What's going on? my name is Heather and im here to give advice to anyone who needs it. giving advice has always been something that i like to do. my friends tell me that im pretty good at it. i will do everything i can to help you in everyway. im 19 and pretty much like any other 19 year old. i love hanging out with my friends, going to the movies(star wars is my absolute favorite) and listening to all kinds of music like rap, hip hop, rock, pop, country etc. softball is by far my most favorite sport and i try to play it all year, even in the snow. i might be young but i think even at younger ages going through things is what molds you. if you hold it inside it will just make your life horrible to deal with. My birthday is in April and I love the spring. im pretty sure my experiences will help you with yours and i have no problem sharing them all with you. please be polite and not rude. im here to help not take your anger out on. get started by clicking ask a question above or click ask me for advice below this column. leave me comments and rate me on my advice giving. i hope i help! thank you
Gender: Female
Location: Jamestown
Occupation: Student
Age: 19
Member Since: December 18, 2005
Answers: 13
Last Update: June 21, 2009
Visitors: 2072
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16F
Me and a guy i met through a friend starting talking months and months ago and two months into talking he did something really mean and i lost all trust for him. We werent going out but it was like we were about to and its always felt like we were married and still are but seperated. Recently i decided to put all the crap behind us after hard thinking and his much apologizing. So we have been being friendly, flirty, and hes been being more openly flirty then he was before when everything was fine. I dont fully like him again but I cant help but have a thing for him. We both just click and have a connection. Now its the summer and he got his phone taken away and i dont know for how long. He has a house phone but im not sure if he has my number written down or if hes even allowed to use the phone or anything. I really dont want to go almost 3 months without seeing him. If he asked my out right now I would probably say yes. But if I did say yes I think my best friend would stop talking to me and other people would just be surprised because he did me wrong, but i cant seem to let go even though I should. I feel like since we never went out and our friendship just ended so unexpectedly then I need closure. I need for us to go out and then end in a proper way. I am sorry this is so long but I wanted to really explain before asking what should I do? (link)
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My advice to you is this:
You should begin by finding out if you can even get any contact with this boy. If you cant get a hold of him to even ask to go out then there is no point to hold on to something that cannot happen anyways. 3 months is a long time and you could find someone else that makes you completely forget about this boy.
If you find a way to talk to him and you go out then treat it as a new beginning. I have had many relationships go down the drain due to resentment about the past. If you cannot let this boy go then give it a try. Your friend will have to support you and understand where you are coming from. It is hard to let go of people in your life and if you are not ready to do that yet then give him a chance. be clear about what it is you want from the relationship with him and what you dont like so that he knows where you stand. it could possibly work out this time but if it doesnt then you will get the closure you are seeking.
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is it ok to wear an (light) orange polo with a denim mini and pink flats? (link)
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i would have to be honest and say that the orange and pink might clash a bit...if you either have a pink shirt, or maybe a different color shoes like orange or blue to match you would be a lot better off.
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ohkay well, i used to talk to this guy a lot on the phone. he liked me for a little while and it took him a long time just to tell me he liked me. and i asked why it did and he said "i didnt wanna hurt your feelings." ididnt understand how my feelings would get hurt and he said "well, if i told you i liked you.. and if i start to lose feelings for you.." and so on. well that EXACTLY what happened. he kinda stopped talking to me, and i like him alooooooot. help? 5's on all the good ones. (link)
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guys are sometimes the most complicated beings on earth. my advice is be open with him. ask him how he feels. be like do you like me or am i wasting my time? tell him you want the truth. i know you must like this guy, but look at his reactions to see what he's feeling eventhough it might not be what he's saying. after you bring it out in the open, you can see if its really worth trying for. be reasonable with yourself. i have seen friends try for guys that dont feel the same for looonnnggg periods of time and it just makes matters worse. if you can tell he doesnt feel the same way, you have to get over him, there are many fish in the sea. but if he says he likes you and can tell he feels that way then go with it and see where it takes you.
hope i helped
xo Heather
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Could this be a possible sign of a STD?
I have this open, gaping wound in my mouth. It's more like a hole inside my mouth. A lot of the time it's white, but you can see it going into my mouth.
I've been sexually active, but not in the past month and this has just appeared in the last week.
My boyfriend I am 99.99% sure that he is STD free because I'm the only one he's bee sexually active with.
Could this just be a severe canker sore? Or possibly I bit my lip and didn't remember? Or is there a chance it's a STD.
If you have any idea what an oral STD might look like, I'd like to know that too.
Thank You (link)
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you deffinitly will want to get that checked because in the STD sphyilis, one sign is a chancre and is kind of like what you described. im not trying to alarm you but being sexually active, you have to be aware of all the signs. also a chancre is like a canker sore that can disappear and you think everything is alright. go get it checked out ASAP because it may disappear before you get the chance to see what it may be. sypilis is a horrible disease too and you will not want to be with that.
hope i helped.
xo Heather
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how do you become an organ donor? can you donote organs and other parts for money? (link)
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you can become an organ donor in many ways. one way is when you get your license, tell them you want to be one and it will be on tbe back of your license so if something were to happen to you people would know. also you can tell whoever holds your rights if you were to be hospitalized that you want to be an organ donor and they can let the hospital know for you. you can give parts for money on the black market but i wouldnt if i was you. you may need those organs someone if something else were to shut down and do you really want to take the chance of making your whole body fail if your missing one organ?
ox Heather
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sorry this is sort of long!! i have been best friends with my friend sammie since about 7th grade. now i'm a junior & i'n not quite sure what to make of our friendship anymore. we are not in any of the same classes this year& we never see each other in the hallways either, so basically i don't see her in school. in the beggining of the year we still did stuff together, but she made a new friend, jane, who she does alot of things with. now i'm not against her making new friends (i have made new ones too) & jane is a very nice person, but i feel almost as if they are beocming best friends. it seems as though they are together alot, & even when there not i deffinetly feel as though sammie & i are nowhere near as close as we use to be. today i finally saw her in the hall, and all she said was hi (it was during her lunch period, so she could have stopped to chat). i'm not so sure if it's her i miss or what. i still like her & want to ocntinue to make an effort for our friendship so i invited her over for new years - last week she said she'd ask her parents, but neevr got back to me. i don't know where this friendship is going & i would just like an opinion on what you make of the situation or if you have any advice on what i should do to either make more of an effort or if you think i should let the friendship go. i really do like sammie, so it's not like she's mean & i need to get rid of her. thanks for your help! (link)
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i know what you're going through. my friend just moved to a school close by, but its still hard to stay in contact, even at your own school. you have to come right out and ask her what the deal is. if you dont you will be guessing for who knows how much longer. ask her whats been up and how come you guys dont really hang out anymore. you will be able to tell by her reaction if she cares to hang out with you or not. if she just is like oh well ive been busy and gives no effort to chill, then maybe you should just let it go until maybe a time when she asks you to hang out, but dont let it get to you. if she seems like she does really care but has really been busy then tell her to make some time or plan ahead. im sure you guys can work it out but its not always easy. im sure if you talk with her it will make things easier because its all out in the open. i hope i helped!
ox Heather
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Okay...so there is a girl at my school who is such a whore. These 2 guys think she is amazing for some reason i can't understand..guy 1..me and him went out about two months ago. We broke up because she kept trying to get him to break up with me and i didn't want to deal with it. He told her that he didn't want to jump into because he realy liked me. About a month later they went out after she broke up with her boyfriend...guy 2..i Really Really like this guy. He is so sweet and funny and cute...i just really like him alot. Well about a week ago the whore and guy 1 broke up after me and him talked for like three hours and he told me that he still really likes me. He said he never stopped liking me all the time they were going out. Guy 1 and Guy 2 are really good friends..i guess about 2 days ago guy2 and whore started talking again. Well...last night he told me that she won't answer his calls and they haven't talked since she asked if they could start talking again. I told him that she did this everytime and that she treats him like crap and i don't want to hear it because he lets her do this to him and that he is only temporary until she can get some other stupid guy to start liking her. I am so sick of being there for him everytime this whore does this to him. I told him i liked him. He told me that he used to like me (which i already knew) and that if i talked to him more he would prolly like me again. We've talked every night this week for like three hours. I don't know what else to do. I really want to be with him. I can't think of any ways to make him realize this girl isn't any good for him. What can i do? (link)
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i know exactly what you mean. i have been there soo many times! you can never understand what guys are thinking! really this isnt anything you can do about pointing out how bad she is because he has to realize it on his own. guys can be complex sometimes. about getting with him, all you can do is keep talking to him and be there for him and when times get hard, he will know who was there for him and guys(believe it or not) realize who is there for them after awhile. if you really like this guy you gotta stick with it and let him know that you are there, even if it is his own same crap. if hes taking time to talk to you for like 3 hours each night, he must want to try and probably does like you. hold on in there, if he doesnt realize it after some time, then there is another guy out there who will.
ox Heather
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okay..so im going out with this guy and it's been a week...and well i tell him like EVERYTHING on msn but in real life like i never really talk to him :( ..what should i do?
-xoxxinoyouloveme (link)
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be more open with him. if you can tell him anything on msn, he is still the same person when you see him person. you should be able to feel comfortable around him. talk to him, make conversation about anything. if you can do it on msn, you can do it when you see him. you must like him enough to tell him things so dont be afraid. im sure if he listens to you on the internet he can do just as well in person.
oxHeather
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I went out to the movies with my frineds for my birthday. No one really talked to me they just talked to each other and left me out. How do i become more popular to make them want to tlak to me all the time especially on my birthday? (link)
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i used to be like that myself. its hard, trust me i know. i would listen to conversations that my friends had and try to crack jokes whenever possible and that really caught their attention and made them want to talk to me more because everyone needs a laugh. but when times get serious, act serious. if someone is asking for advice that maybe you could give out, be there and give them support and they will see that you can be funny but serious when need be. think of events that all your friends would like to do together as a group so they will have to include you. make it fun but simple. the smallest things you do, everyone notices, but be yourself. take your greatest traits and use them for your advantage. everyone will see that your a great person to be with. xo .:Heather:.
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i'm a junior and guy. my friends usually like to have parties or get togethers, and i usually can't go because something comes up or i have other plans. with this group of friends, they are good guys, generally stay out of trouble, but the one day i couldn't go, i decided not to because i had to work on a project. the next day i heard one of the guys was rushed into a hospital because he was drinking too much. i dont like drinking, never have, and would like not to. so if they do invite me to a get together, should i just decline? i don't want to be left out of the loop, but personally i don't like drinking, don't really mind if others do though. what should i do...avoid it completely? will rate (link)
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dont avoid having a good time with your friends just because alcohol is present. go there and if you are asked if you want a drink just say no and there is nothing more to it. they make say things like "cmon" or "its just one drink" but after saying no once or twice the point is usually left alone. im like you too. im not one to drink alcohol because i think it makes get togethers no fun. i always ask for a soda or something else to drink. if they are your real friends they wont get at you about drinking. if it gets out of hand, then just avoid the person who asked. later they will realize how much of a jerk they were being. xo.:Heather:.
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13/f
Ok theres this guy who is my friend, we hang out alot, and i REALLY like him, i mean more than ive ever liked any one in my whole life! Im fairly shure he likes me 2, but he has a g/f, and is happy with her, i mean im really happy for him, but what do i do? (oh and he knows i like him...) i rate 5's! (link)
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its hard to turn a friendship that you have had for some time into a relatioship but if you are almost sure that he likes you too here is my advice...put it out there that you like him. tell him to his face, on the phone but avoid letters because they seem to get people into trouble. if he does like you then he will make the next move. if the girlfriend is a problem act happy for him and wait your turn patiently because right now being a friend is more important. if he doesnt seem to feel the same make it clear that your friendship is more important and that you dont want things to get weird. his initial reaction will tell you everything you need to know and how exactly to handle it from there. i hope i helped!
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hey everyone my girlfriend and i are coming up on two years i thought that maybe i would make her a CD with songs that make me think of her is this a good idea and if you think it is can u tell me some up to date good love songs and any other ideas we are only 16 too thanks ill rate (link)
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i think a cd is a great idea! it shows that you think about her at all times, even when a good song is on. some good songs that are good are maybe rascall flatts "i melt" its country but very sweet. i also like the pussycat dolls and "stickwitu". another good song is the backstreet boys and yes it is older but its very cute is "I'll never break your heart". 98 degress have a song called "my everything" which is very cute too! most pop bands have the best love songs. also look in country and r&b to mix it up alittle. i hope the songs i gave were alittle help!
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my dad is always really impatient and sometimes he hurts me but i dont know if it would be considered abusing me. the worst time was when he shoved me up the stairs and started smacking me screaming at me and then shoved me into my room and i hit the door..it was horrible. other times he squeezes my arm or twists it so i listen to him. so would this be considered abuse or not? if it is should i do something about it? thanks, i rate high!!! (link)
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anything that is hurting you in anyway is abuse. no father in this world has any right what so ever to hurt their child. my advice to do something about it right away! you do not deserve to be treated like that at all. talk to someone around you who you trust and can help you with the situation, most likely an adult.
i hope everything works out but please do something quickly before you really get injured or maybe even hospitalized.
ox Heather
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