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love my best friend
hey well....my ex boyfriend and me were best friends b4 we went out...(the entire reason i didnt wanna date him) but now that we broke up after almost a year of dating every time i read something about relationships being torn apart i break down and cry...but now that he broke up with me ive started to cut myself and go into deep depressions...i want him bak bc when i was with him...there was never a time when i wasnt happy...he could make me smile no matter how sad i was...he might have made a few mistakes but so have i...i juss want him to b happy but i also juss want him to say that in order for him to b happy he needs to b with me...i also started smokking when he broke up with me...idk what to do...my life is going to hell since he broke up with me...idk waht to do...i want him bak but i want him to b happy...
signed ~*lost...
P.S.- y cant i b happy???
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I had my first love last year, it's a tough time.. We were friends at first then grew to more than that. It will be a tough road ahead. Talk to people about how you feel, don't keep things locked up inside of you, because if something happens then it will all blow way out of proportion. Cutting yourself and smoking wont resolve anything, you're begging for attention. I think you need to go to a counselor and get things straightened out, or better yet, talk to him about how you feel and how close you two were before this all happened and what it meant to you. You can't force him to be with you, and I don't expect you to force him. But I respect what you said about how you want him to be happy, because he does need to be. You have to think about waht he wants now. It will be a long road ahead before you get over him, but I promise you, you will never forget him. Keep youre head up. Stop the cutting and quit the smoking, it will only make things worse. Tell him how you feel, alone.
Hope I helped.
Emi*
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...I can relate.After my ex-boyfriend dumped me, I cut myself,stopped eating, and ended up in the hospital 'cause of that.I wanted the same things you do. I wanted him back,wanted to be happy, and I wanted him to be happy. I told him that, and he said he couldn't be happy if all I did was hurt myself. We're just really good friends now. So, do you really think he'll be happy if you cut yourself and continue smoking? I don't think so. Just because a relationship is broken up, doesn't mean that they don't care about you anymore. And I can understand how hard it is to let someone you really love go. That's one of the hardest things in life. Tell him how you feel, and if he just doesn't feel the same way about you, then just let it go.It'll be hard, but you have to. And you can't be happy because you're not letting yourself be happy. You're cutting yourself, crying over him, and smoking. Doing those things, will NOT make you happy. You'll get over it eventually, just hang out with your friends a lot more, and have fun. Hope I helped!
-tori
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One of the hardest things in life to do is to let go of something you love. You feel like now you have this emptiness inside you that will just take you over if it isn't filled back in. You have to do something, but you don't know what. That's why you've turned to smoking and to hurting yourself. Sweetheart, I've been there. Let me tell you, it's not the way. I've been with friends that have been there. This is not the way.
One phrase that a very wise man told me when I was going through some tough times was 'This too... will pass'. What it means, is that this pain, this depression, this emptiness... all of these horrible things... they are temporary. It's agonizing, I know. But, there are certain things that you can't take back. Things that will become permanent scars. And not just from the cutting. Your heart can scar too. But that's just if you don't let it heal in the right way.
What you need to do, is surround yourself with people who care about you. Your family and friends. Talk to them, find a shoulder to cry on. Don't keep this all to yourself. Remember, 'this too, will pass'. No, not soon. It's going to hurt, probably for a long time. But don't go through it alone. You are allowed to grieve. And that's healthy, if you stay healthy doing it.
Try to remember the good things about the relationship. Embrace those good things. Don't let this pain turn into a resentment for you, or him. Yes, it's sad that it had to end, but, part of loving someone is doing what you need to do to let them be happy. So, be strong. I'm sure knowing that you were causing yourself harm wouldn't make him happy. Find someone you can talk to. Cry when you need to. Remember, this too, will pass. Things will get better.
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Hi Sweetie,
Well I've experienced similar things. (The cutting.) Your happiness question is best to be answered with a therapist. If you don't have a therapist maybe you should be seeing one. Although theraphy doesn't work for everyone (you have to cooaporate) it may help. About your exboyfriend... does he know you may still be in love with him? (I'm sorry if I'm over assuming but this sounds like love to me) ...Although it is dangerous for one person to have such power over you the way this ex does (...since you're only happy with him) ...Maybe you should take this time to be alone and evaluate your true self. You may not be able to fully understand whats really going on with all of your emotions in one night... I'm still learning things about myself and why I mess up. I really can't help you... you have to have a will. It takes courage to find it. I hope however you only get better rather than worst and that someone if not I has been a help to you. And you may want to consider a therapist or councler... Blessed Be...
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unfortunately you can't change the way a person thinks or feels. if your boyfriend broke up with you and you know that he doesn't want to get back together then you have to learn to accept the fact that things are over and move on. it's a harsh reality but it's true. i know that your going through a very hard time because ironically enough i've been through a similiar situation myself. it took months for me to realize that things were really over and that i would never be able to look him in the eyes and tell him i love him with all my heart ever again. it's rough for any girl to tackle but it can be done and i know this for a fact because it happened to me. staying strong and keeping a positive attitude will help a ton. make sure to keep your friends and family extra close, letting them know the situation that your in so they could offer some comfort and compassion. take up some after school activities or go to the gym a few days a week. keep yourself occupied and your mind off the situation and eventually you'll notice that each and every day you'll forget about your ex a little more. stay strong and don't turn to inflicting pain upon yourself because it will only make the situation worse than it already is. best of luck.
xoxo
//hannah
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k the first thing i have to say is cutting yourself and smoking is totally not the answer to your problems! i mean see if he still likes u, be friends again, tlk to him, u knw i mean trust me if u rnt together right now maybe hes not the one 4 u, and tht means tht theres someone out there who is gunna rock your world and be better than your ex did! soo u knw just stop cutin, stop smokin and just hang with your friends, maybe go to some clubs and meet some guys or somethin.
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i feel the same way. im in the same situation except hes not my best friend, we hardly get to talk anymore. so maybe we can help each other. leave me a message or IM me. miZZcHeRRyCoKe36 or ilive4summer63. ~steph~
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First, you need to stop cutting and smoking.. it's not worth it over a guy. If he found out you're doing that he would probably be very upset and sad and thinking that it's all his fault. You need to stop thinking about it and get out and have some fun! Go out with friends and go see a movie or something. Just don't think about him. Soon you'll start to get over him and then you can be friends again. Or if that doesn't work for you just tell him how you feel and how you still like him, but that can sometimes end up in him avoiding you because he wouldn't feel the same way. Anyways just try to get out and have fun and get over him.. but you really should stop cutting and smoking.. what you're doing is just making things worse. Hope I helped! Leave me one if I can do anything for you! =c)
Love, RacheL
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