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Ebo
Okay I really don't know how great of a question this is...or whatever...but I just really need help...
You see...I have social anxiety disorder...this thing is so hard to live with it's not even funny...that's just PART OF my problem...
I have been in love with someone named Orlando for about a year...but he doesn't know who I am and I'm completely sure it was/is love. Well, recently I found out he had a girlfriend and it broke my heart...
But...the thing is...I don't dwell on it as much as I thought I would...I still really like Orlando...more then I've ever liked any other guy before...but my LOVE for him is actually starting to slowly die down for him and I'm slowly starting to let him go...
Well...there is this boy...lets call him "EBO"...well... in 6th grade I knew Ebo and I never actually TALKED to him in person becuase of my social anxiety disorder...but i went to the movies with him adn some of my other friends often...well he was always really nice but I never really liked him or anything...
But...the summer AFTER 6th grade I tranferred schools and now Im going to high school in 3 months and I talked to Ebo a few times online and we had a long talk and we never opened up to each other that much and he said "I wish I could hug you" and "if you feel you need to say something I'm listening" and then about a month and a half later he just randomly said he missed me and about a month before he said he missed me is when I realized I really liked Ebo...I mean the boy is so sweet and caring.
When he said these kind of things (and they may not seem like a big deal) but it came as a shock to me and it made me get butterflies and it just came as a surprise because when I knew him he was never one to just come out and say things like that...and I really like him but as I was saying before I have social anxiety disorder...and I never spoke to him in personm before and I only talk to him online and I havent seen him for a year and supposedly he's changed a lot with his looks... (looks dont matter to mjeO but now a lot of girls want him and I'm just scared because he would probably think Im weird if I told him I liked him and I know he's not worth it if he thinks Im weird and he would never say anything mean to me (i know that for a fact) but Im just scared it would make things awkward and if I DID tell him we would never be able to go out with him because I probably wouldn't talk to him at all and I can't help that...and omg I really liek this kid what do I do??
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I think you have made an excellent first step with this guy. He seems very caring if nothing else. I second the motion to invite him and several of your friends to some other group things. It will help you get used to talking in person. Eventually, you will want to spend some time exclusively with him. Don't rush it. I know its really hard sometimes just to go out and do things. I have this problem too, but I usually feel better once I am already in the situation. You might reasearch some things you want to talk about. Have an imaginary conversation with your mirror. You won't have to do this for long as you spend more time with him. Take a deep breath and dive in.
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Try your best to spend more time with him. You know he likes you as a friend at least. Invite him to more social gatherings. The more time you spend with him the less nervous you'll get. And I think your right, he would never do anything to hurt you or be mean to you. You only open up to people you love, (At least like a friend). So try to spend time with him, and then tell him how you feel. i know it will be hard with SAD, so I wish you luck
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If you tell him you like him, you're already talking, you realize. =)
If you really like this kid, you have to open up and talk to him. I know that's hard because of your SAD, but you have to try. He missed you, and he was ready to hear you say you liked him. That's what the "if you feel you need to say something..." implies.
Go for it. It might not make things awkward. Good luck!
-Siren
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