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I am a 22 year old female, I have had two sexual partners. I don't find sex very fulfilling, and am low on the LUST. I have just broken up with my boyfriend and find that I am repulsed/ashamed/embarrassed when I think about our sex life. I hate thinking about it or talking about it and I don't want to see him because I feel disgusted and ashamed every time I look at him and I feel like he is probably thinking the same thing. What the hell is this?
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You said you don't find sex very fulfilling. You also said you are repulsed and ashamed of the sex you have had. That sounds like you have been doing things you don't want to do. This makes me wonder if you have ever been the victim of abuse. Were you abused as a young child? Or, were these relationships abusive in any way? Did your boyfriend pressure you to have sex when you didn't want to? Is there any chance that you just aren't sexually attracted to men?
In any case, I think it's very unusual for you to be so strongly disgusted and ashamed of your sex-life. This is a serious issue that can't really be fully explored in an advice column. It would be great if you could get some help from a therapist.
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That's sort of a strange situation you're in. I felt I should try to provide some insight since I'm one of the few people on here who's older than 15 (no offense some of them are smart enough). I too am 22. I'm having trouble imagining exactly what might be the problem. My only guess is maybe he made you did some things, certain positions or otherwise that you didn't want to do. There are some things that guys like to do that I'll never understand and that I personally find degrading and disgusting. I'm sure you can figure out to what I'm referring. If that's the sort of thing you two did, then I'd say You just need to try to push it out of your mind. I like to convince myself certain things never happened and surprisingly it works. I've had 3 partners before the guy I'm currently with, and not all of the time has been wonderful, some has been downright horrible, but its all good. Its life, everything is a learning experience. If for some reason you keep having thoughts of the two of you together then try to think of maybe one good time you were together that doesn't disgust you and keep that one in mind. I guess it also depends on how long you were together. Anyways enough said...my advice would be just to move on with your life...find a new guy...have amazing sex and enjoy it. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of. Don't stress and when you find the right guy and one who can really satisfy you, you'll find lust very quickly!!! Trust me, all it takes is the right guy and you won't be able to keep your hands of him. Take care and I hope I was of some help.
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i don't know, i'm almost half your age. i'm guessing guilt?
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uh....im a 13 year old i dont know if you wanna hear my answer but here it goes!i know that you regret tyour sex with him but your gonna have to deal.start a new reputation, sstart over!
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dont worry bout it just chillax give it sometimes it will eventually go away ;) most of the times when you break up wit ur partner and u dont relly like him no more then u'll feel disgusted...i think its normal...i think it happens to anyone..to one of mah best friends it has happend she hooked up wit this kid and now she cant stand him...dont worry just give it time it will go away...all i got to say try to avoid him so you will avoid being disgusted by him..xoxo effy hope i helped
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it's a mental assosiation (spelling?) of your past activities with him. ive had the same things with people ive had feelings for (not sexual) but felt a great dislike whenever i saw, thought about them. im not positive what it is exactly- but after a while it went away. it's different for each person, and sooner or later you'll never think about it again. just give it time and try to focus on something else. =] -ask_anything
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