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Child vs. College
Hi im a 17/f. Im not that out going but my best friend is a very social person. She introduced me to her Older brother who is in collage. My best friend invited me to stay the night at her house. while i was there it turned out that her older brother was throwing a crazy frat party at there house whle there parents were away. Later that night after partying for awhile my friends older borther came up to me and asked if i wanted to dance. after a while he said he needed to talk to me in private. Wwe went up to his room and started talking for a while. he said how he really liked me and how he didnt care how i was 17 and he is 21. by that point i could tell he was drunk. i said "i'll be right bak" not meaning to return. i walked out of the room and went down stairs and started dancng again. about 15 minutes later he came down and said we needed to talk again. so i went along with it. when i walked in first he locked the door pushed me down on the bed and started rapeing me. now im 5 months pregnant and im supposed to be heading off to collage ona full scholorship. i really want to keep my child but it will be hard to go to school and keep a child. my parents dont want anything to do ith me so they wont help out. what should i do. keep my baby and skip out on Yale or give the baby up for adoption and go to Yale? im so confused please help!!!!!!!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Adoption?
If you really think the father is a good guy after raping you, then do not hesitate to ask for his help in raising the child. It's not fair to you or the child if he is not in your life. Talk to him and work it out, if you really want to keep the child, i'm sure between the two of you, you can find a way to keep the child and go to college.
Good Luck!
Jersey
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Hard decision but what would you want if you were a child whos mother was going to Yale for 4 years you wouldnt be very happy.. I say give your child up for adoption it will be a better decision for the both of you.I hope this helps.
CrzyLatinaChc
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this may sound wrong i see your point, but i think yale is the best way to go i mean you can have child after college.
Or you can have the baby,and yourdad can you help out.
all i know it will be rough, don't worry you will make the right desicion.
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Now that it's too late to have a safe abortion, you should continue with your life. If you got into Yale on a full scholarship, GO to Yale. Leave the baby with him. Make him take care of it. If he doesn't want to, report him for rape. You do have a while to report the rape after it's happened. Don't feel bad for the father for ruining his future if you make him take the baby because he's a "great man" and "a good friend" because IT WAS HIS FAULT. HE FUCKING RAPED YOU. Don't be stupid. It's his responsibility. Don't ruin your life because you're worried about his future. And report him as a sexual offender. Make sure he doesn't do it again.
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... leave it with him! god hes the one that fucking did you! who cares about his future. its his fault!
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Here it is, your smart and ready for a great life ahead of you and here's this asshole comes in and fucks it all up. Dear i ask you don't you have any relatives other than your mom and dad like grandma or grandpa. Maybe an aunt or uncle to help you. Don't drop Yale not one bit of this is your fault. You still have time to make your life great. I'm wondering did you tell your parents how you got the baby? Maybe by a rape by a 21 year old man with you as a minor. If you didn't speak the fuck up then say something now. Your parents are probably pissed bc your smart and have a full scholarship why mess your future up. Don't have your parents think that bad about you. What ever you do don't go to a community college or drop Yale. It's so hard to get into Yale for alot of people and for the future your about to have you need it desperatly. You don't wanna look back on your life and say i could have done that and these if this wouldn't have happened. Go for the goal, hun. If you didn't tell your best friend you need to tell her seriously and if she's a good friend she can help you and so can her parents. Let the damn court get in this you have just been vilated in so many levels. Get what you rightly deserve! I promise you'll feel better afterwards. Try to get more help like the people you know and if you try almost to the tip of everything and if you went to all these programs and stuff for girls like you so they can help you and that still doesn't work then go for adoption. Make sure to get open adoption to be connected to your child always and let the baby know who's Mommy. Don't feel ashamed and hate yourself you didn't do a damn thing and God will always love. Don't put so much stress on yourself be strong sweety. This happened to my family a few times and we solved it and the bad guy got what he deserved (PRISON). Not anyone should have any regrets and you shouldn't either cause that bastard can't control himself. If anyone blames you, you know in your heart it isn't near to being your fault.You'll be fine. God bless and if anything else go down you can talk at me for any help.
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Give the baby up for adoptiong.
Or, you could just live off welfare with your kid. Live in a crappy house, get robbed. Scare off all the guys cuz you have a kid. Then you kid turns into a criminal. Dies in a gang fight, and you live out the rest of your crappy life.
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If he's a great man and he's willing to help you with the baby, then let him do it. Don't give the baby up for adoption though. Children are so precious and they don't ask to be brought into this world, and there's no true love like a mother's love. You'll regret it and think about it for the rest of your life. You'll have to make it work. I know that Yale is a once and a lifetime opportunity, but you could try day care centers during the day or other family members that would help support and keep the baby while you attend school during day or night. And as for the rape, I'm truly sorry for that and I think you should report it. Just try your absolute best to offer the child something. I know right now it seems as if you have nothing to offer this child but you do. You have life, love, a bond. And this is far more greater than money or etc. You just have to follow your heart. Your dreams and your child, your dreams and not your child, or your child and not your dreams. Try to achieve both. There are centers and clinics who help mother's in this same position. That's what they're their for. You - you're really nice to have not reported him. You might need to do it for another girls sake though.
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Did you go to court? you could sue this guy! Its a good thing that your dad has agreed to watch the baby when you go to college.. i say go to Yale while your dad watches the baby- and get your education..THEN take the guy that raped you to court..THEN raise the baby.! hope i helped! and im really sorry about all this! also i have a question..did you tell the guy that raped you..no? please answer me back because if you say no then you have a reason to go to court!
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i would put the baby up for adoption, the guy who raped you is not a "great man" and do you really want him caring for your child? the baby needs a stable environment where there are two parents who are married and can easily support the child. You need to work on your future so you can graduate from college and have a good life, get married and have a kid that way. It will be really hard to give the baby up but you have to do it, i've heard that you can get a certain adoption where the adoptive parents will allow you to see the child as much as you want so you can still be a part of it's life.
I am really sorry this happened to you.
good luck
donny
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Well I am very sorry for whathappened. But its good that he is supporting it. One thing that should not be an option is to have an abortion. God obviously wants that baby here for a reason or this wouldnt of happened. Well I think the best decision is to give the baby up. It is very hard but it might be the only way. But Even better woul be is to try and talk to your parents until they listen. Try to explain the situation your in. Or go to his parents, if they are like him, they can help keep the baby untill you finish collage. And when your done a good future refrence would be to get married to him so you can both have full time care of the baby. Well I really hope I hleped you
Bianca
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he rapd you so you need his help child support or see if the state can help you as a single mother attending college you have a good chance at that see if he can pay for daycare. DO NOT GIVE UP YALE ON NO ACCOUNT yale is an awesome school and going on a scholarship is even better i too am 17 and would do anything to be able to go their both your child and ed is important but if you give your child up you will regret it i was raped by my ex who is 22 and had a miscarriage i would do anything to have my baby back . please do not have an abortion i hope i helpd
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You say he is a good man? Are you kidding. Honey don't bother with college, because college campuses are full go great "MEN" like him who get drunk and date rape female college students. Since he is he one who put you in the position, and created this baby in the manner you stated, then he should be the one to give up on college and stay home and raise the kid. Though I don't think I would want him to raise my kid. He wasn't thinking about the future when he raped you. He should be ashamed of himself. Why do we girls accept such horrible behavior from boys and men. They will never change if we don't turn our backs on this kind of behavior.
Let him take care of the baby, and you go to college. There is no GOOD answer to this dilemma. That is why we old folks tell you kids all the time, to wait until you get married to have children. You will have to work hard to still be a mother every chance you get ,and get your education. YOu need an education because single parenthood is the first step to poverty.
And when you are in college stay away from frat parties.
Michele
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If you knew this guy was drunk and had a bad gut feeling, which you obviously had since you left the first time, why did you "go along with it"? Wouldn't there a be a red flag there? I think the baby should be put up for adoption, for its sake.
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I think the baby needs to be put up for adoption, I know being raped sucks, but please give this little life a chance. Think about it. Or you can raise the child to be pretty good and keep it. But, I am truly begging you to give this new life you're about to bring to the world a chance, you'll still get to go to Yale if you put it up for adoption. Abortion can haunt you just knowing what happened, but you'll know that the baby is having a new life and you won't have to feel guilt. Please think about what you'd be doing if you did the abortion.
-TheTeenGirl
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