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3rd dregree heart block...
ok well today i found out that my best friend has a third degree heartblock and soon will most likely need a pacer...all her life tho her doctor has been telling her she had a "heart murmur" but wut it realli was, was the echo from her heart not workin right..n me, her, her sister n her parents r havin a realli hard time trying not to cry n stuff bcuz eventually it can kill her...im realli upset cuz shes like a sister to me weve been neighbors/bestest friends ever since i can remember n have done everything..well my questions r
Can this kill her netime soon?
How can me n her sister help her get thru it?
And can her mom sue her doctor for telling her tha wrong information all these years??
Thanx ill rate u a 5~!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Health?
First off; and I am sure that her parents are already doing this. She needs a good cardiologist. If she is under the age of 18 there are many different programs for children with special medical needs. There is the United Way, Children Services, etc. Her parents can look into that. Also, hospitals cannot refuse emergency medical services because the family cannot afford to pay. This is America and we have laws that protect ill people and especially children. So, don't worry about that they cannot let her die because she cannot afford needed medical attention.
Anyway, the first step is to find a cardiologist. Then when she gets a disgnosis get a second opinion. She needs to talk about now, talk about later down the road. There are many things that can be done. One of which just may be a pace maker. Others can be minor to major depending on what the doctors say she needs. My father had to have a heart transplant so these things can be handled. But, it is a lot for a young girl to go through.
Here is what she needs from you. 1~For you "not" to treat her any different than you did before. If you joked, argued and such then by all means that needs to stay the same. It is very important that you don't treat her like she is fragile or an invalid. So many things are going on in her body and with her emotions right now she feels like everything is turned upside down and nothing will ever be the same. You have to be that thing in her life that doesn't change. Just be who you were with her before you found out. 2~She doesn't need to talk about it all the time. Be there when she needs to but let her brng it up. There are going to be times that she doesn't want to think about it and she would just rather talk about music or Homecoming than her illness. She needs to be a normal teenager despite her illness. She will have limitations but those can be worked around and for her to be made to feel that nothing is changed and she is the same person that she always was. 3~She doesn't need your pity. She needs you to be her friend. Where I know this is extremely upsetting for you, she is not the person you need to cry on her shoulder. You have a mother to do that with. You can tell her that it hurts that she is sick and you feel helpless but she doesn't need you to be blubbering all the time. A large percent of success in any illness depends on the attitude of the patient and the support system they have behind her. She will spend enough time feeling sorry for herself she doesn't need you to help. She needs you to help her out of her depression not add to it.
These are the things that she will need from you. There will be things that she can't do and that you can. There will be some resentment and jealousy. A friend of mine had open heart surgery in our Junior year right before prom. She was horribly upset that she couldn't go but she had only been home from the hospital for a week when it happened. She was irritable and hateful at times. I made a huge mistake of doing as she asked and brought my dress over for her to see. I didn't think that it would hurt her but it did. A teacher and a wonderful person explained to me and our friends why she was so upset. She wasn't upset or angry with us but at her situation and she was jealous that she couldn't go when we had all made plans for it.
We got together and decided that we weren't going to go. Our dates were very angry with us so we formed a compromise. We bypassed dinner at the restaurant and we decided to go for the last hour and a half of the dance since she needed a lot of rest after her surgery. We started earlier than we had planned and we talked with her mother. We all, including the date she was to go with, showed up at her house an hour before we had originally planned on going to the restaurant and we took foods that was on her diet. With her mother's help we had a very nice dinner with her in a new and very pretty dressing gown right there in her livingroom. We had the Sophomore Rally come over and serve us just like we were at a restaurant. Then we played music and she even got a slow dance with her boyfriend. When it came time to leave she was tired and extremely emotional that we had surprised her with all of this. Her date stayed with her and the rest of us went to the dance. When the pictures all came back those that we had taken at her house were the ones that meant the most to all of us.
Since then she has had several more surgeries and she is much better now. She still has her limitations but has a wonderful career as a clothing designer. She is a wonderful person and that was the best time I ever had at a school dance.
You see, when we can't change the situations that come up in our lives, we simply change life to suit us. We have all the power as long as we never give in to the things we can't control and control what we can. In the end we can work it out with patience and love. And in those times when we feel that we are doing something for someone else we find that we get even more out of it than they do.
Just be the friend that you have alwasy been to her and don't let that change. When she can't go to the mountain take the mountain to her. That in the end is what love and friendship is all about. Not pity, life is to hard as it is to waste our time handing out pity. Make things better not worse.
As for suing the doctor her parents would need to see a personal injury attorney that specializes in malpractice. Your local Chamber of Commerce should be able to give you a list of attorneys in your area. Usually the first visit is free and then they will work on a contingency basis if they believe that you have a case.
Best of luck to you all... I would like to hear how things turn out...:)
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Hey Sweetie! I am so sorry to hear about your best friend! You must care so much for her, and it will be very difficult for you to lose her so it's a good thing you want to help her!
You can't help her medical problems. It's hard to let this happen to her. She needs you to stick by her and keep being her friend. It would be best to keep doing the things you used to do with her. Because she may feel like people are acting differently around her because of this thrid degree heartblock. If she ever wants to talk about her problem, always be there to listen. Calm her down when she needs it, and cry with her and let her know you are just as nervous. I noticed that you said it's really hard for everyone not to cry. But holding it in will cause a good amount of stress, so by all means cry if you have to. And for her sake, try to talk to her about it when you think she needs it. Spend as much time as you have before with her, don't make her think that just because she has this it will change your friendship. It's hard to act like nothing is wrong, but in this case she probably wants to do the things you guys used to do.
As for the third degree heartblock it is possible she can be dead soon. Your body needs the heart to function properly and when anything goes wrong, it can cause major problems and the body will eventually shut down if it's not fixed. The fact that they can't afford a pacer is not very helpful. Maybe you can help her out. Raise money somehow. If you need tips on that let me know! Anyways, yes she can die because she needs that pacer to live. Medical insurance should cover that though. Because in a complete heartblock your heart skips beats the pacemaker is very important. So it would save your friends life.
Yes, you can sue the doctor that told her it wasn't a heartblock. He/she should have been able to detect and read that was a heartblock through a heart test. It's very easy for a doctor to know when there is a heartblock. And it is part of their job to know all about results from test and tell you the right information. So bring that up with her family. It may help them out with money.
I hope that I helped somewhat. I know you much have tons of thoughts going through your mind. But be strong hunnie! There is hope, and if you get other people involved to help save money for that pacer it can save your friends life! If you ever need to talk or have more questions please ask me! Love ya!
Love,
Mandee
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Oh. well you cant really sue the doc. cusz he didnt kno iits not hisz fault.that happnes a lot , he prob didnt catch iit in time . iic ant really help u wid anythinq else cusz ii dunno what a heart murmur isz (my aunt has it to . so IM me in like a day or two and ill tell u more)
AIM: MiSz x3 PiinK
x` O
AriiElLA*
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omg, i am so sorry to hear that. that is so sad, it made me want to cry. i am not a docter or anything so i can't tell u if it will kill her netime soon, i sure hope not tho. u and her sister can help by making her feel more comfortable with the situation, and by telling her how much u luv and care about her and how she will get thru it. and for her mom, get a new doc. and if i was her i would go to court. i really hope i helped.
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It depends on how bad it is. If it's horrible then chances are high, but if its not that bad, don't count on it. You and her sister should just be there to comfort her and tell her how she's gonna make it through. And no, I don't think her mom can sue, because maybe the doctor wasn't quite sure and maybe he was appoximating on what he figured it was. Give it a chance. Maybe everything will change.
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