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Why would my guy friend start talking to me again then out of no where..?
Completely ignore me? Okay so i have this neighbor who is 15 and im 16 and we used to be best friends! We were inseparable. But we kissed and things just didnt work out anymore. Well we have tried being friends again and it worked out for a small amount of time but thats it. So just about 3 weeks ago he messaged me on facebook and we were talking and we ended up going out and riding bikes together like we used to do! That only happened about 3 times. We wrestled on my trampoline and this boy likes making things seem sexual because of course hes a teenage boy. But i was invited to his youth group by my friend and when i got there and he saw me he really didnt look that happy. Well he said hey and thats the only thing he said to me the whole time! I was there for about 2 hours and he was even in my small group where we prayed and gave testimony's and stuff. He pretty much acted like he has never known me before. Honestly it breaks my heart knowing how much of an awesome friendship we had and if i could go back i would have never kissed him. But back to what i was saying. He could have help make me feel welcome since it was my first time there! But nope! And i was talking to this man and he went right by me and said bye to the guy i was talking to and didnt even bother to say anything to me! I thought we were friends and out of that ignoring each other crap!! (keep in mind im very shy until i get to know you well) I just dont understand at all.. So after that night we wrestled he hasnt talked to me since. Idk what the deal is but it really has upset me. Also i have liked him for about 4 years so yeahh. He said he has liked me (2 years ago) but idk if i believe it or not. So if anyone has any idea of what is wrong with this guy, some advice would be greatly appreciated!
~thanks, Candice.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
No no honey, you have it all wrong. Don't feel bad you ever kissed, that not what made things change. If he said he liked you and was attracted two years ago...then it is true. I will try in a short space here to get you up to date with the whole aspect of attraction, relationships with the opposite sex and dating.
It starts as liking what you see and observe of a person so you stare at them alot. This is an attraction to but does not mean you like them yet, because really, you don't know anything about them yet. Then you start the conversation stage of attraction and developing relationships. During this time you will feel things, either a kinship, a friendship, like having lots in common, and/or just a romantic attraction. Kising is one way to see if what you feel in the beginning is still going to feel the same in a couple of months.
There is something called NRE new relationship energy...its that excitement you feel when a guy first starts paying attention to you.
Think of when you were little and excited to see if you got what you wanted for Christmas. And when you did, you were so excited for day, weeks maybe even a month or two, but after that...the new toy didn't seem as exciting anymore. You got bored and never played with it again.
I relationships this happens too, but only if the two (even though nice people) were not the perfect match for friendship or more. The reason you aren't best friends with all the girls in school is because there is something about your personalities where one or both of you don't want to hang out with each other. We tend to forgot that when it comes to the opposite sex. Its no different except for the sexual part which should come later when of legal age. But still there needs to be enough in commom.
Don't worry, even grownups have this problem still at all ages knowing the difference. At any point in spending time with someone, if it doesnt feel right anymore, it probably isn't, to force it isn't good. One person might resent the other, not be open and truthful with them or stop talking to them because they don't know what to do AND they feel guilty...although there should be nothing to feel guilty about. This is a natural part of attracton, relationships and dating. SOmetimes you like someone and it works out, sometimes you dont like them right in the begining or you discover this later on. No body is at fault or lacking in any way, just not right for each other.
I don't know how else to make this easy to see except to use color and tell a silly story.
Lets say the perfect relationship is the color purple. red represents the girl, yellow the boy. he is a wonderful yellow, but when he gets together with her, they end up with orange not purple...there is nothing she or he can do to change themselve to make a perfect purple. So they break up. ALong comes Blue. He gets together with Red, and the couple are perfect for each other and make the color purple. Yeah, corny but I want you to see, that something about the relationship between you is bothering him and he probably doesnt even know yet really what so how can he explain it to you and probably is decent enough to not want to hurt your feelings so he withdraws from you thinking that will be easier. I met an adult man who actually did the same withdrawal thing. And when I had a talk with him asking why he was distant, he said he did it because he thought telling me would hurt me, but he didn't realize that NOT telling me and ignoring me was also hurting me. If you are ready to hear the truth, no matter what it is, tell him you want to know and then patch up your friendship and continue as just friends, not girlfriend-boyfriend if thats the case.
My guess is he's trying hard to not hurt you, and not realizing that ignoring you isn't helping...just tell him that dear.
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