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I'm working on a song. So far I have only the basic outline of the lyrics which need serious help. Here they are:
If I had to die right now
I'd die in your arms.
If I was crying right now,
you'd be near.
You mean so much to me,
I love you more than anything
right now.
You are my all in all,
I want you here beside me.
Your smile can dry my tears
Take away my deepest fears.
I love you more than anything right now.
I know I haven't known you long,
I hardly know a thing about you.
I know if I had to die right now,
I'd die in your arms.
I love you more than anything
right at this moment now.
Now I don't have a lot to give you,
I hope you'll understand.
And you don't have to give me jewels
I love you more without them.
I love you more than anything
dying in your arms.
It's called In Your Arms.
[ ] Want to answer more questions in the Hobbies category? Maybe give some free advice about: Music?
that's good good good! i write songs, too.......lol...well thats good keep writing it....
--katie-- ]
it was ok but you cant ryme, now with now that many time. you also need to find a ryming patern. I hope your song writting go's well. ]
It's totally good! I really like I wish I could listen to it with music I bet it would be even beeter!
sincerely
advice~gurl
kat ]
Oddly, it reminds me of My Immortal. But point out where you'd want help and I'll help ya. ]
I think its all right. But I need to hear it, but the wrod seem really deep. ]
Its sounds like a good start, but one can never really apprase a song on lyrics alone. I'm not sure I like the repetion of 'I love you more than anything, dying in your arms.' ]
I think it is perfect and who ever you are writing it for will like it ]
maybe if it was like this but you dont have to use it here it goes:
"If I had to die right now
I'd die in your arms.
If I was crying right now,
you'd be near.
You mean so much to me,
I love you more than anything
right now. ((2 times))
You are my all in all,
I want you here beside me.
Your smile can dry my tears
Take away my deepest fears.
I love you more than anything right now.
I know I haven't known you long,
I hardly know a thing about you.
I know if I had to die right now,
I'd die in your arms.
I love you more than anything
right at this moment now.
Now I don't have a lot to give you,
I hope you'll understand.
And you don't have to give me jewels
I love you more without them.
I love you more than anything
dying in your arms.
If I had to die right now
I'd die in your arms.
If I was crying right now,
you'd be near.
You mean so much to me,
I love you more than anything
right now. ((2 times))
I know I don’t know you much
But I love you too much and
If I live without you it would be
T o u g h
I know I love you but I can’t live without you
I would die in your arms and I will be
With you f o r e v e r
I love you----------------------."
see if you like it. i write songs all the time! ]
I know I haven't known you long,
I hardly know a thing about you.
I know if I had to die right now,
I'd die in your arms.
I love you more than anything
right at this moment now.
well it talks about not knowing long then randomly switches to the dying verse. then--
I love you more without them.
I love you more than anything
dying in your arms.
before that it said IF I HAD TO DIE now you're saying you ARE DYING. you might wanna change that a little so the tenses or whatever are the same. the rest is really good though. i appluad. just hope sumone doesnt steal your work from the computer. cuz without a copyright they can just take those words and make them theirs. you should mention that they belong to you or usmthing before putting your songs on here next time. *thank you for your time*~luckiedice~ ]
Well its sort of hard to tell because I dont know the tune, but its okay.
-shay :-) ]
Hey, the line where it says "you are my all in all" just say
you are my all,
my only one
Hey its good a little work and it could be great this is going to be sang as a ballet right?> ]
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