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Love husband but hate sex
I'm concerned about my relationship with my husband. He is a fabulous guy and I deeply, deeply love him. I just don't want any kind of physical relationship. That doesn't mean I want a physical relationship with someone else - I don't. I just enjoy our time together and his support and friendship. What's wrong with me??
I'm 40 and have been married to him for 16 years.
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I really dont think theres anything wrong with you, but then again, im only 16 and never been married. Be honest with him and tell him why you dont want a physical relationship. Maybe he'll understand. Good luck!
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I really don't know your past, and if anything has happened to you to turn you off of sex. Maybe your relationship has just gotten dull. Talk to your husband about it, see if he's noticed. And consider seeing a sex therapist or relationship therapist, if you are both willing to invest the time and effort.
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hey! if you've been married to him for 16 years, he should be able to understand the fact that you dont like sex that much or at all. however, some men need physical relationships with the one they love. maybe you two should make a compromise and talk about how you feel and hope he understands, i'm sure he will. maybe you guys can try havibng different kind of sex or physical contact and maybe not do it as often. hope i helped and good luck with your husband! peace and love
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Hey...there's nothing wrong with you..its just your past the whole physical part of the relationship..its nothing bad...just tell your husband about how you feel...he should understand, and respect your wishes...just talk to him about it..you naw mean?
--PinoyBoi
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First off, it's great that you love your husband and are committed to him. If you still feel that way even after 16 years that even more great. It's often times that women or even sometimes men lose interest in thier companion sexually. Especially as we grow, learm, experience, and age we just need that special someone to fufill our mental needs not really physical. So I don't think anything is TOTALLY wrong with you. But on the same hand, there needs to be some kind of physical attraction and chemistry to keep things going. Although, with that said, if both parties are not looking for a sexualaspect to a relationship, then I'd say you don't have any problem at all and you two should continue going about being each others support system. But by the way you wrote your question, I get the impression the lack of sexual interest is mainly on your part solely. You need to ask yourself a few questions:
-Is it because you are feeling unattractive about being 40 and feel as if he would not find you desireable?
-Did something happen to you in the past sexualally (by anyone) that has turned you away from sexual life?
-Is there some huge burden looming over you causing you from wanting to be romantic and sexual?
If these are true for any of you, I'd say you need to fix them as soon as possible.
Communication is key. Even though it may be hard, you need to talk these things out with your husband. **Even if none of the abovem entioned things are the reason why. That's not fair to him if he is interested in the sex. Talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. Also, another resoswrt would be to seek marriage counseling to further get to the bottom of it. Or, you could just see a shrink on your own. But the most important thing is to tell your husband exactly what going on so he doesn't feel clueless. Tell him both positive and negatives. Positiveb eing that you love the time together and etc. Negative being why you don't want sex. Try at least one of my suggestions to hopefully get through this. Best of luck! :)
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If you have always felt this way, then I would say that you are either: 1) a lesbian, 2) not really in love with this guy.
I think there are a lot of different sorts of love; this includes deep, committed love...but it's just not romantic. Sex is a part of love, and if there is no attraction, then one has to wonder why.
If you have been attracted to him in the past and just not recently, have you considered that you are approaching menopause? Changing hormons can wreak havoc with your libido - as can high levels of stress, new medication (or a changed dosage), etc.
If you or your husband are not happy about the no sex situation, something needs to be done. A first step could be medical - if you believe you are heterosexual, then you'll want your doctor to test your level of hormones in your blood, evaluate your overall health, etc. It's possible there might be a medical culprit - or equally possible that you two may need to undergo counselling.
At the very least, keep an open mind and heart. I wish you the best.
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