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antisocialness
I'm not really a social person, even though I do like having friends. The problem is that sometimes they call me up and I just don't feel like going out, and they get all insulted about the fact that I'd rather curl up with a book than party with them. I have a lot more "me" time than the average person, and I like it that way, but they don't get it. I've lied to them about other stuff going on but feel bad about that. How can I tell them I'm not in a going out mood without hurting their feelings?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Maybe you don't know the feeling. You should go out more, instead of hanging out at home. Too much alone time is bad for you!
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I used to feel like that when I was in middle/high school. Whenever I felt like saying no would hurt somebody's feelings, I'd say my dad wanted me to stay in that day, or do some chores, or focus on my grades. Even better is when you can get your parents in on it, and have your friend hear your parents say they want you home, and you say "come on dad, please?"
The thing about turning people down for plans most of the time is that eventually they're going to stop calling. Definitly you can say no once in a while, if you make a compromise more often than not (going out during the day but home early, making plans for the day after) the invitations will keep coming in.
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ok just tell them how you feel about this like say "I don't really feel like going out to night because i've had a bad day or i wanna finish a book" or anything like that. and maybe they will understand.
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I have this problem and I usually tell them that I have homework to do or that I can't get a lift out.
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Counter with another date you can plan to be in the mood to go out.
If you are a regular scheduler, then they will figure out that Every Third Tuesday is good time to ask you.
If you are unpredictable (as you understand yourself here), then they will just have to figure to keep trying with you.
An outright turndown will eventually leave you with few to no invitations from them.
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