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driving me nuts
He throws a fit if you tell him no ice cream any hints. The mom does nothing cause he does the same thing every time i go over and the only way to get him to stop throwing a fit is to tell him he can have some but it doesnt feel right . Help me!
Stressed out babysitter
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Hello!
The first thing you have to keep in mind is you have to be patient with him. Something that I learned in a class that I took was the time out step, or stool, chair whatever you want to use. Whenever he gets into a tantrum you carry him right to the timeout step, every time he tries to run away just keep carrying him to the timeout step until he understands that you want him to sit there (In the process of carrying him back and forth make sure you don't say ANYTHING to him, and avoid eye contact. This will tell him that you're not going to give in). The timeout should only be five minutes, after five minutes don't let him go until he says sorry to you, while looking at you in the eye, afterwards give him an award. One thing that I forgot to mention while you're in the process of carrying him back and forth, if he starts kicking, or trying to pull away resist, ignore it. Anyways I hope this technique will help you.
Best wishes
-Swimmer133
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I grew up at a daycare from 18 months up until I turned 12. Out of my experience, I would tell you to either A) tell him no and let him have a fit B) give him a time out C) try to get his mind off it by playing a movie or doing something to keep his mind off things until he falls asleep.
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Firstly, ask the mother if you have permission to use certain punishments such as corner time, or time-outs. These are quite simple, and I am sure you probably had some as a child. However, I would never ever advise or condone physical punishment, ESPECIALLY if it isn't your child. The key is to stay calm. For example:
Joey: I WANT ICE CREAM NOW!
You: Joey, you cannot have any ice cream tonight. You will not want to go to sleep.
Joey: YOU ARE NOT MY MOM! I WANT ICE CREAM!
You: Please do not talk to me like that. If you keep this up, I may have to give you a time out.
His fit will most likely continue, but act like it doesn't phase you. And have him stand in the corner if need be. Start of with 4 or 5 minutes, depending on age. If he is older, say 8 or 9, you can move to 10 minutes. But remember that time moves especially slow for kids! lol
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Honestly, your job is to do what his parents ask you too. If they are okay with him getting ice-cream, than give him ice-cream and don't worry about it.
If they don't want to you to give him ice-cream, than don't give him ice-cream. Tell him it's his parent's rule, and mellow while he freaks out. As long as he isn't hurting himself or anyone else, he can have a fit if he wants too. I promise you, you have more patience than he does. He'll tire himself out eventually, and then you can offer a distraction. Really small children don't need to be punished for being unhappy - unless they have hurt someone else, or broken other rules during their fit. If he keeps on having a fit until his parents get home, good, that's a good opportunity for them to step in.
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Stand your ground. He has learned that if he throws a fit he will get his way. The only way to stop this or break this habit is to allow him to have his fit. He will tire of the fit and stop on his own. He will probably rest and try again. Let it happen. Your job is to see to it that while he is having his fit he does not hurt himself or destroy anything.
I tried something that seemed to work most of the time with my son when he was young. When he had a fit, I got down on the floor with him and had a fit too. I'm not quite sure what he saw in me having a fit right along side of him though most of the time it did bring his fit to an abrupt halt. Maybe he saw how silly it looked to be rolling on the floor screaming or maybe it was the fact that I could scream louder than him. All I did was mimic what he was doing. Or may be he saw he was not getting the attention he wanted and decided he would try something else.
You could try what I did and it may work. Most important and as irritating as it may be; you must stand your ground. Let him have his fit. When he stops do not punish him for having a fit. Tell him to go play or if it is bed time just put him to bed. Losing his battle for whatever it is he wanted is punishment enough for now.
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