|
unitarian universalist church
my parents make me go to church, even though they know i don't believe in organized religon. we go to a unitarian universalist church but even though it's a very open type of place i still don't like it. i think i could be doing much better things with my time, like clipping my toenails or doing my homework. they claim that it's "family time." how sitting in an uncomfortable pew listening to a reverend is family time, i dont know. How can i get them to understand that this whole "going to church" thing does NOTHING for me??
thanks,
~heart.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
i have the same view on organized religion as you do. My parents were always cool about because there not big in to religion. But have you ever thought that the "family time" reason they gave you wasn't really the reason they wanted you to go? Maybe they want you to keep going because it might look "bad" to other family's if you weren't with them. Or maybe there concerned about your "fate" with god, and that you wont get into heaven, or whatever your church believes. Or maybe they think its teaching you "morals", and you'd go down a bad path if you didn't go to church.
I don't know, i find religion to be weird, and i really don't agree with a lot they say. But i do get how peoples minds work, and most people believe in a religion because it gives them some sort of comfort.
All you can do is really explain to your parents that you'll be the same person, with or without religion, and they should let you have your own opinions because open mindedness is a value in todays world.
And if they still resist, you can always just zone out, and ignore the pastor or whatever. And use that time to meditate on things going on in your life. Sometimes some thinking time is kind of refreshing. And theres always daydreaming!
good luck!
]
If your parents insist that it is "family time" that they want and nothing else, then offer to spend some time with them doing something else at least as frequently as you would normally go to church.
Find something that you all enjoy to do together. It can be anything. For example, playing sports, visiting museums, watching movies, even just sitting around and chatting.
The trick is to find something that you all like. If you can't find something that everyone likes, then you should see their point in that family time for the sake of family time involves compromises.
Chances are that you'll also find out that they do want you to learn something from going to church. Remember that even if it doesn't do anything for you, church obviously means something to your parents. Pay attention. Discuss the messages with your parents afterwards. Get to know it well. You'll become better equipped to convince your parents why you don't want to go to church, and you'll also gain a better understanding to why it's so important to your parents.
]
I agree with you on your point of view about what you could be doing with your time.
However, I believe that your parents are sincere in feeling it is family time. Just because you don't want to see it that way doesn't mean that many others don't.
It does nothing for you because you are looking at the picture wrong: See, it does something for your parents that you spend that time with them, and if you saw it in that sort of light, perhaps at least doing something that makes them feel good will do something for you. You can always use the time to wool gather, or think deep thoughts of some sort.
It doesn't hurt to do things you don't like in order to please your parents now and then. I promise that one day you'll realize how much they gave up, or how many times they did that they didn't want in order to please you all these years. Its not a bad thing to do that for people, because you do those things out of love.
Make sense?
Try to see it in a positive view, ok?
I'm sure you know they are worth suffering through church for. ;-)
31/f
]
I know you might not like this answer, but I will have to agree with your parents. You may not be into religion or church or whatever, I'm not big into it, I don't go to church. I am into studying my own thing and finding my own way...but quality time is irreplacable. My mom used to make me sit and watch boring movies with here and watch oprah haha which I didn't used to like...but it was quality time, my cousin didn't get that. She was always in her room doing her own thing and her mom doing her own thing and on the phone. She grew up to pretty much hate her mom and hate being with her, where as me and my mom have a closer relationship than ever. You may not see it now but you will see it maybe after college. When you are like 23 or 25 or maybe not even until you are 30. They are not here forever and they will not always be at your disposal, so the time you can have together you should enjoy. My mom lost her mom just when they were starting to get close. That was really hard on her, and as silly as it sounds if they had done things like watch boring "old people" movies together, or went to chruch together and maybe had lunch or ice cream after, then she would not have had to regret not having time with her. So when you go, try to look at it in a different light...more like I am going to spend quality time with my parents and not so much they are forcing religion down my throat. You don't have to believe it, just go to be with them and be with your family. I could go on about all the people that wish they could go to church with their families instead of what is going on in their life with the war and all the other stuff...but I'm sure you get the point. :)
]
More Questions:<<< Previous Question
| Next Question >>> Alicia
|
|