice today. Did you use a different shampoo?" Maybe even take her to get a manicure or something. This will help her realize you're her friend and she shouldn't feel threatened. What would be great is if you had a cute guy friend you could fix her up with.
Another thing. Be careful how you act around her. For instance, don't flirt with M right in front of her or anything. I know you don't, but I'm just trying to give an example. Anyway, nice of you to care enough of your friend to go through the trouble of asking the question.
My best wishes to you and her! Good night! ~Blessed Be...
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Well.... this is hard because she feels inferior to you because I guess your looks.. Maybe you should just give her some room and let her go to parties on her own so that she can make friends and guy friends too... If you over compliment your friend then it bothers them.. trust me.. my friend does that to me a lot so I tend to just tell her to leave me alone for awhile
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