chances are, i was once like you.
Gender: Male
Location: chicago
Occupation: i find straight lines
Member Since: November 13, 2005
Answers: 8
Last Update: November 29, 2005
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17/f
is it wrong to think lustfully about others? i mean i can understand if it gets 2 be a constant thing and you objectify them, then its bad.. but is it really that bad 2 have inappropriate thoughts if its only ocasionally? please help
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don't worry, the feelings you have right now are completely normal. weather we like to admit it or not, we are all sexual beings and thoughts of attraction are just par the course in life and is just something you will have to deal with as a adult (read: the rest of your life).
coicidentally, as you grow older and wiser, along with your newfound lustfull awareness should come a newfound responsibility for the choices you make in your life. everyone has "inappropriate" thoughts every now and then (the church wouldn't have so much an issue with it if it didn't happen so much) what you have to understand is that as individuals, we are defined not only by our thoughts but as we exist in society, we are also defined by the choices we follow.
your thoughts belong to you, hopefully, you should never have to feel ashamed for something that comes from you. but with this ownership comes the consequences on how you choose to act (or not act) towards them. hopefully, in time, you will find a way to be proud of both.
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I’m really into fashion and my parents know that. My mom and I have talked about me going to an art school before and she wouldn't mind if I did. I have a very good chance of getting into UCLA but there is one problem--my dad. He refuses to let me go to an art school. He wants me to go to UT (Texas) which is where he went. I'm in the top 10% of my class so I'm in automatically there. He told me that in the end it was my decision but if I decided to go to UCLA then he wouldn't pay for it. UCLA is an expensive school and it'll be even more since I'll be coming in out of state and I won't be able to pay for it on my own. I need my dad. I tried to get my mom to talk to him about it but it didn't help. So now I don't know what to do-- go to UCLA and pay for it on my own (which I most likely be able to do) or go to UT and have my dad pay for it. What do you think? (link)
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i guess the real question is how serious and committed are you to what you want to do. and i hate to be like this, but it wont be near the last time something like this will come up. but hey, the good side is that your finally becoming a real person who is starting to feel the weight of your own destiny.
the real problem you face isn't about school (you could always transfer later, after he's paid for your basic classes) but weather or not you're ready to fully take your life in your own hands (and to be honest, most people aren't and most people don't even get the choice you have) either your dad doesn't think so and he's being an ass about it, or he's secrectly trying to push you into a independence that you yourself don't even know you're ready for.
what you should try to understand is although what your father is doing kinda sucks(he's using his money to try to influence you), he totally has the right to do this. after all, it's his money. also, you might as well get used to this because this is pretty much how most people with more money act. most of the time, they're not even trying to be jerks, they see something that has worked for them and they really can't see why other people don't do it too. jerks.
this is where you come in, if your dad can't see how important this is for you, then you have to show him. if he didn't want to support you, he could've just refused to give you any money at all. show him that you can respect his position and why he wants what he wants, but he has to also acknowledge the fact that you are now becoming your own person and sooner or later, you will have to do whatever it takes to make that happen or risk never being truly fullfilled.
if that doesn't work, and your heart is sold to ucla. then apply for scholarships, grants, and loans, move to california (after i think 2 years you'll officially be a resident and will qualify for way lower tuition) and get a job. save up as much as you can and be creative.
yes this plan sounds like it will take a while longer. but actually the wierd thing is, no matter wich way you go with it, it will take the rest of your life.
however you choose, good luck to you.
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hi sako,
I'm still learning how to drive and was kind of stuck in a situation and was wondering about the possible consequences. The other night my friend got hammered on two martinis and I became the designated driver... my question is what would have happened if I had gotten pulled over by the police driving on a written permit while my friend was passed out? would I have received the DUI? also I was kind of relaxed after a few...do you think it would be ok if I had a drink before the driving exam?... (link)
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as far as i remember, it is legal for you to drive the car on a permit as long as there is a licenced driver in the car with you. as long as you were not above the legal limit (wich these days is pretty low), i think you probably would be ok. plus, you were a good friend for taking up the designated driver and this might help you if you're ever pulled over.
one option still exists that we didn't cover (and i'm sure will be raised by the officer) is the posibillity of calling a cab. i know it might cost some, but at least both of you would get home safe (besides, what amount of fun has ever gone without consiquence?). one of the great things about living in the city is that you actually can get just about anywhere without a car.
now about the test, as i remember, i don't recall anybody giving me a blood/breath test before driving but officially, i would have to say DRINKING BEFORE YOUR DRIVING TEST MAY BE A VERY BAD IDEA. instead, may i suggest setting aside some time for meditation and positive thinking to help you relax more.
good luck with the test
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okay. me and this boy named will, LOVE each other. we fight everyday but always say sorry. but today, one of his friends says love=trust. he asked me if i trusted him, i said yeah just not with heather (his ex girl friend for a YEAR AND A HALF) so that gives me a reason not to. but i trust him. then he was like then you dont love me, and i was like yes i do.. then he was like i love you so much but its going anywhere, we fight everyday. and then i was like yeah but you said we fight because we care and he was like well i was roung we fight because I care not you. then he said whatever forget you. thats where i started to cry! =( now me and him are in a HUGE fight over that. i really love him. but now i think its over with us. =( do you think it is? what should i do? should i still love him or let what we had go ?
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it kinda sounds like your boy has some issues. maybe you might want to discuss exactly what he (not his friends) would define love as. one point that you might like to bring up is that trust might not be the only difining factor in love. for example: we trust alan greenspan with the path of our country's economy, but do we feel true passion for him? trust can help a person stand strong and i have many friends that i trust, but real good love makes you feel strong and also makes your spine tingle and your knees feel weak. and that takes a little something extra.
sometimes i think people confuse the concept of trust with faith. people often "trust" in things when they are certain of it and can predict what can happen. on the other hand, people often turn to faith when they can't explain how something will turn out but are willing to go on anyway. one has to do with what you know, the other has to do with what you believe.
i you are fighting all the time, maybe you might want to ask him (and yourself) what it is you find special about the two of you. fighting doesn't feel good, and hopefully, you two can find time to talk. it is important that both your views can be heard and it's important that you and he do not take each other for granted.
from how you described it, it sounds like will is in some kind of hurry. you might want to ask him what's up with that. if his answer has anything to do with "my friend said..." you might want to start questioning his motivation. relationships that have a lot of conflict can survive but it does take alot of work and both of you have to be willing to find each other when the dust clears.
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So I'm in a dilemma right now. My philosophy exam is tomorrow, and I just discovered I need to know Karl Popper's philosophy and approach to science. And I read over my notes and don't understand a word of it. On the internet, it's all put in very complex terms which I find very hard to understand. Does anyone know anything about Karl Popper's philosophy of science? I especially need to know about falsification.
Any help will be muchly appreciated it. Thanks everyone. (link)
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it's been a while but from what i remember, falsification and karl popper's approach to science had something to do with the concept of proof or rather proof of oposition to the fact in order to validate truthfullness. the thought that, without, any argument, to the contrary, a statement has no scientific bearing holding it separate from pure make believe.
ugh, sounds like smarty-talk to me, so that's all i got right now.
hope you do well.
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Sorry if it`s long I`ll rate 5`s!
I love my mom and all but she really bothers me. I am 13 and I`m kind of mature for my age. My mom said I could get my belly button peirced a yeah ago and she said yeah after I turned 13 and now shes saying no. I turned 13 April 25th and its so unfair I`m getting to really hate her so now she asked " What do you want for Christmas?" and I said. " A new cell phone and a my belly button peirced" and she goes "Your not getting neither your phone is fine."
My phone is a peice of sh1t and falls apart like 5 times a day. And I really want my belly button peirced and she said yeah last year so it`s completely unfair. My little brother gets everything he wants its unfair to me.
How can I convince her to let me get my belly button peirced? And how can I explain that she is unfair to me?
Thanks in advance. I`ll rate 5`s!! (link)
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here's the thing, your parents lie to you sometimes. that whole santa claus/ easter bunny thing, you might want to look into that. really, one day you might find out that your mom might actually be a ordanary person who doesn't have all the answers and sometimes they have to make stuff up just so they don't have a stroke trying to come up with the right thing to say...
some things you might want to consider:
-have you ever asked how old your mom was when she got her first cell phone? i bet it wasn't 12. people got along without them once. so can you!
-maybe your brother gets more things because your brother needs more help. not always needing things and being able to take care of yourself is a good example of maturity. way to go!
in life, there is always going to be someone who has it better than you basing your happiness on someone else's life will seldom make you happier.
-you're going to have your belly button your whole life. where's the fire? you're 13, in the next three to five years, you are probably going to go through things that will make you wish your problems were this simple. besides, unless you're super into gymnastics or a midget (and there's nothing wrong with that) you're probably going to grow up or out a bit in the next couple of years and that ring you put on might cause more problems. whatever you do, try not to get all crazy and peirce it yourself. peircings gone wrong always look kinda pathetic and can be hard to live down.
but if you really need that phone and that belly button ring, your final answer lies in your first sentence. get good grades and don't get into trouble so your mom can't hold that against you, then go get a job and save up some to your own money and see if she'll spit it with you. no? then save up more money and buy that stuff yourself and feel good about it. your mom might actually be impressed. so will i.
good luck
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Well there is one girl kathy that i have known for 3 years and were good friends you know were there for each other. And then there is this girl brittany. Well Brittany and me have a good bit in common. And i was talking to her and she said that tomorrow she is going to go to a birthday ball and dump the boy she is currently going out with and ask the boy she really likes out, which is me. Well the thing is it seems ALL my friends are enemies. not just say britaany and kathy. But i really dont know what to do. I dont think kathy will stop talking to me by no damn means cause of what all we been through together and the fact we have been there for each other. But i really wouldnt mind going out with brittany since we got a good bit in common. And also as far as me and kathy i have wanted to go out with her since like last october and feel like one day something could happen between me and kathy but really dont know when. So my question is should i go out with brittany since it seems we got alot in common or wait and hope something happens between me and kathy? Eithere way i really feel me and kathy will be there for each other i really do. (link)
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i'm not exactly sure what the problem is here. you say that you and kathy will be cool no matter what. so the issue is weather or not you really want to go out with brittany. the fact that your friends don't get along is just how life sometimes is. if you really want someone, that shouldn't matter and your friends will have to get over it. i say go out with brittany if you want to. and if this makes kathy so upset, maybe you can finnaly have that discussion too. but if the fact is that you really just want to go out with kathy and you don't know how to say it, you should just get over it and say it soon. there will never be a perfect or "right" time to do it.
'Hey kathy, have you ever thought about us going out?" it goes something like that. if she says yes, then you're all good. if she says no, well maybe she might be that "just great friends" thing that most people aren't lucky enough to get. smile, thank your lucky stars and give that brittany girl a call.
good luck
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Are contacts hard to take out? I'm thinking about getting them. Any advice on what to do lol? (link)
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no it's not hard to take contacts out. but it does take getting used to. actually, the real trick is getting them on. putting something directly on your eye isn't an inherently natural thing to do and it takes a little time getting aclimated to the sensation and some people are more sensitive than others. i go back and forth on the whole glassed vs contacts thing but sometimes it is nice to be able to wear any kind of sunglasses you want and still be able to see. one tip, always clean your hands before putting them in or taking them out and always use a sterile saline solution for storage.
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