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Why do I care what they think?
I'm working temporarily at a pizza restaurant until I can find something better. I used to work at a grocery store, but quit after we went on strike, because I was unhappy there and didn't like the way the strike was settled. Anyway, the people seem friendly enough on the surface, but I'm a cashier there, and I don't do as much work as them. Not because I don't want to, but the manager wants me to stay primarily up front, and he won't let me make the pizzas yet even though I know I could do it. I've worked for the same chain about ten years ago. I'm the only white person there besides one of the drivers. Most of my co-workers are hispanic and don't speak that much english, so that may be why they don't talk to me much. I don't know if it's just my own insecurity, but it seems like if I ask for help with something, or I make a minor mistake, they are resentful that they have to help me. I think I'm doing a pretty good job, but nobody's perfect. I keep imagining they are thinking "I can't believe she did that, " and talking about me behind my back. I sometimes feel like I'm back in high school when I'm there. There is one woman who is friendly with me. She speaks good english, and does cashier work too, but she also makes pizzas. I sometimes think she is resenting me too. I try my best to be friendly to everyone, I've been there about a month, but I still feel tension between me and them. My mom says not to worry about them. I'm not going to stay there long anyway. But it bothers me because I know I'm a nice person, and I don't like being pre-judged by anyone. I know this is part of life, but it just makes me uncomfortable. I sometimes see some of them giving me funny looks like they think I'm weird or dumb, or something. I used to get picked on a lot in school, so I think that is why I'm so sensitive. Can anyone give me advice on how I can not let what they may or may not be thinking bother me? Does anyone think I'm imagining this? I feel like I'm the "new person" in their eyes, and to them I'm an "intruder" in their little "clique". I know that sounds dumb, but that is how it feels. Can anyone relate?
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Have you ever tried to strike up conversation with them about non-work related things? Maybe they just fear the unknown. I doubt you are imagining this, but you may be thinking so much on it that it is making the situation much worse for you. Do your best at work. If you think all day about what they think of you, you are bound to mess up while working and then they might have a reason to dislike you. It may simply be that they mistrust new people or that they arent sure how to act around you.
After some more time has passed and if you have still not been offered an actual pizza making opportunity that you feel you deserve then you should talk to your boss. They may feel you need to work upfront for a certain amount of time before you can make pizzas or something to that effect. Talk to your boss and find out what the requirements are for being allowed to make pizza.
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I remember you. You were worried about starting this job. It seems to me you have a very low self esteam. You are worried everyone is pre-judging you, but I think you are pre-judging them. You automaticaly assume people are judging you and are paroniod anytime someone looks at you. Don't worry about what they are thinking. If your a nice person, that is what they will see. If you keep worring that you are not good enough, that is what you will come to beleive. Be confident in yourself, stop worring so much. Relax and enjoy life!
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It must be really hard for you. I know it would be for me. Alot of people picked on me too in school. You just have to kill them with kindness. It is hard work but it is worth the while. If you are not staying there long then just put on your best face for a while. If you feel that there is tension between you and a co-worker you better mension something to your boss if anyhting esclates. The last thing you want is to get in a fight and be fired. I know that it is really hard and you are probably in the deepest dumps right now, but you just need to talk to people about the problem. It may also help if you write things down about your day. For example keeping a journal maybe not everyday, just when you need some one to talk to. I check my mail everyday so if you think it helps by talking to me or others that is ok. I hope my advice helps you and cheerup everyhting will be ok!
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