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I want to help but I don't know how.
This is going to be long because I have to give a bit of background information to make you understand this better. I am 14 years old, a freshman in highschool and I have a great friend named Brian, aslo 14 and a freshman in highschool. When Brian was in 4th grade he had to get surgery on his... area (if you get where I'm going with this) The reason for the surgery was that one testical wasn't where it should be so basically they had to put it back in place. He had confided this secret in his best friend, so he thought. About a week later he found out that his "best friend" had told everyone about the surgery and that he had said to everyone that he had a tesical removed. From then on, he was known as uni- ball, one balled brian, rude, childish names like that. He has a somewhat feminine voice so his voice would make you think that he was gay. He isn't gay at all, he's completely straight and has had girlfriends in the past. On top of him being called uni-ball and whatnot, people started calling him, fag, homo, fudge packer... that kind of stuff. He got depressed and started cutting. We are now in 9th grade and he seems to be okay. Everything just mentioned is only what I know from him because he will not for the life of him go into detail about anything because he is too embarassed and will not trust anyone. When we started highschool the rumors started up again. Today in class we were assigned to get into our groups and I sat with him and asked him what was wrong. He was ready to break down and cry at that point. He was so upset that the rumors had started up again. Brian is a very nice guy, he's not gay and he is NOT missing a testical! Everyone is tourmenting him about it and I fear for him that he is going to start getting depressed again. I want to help him out and be there to comfort him but I don't know what to say to him, I obviously can't say I know how you feel because I don't. I just met him this year and he's one of my best friends. I'm very hurt by everything that is being said about him and I want to have the rumors stopped. With me, my friends come first no matter what. I want to help him out so bad, it hurts me to see him so upset. I gave him a hug and told him everything was going to be okay and he just broke down in tears because of everything that was going on. He can't trust anyone. I want to make him beleive that he can trust me and he can tell me anything! I understand that he's not able to trust people but I feel so horrible about everything that is going on. How can I help him? And how the hell can I make these terrible rumors stop because they are hurting one of my wonderful friends. I hate to see my friends in so much pain. Please help. Sorry this was so long.
Also... Please don't give smart ass remarks because this is a touchy subject.
I have no feelings for Brian in anyway like that because I have a boyfriend... that was for anyone who might have said why don't you go out with him.... or something stupid like that.
Thanks again.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well, if you ever hear someone spreading those rumors, you should tell them that they really shouldn't spread things that aren't true. it's hard to stand up to your peers and everything... but it's best. anyhow, he does trust you, he told you what was wrong, and you can't make him trust you i guess... just don't tell others what he tells you, and be there for him, there's not much more you can do, sorry chica, best of luck
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I've had two friends who were both made fun of because people thought they were gay.
My suggestion is that you make sure he is never alone at school. You and your friends/his friends should always surround him which will prevent him from hearing a lot of the rumors I think. If he's ever acting sad like that say, who cares what other people say, we know the truth and they aren't your friends anyway.
If you have any more questions, just ask, I'd be more hen happy to help. I know how hard it is, and how helpless it make you feel. You wish you could get everyone to stop and build a wall around the friend who gets made fun of.
Love,
Lauren
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People our age are mostly self-centered immature morons. You seem very mature for your age.
He needs to know that he shouldn't care about their opinions, which I'm sure he does and hearing that over and over would probably make him sad even if he realized it. I'm not sure there's much you can do. Most teenagers are immature, and you can't change them.
You seem like an exceptional person, and I think having you as one friend would be better than having all those people who started and sustain the rumor as friends.
I'll pray for Brian.
-Farren
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It's great that you care so much about your best friend. What you need to do is stand up for him. I'm not saying that he can't stand up for himself, just that maybe he has, and just can't get the message across on his own. When someone calls him a stupid nickname, say, "Oh, shutup! Are you really that immature to think stupid things like that?" Tell Brian that he is a great friend of yours and that he really shouldn't let the insults get to his head, because the teasers are just insecure assholes. Seriously, the people who tease him sound like real jerks. Another thing to say is, "Hey, why are you so obsessed with Brian's balls? Are you a pervert?" (That might be a little awkward, so you don't have to say it. If your friend wants to say something like that, he can, except he should say it in first person, duh.) Give Brian more hugs and try to always be there for him. One thing for Brian to remember: Showing that the teasing hurts only eggs them on. They love to see that people are being affected by their insults. Also, he definately shouldn't cut. He knows what's true and maybe he should just laugh at how ridiculous the assholes are being. I seriously would be all, "Wow, those rumors are so old, and you still believe them?" if I were in his position. Hope I helped! I hope Brian feels better! He is so lucky to have a friend as sweet as you:)
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well i also believe people saying that is just immature..they dont know him so they shouldnt be talking about him like that. what you need to do is set everyone str8. just tell them until they have proof to shut up and quit being mindless idiots. honestly tho you cant do much..people will do what they want..just let brian know he is a good no great guy and no one should deserve to be treated that way..i would say have him ignore them..but its not that easy..just tell him to say stuff back..make a joke out of it even tho it isnt..like if they say "hey uni-ball" tell him to say "lick it" or somthing that way he doesnt feel inferior..sorry i wasnt much help.
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