i was trying to explain to my boyfriend how the first time we "make love" or have sex i would like it to be special.. and i couldnt explain it in the right words.. tell me if you can relate and help me find better wording/explanation.. the first time i have sex i want it to feel more sensual then just the norm sex like i want to be on the bottum so i feel the man over me taking control then me just getting on top and doing my thing.. ( becuase it is said it feels better when the girl is on top and controls) but i really dont care what feels better i just want him to love me and control me i want to feel like the girl instead of holding myself over him feeling manly.. i cant explain that to him how can i word that its so hard to get a guy to understand how a girl feels about this.. what do you guys think??
i think you did just fine explaining, however your right guys dont always understand these things like girls do. to help him better understand if i were you, i would just flat out say there is a difference to having sex and making love and for our first time i would like us to make love rather than just have sex and then maybe go about explaining your deffenition of this differences, just as you did when explaining them to us.
and if he really is worth it, he will take the time to listen and hopefully take your feelings twords the situation into consideration and for your sake go about it your way. and if all goes well with that, maybe you'll go for 'norm sex' in the near future for him. compromises are always key to a good reletionship.
hope this helped, goodluck with everything!
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18/f
theres a boy at school who just started talking to me and taking an interest in me. the thing is he only really talks to me online apart from the occasional passing comment. we only ever talk about school aswell. i can tell by his actions and stuff that he is interested in me. i like him to but i have no confidence and i dont know how to get to know him more, he has only started talking to me like in the last 2 months.
help?
having previously been in a similar situation, i want to point out that there might be more to it than you see.
despite how over-rated the whole getting to know each other on the internet seems, it can often tell a lot about a person. seeing how this was his choice of communication, tells that he might also lack confidence and be a bit shy himself.
however, considering you already know that he is interested in you there is not much of a reason on your behalf to not have confidence.
my suggestion to you if you would like to take things further you could start by taking the whole school topic to the next level maybe. ask him about other interests he has or what he likes do with his spare time maybe? if all goes well maybe you two may have a few things in common.
by bringing conversation to the next level and finding things you guys have in common this will most likely open both of you up more and the talking will come about more easily. aslo, if you are the one to make the next move by taking the conversation further he might feel more comfortable and he maybe it will give him the confidence to come up to you in school.
i hope my advice helps! and good luck with whatever happens!
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okay, so for most of the summer me & this kid have been hanging out a lot w. mutual friends and every time he alwayss flirts with me hardcore, cuddles with me, puts his arm around me and acts like he likes me. he's a flirty person but still..it felt like more because of how much chemistry we had. even our friends say so and think we look soo cute toghether..then last night we hung out and it was totally different. he was nice to everyone BUT me &acted like he hated me! he even flirted with my friend right in fronttt of me..& avoided me like i was a disease or something! :[ i don't understand how it could go from one extreme to the next. except that a lot of people found out i like him..and i think maybe someone told him..now i have no idea what to do..its so awkward but we dont know eachother well enough for me to talk to him about it..thatd just be weird. what do i do? i have to keep hanging out with him because hes still friends with my friends and whatnot. i just hate that its awkward now. i tried to be nice to him, but he acted creeped out and wouldnt even make eye contact with me. im sooo confused at what to do here.
guys can be very mysterious creatures. at times, trying to figure out a rubix cube could even be easier than trying to figure out a guy, especially when you're without even having the liberty of talking to him about his oppinion of the sittuation.
however, being the position your in my suggestion for you is to take a step back and realize what your saying. you admitted to the fact that you dont know the boy well enough to talk about things such as this so you to clearly aren't that close. put yourself in his place, if you started hearing from all your friends that a girl you didnt know all too well randomly liked you when maybe this is a girl you just had a good time flirting with you would probally either 1, be a little creeped out that a few hangouts that you thought were just a good time turned into a girl with a crush on you running and telling all her friends or 2, you might be thinking all your flirting may have led her on a bit so you back off so you are no longer giving her the wrong idea exspecially if you didnt feel the same way.
although, like i said, guys can be very difficult to figure out. i may be completely wrong with both of those accusations and it could simply just be that this boy did hear that you liked him and he also had feelings for you too, so he gets nervous and backs off a bit to make you jealous. if this is the case though, dont worry because it is only a matter of time that he will be back your way so for the mean time just take it easy and your best bet is to just play it off as if you dont care, it will aggervate him more than anything and speed up the process.
so my advice for you is to not let this eat you up. it sounds as if this is just another case of confusing boys and you dont seem to have done anything wrong. i think your just going to have to give this time and don't dwell on it. whatevers meant to happen will happen and with however this turns out i wish you the best of luck. i hope this helped! goodluck
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13/f
I like this boy and he is so nice to me. He talks to me sometimes and walks away from me. I only have one class with me and he talks to me and asks me questions or ask me for something. None of my friends know I like him. They think I like another boy which I stopped liking him. So I'm gonna tell them I don't like that boy anymore. The boy I like now isn't popular, which I don't care about but my friends think he is weird, perverted, and all that stuff. So I really don't want to tell them I like him. I don't think he is any of that and I think he is really sweet and cute. So I just don't know what to do. Also I am pretty shy so he is the one who comes up to me and talks to me. I usually only talk to people when they talk to me. So can anyone help me with this problem of mine and also how to talk the the guy. Thanks a whole lot! (Sorry it was long)
for starters, how would you feel if someone where ashamed to tell their friends they liked you? i know being thirteen is rough and at that age all you want is to fit in and be excepted by peers but if you really like this boy and dont mind that he isnt unpopular there should be no problem with telling your friends. inpluss, if you really like this boy and want it to go somewhere, youre friends are bound to find out eventually anyways. and sure they may make fun of you because they think he is weird but if they are your real friends they will just except it because you cant help who you like. and make sure you dont let what anyone says change the way you feel about this boy, by staying true to who you are you will be much happier in the long run.
as for talking to him, think of him as just another person on just another day. next time you see him and get the chance to make conversation go for it. i know its not as easy as it sounds being shy and all but if hes as nice as you made him out to be you should be just fine. and still if you dont feel comfortable going up to him make an effort to keep conversation up when he comes to you, possibly even flirt a little. giving him hints that you like him may make him more open to be open with you if he likes you. and hopefully talking to him gets easier as time goes on.
good luck and i hope everything works out for you.
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ok so i have 2 guy friends. and i like both of them a lot. A LOT, A LOT. and they both like me back, allegedly.
and so i really dunno which one to choose. i like them both equally. and i can see myself staying with both of them a real long time.
so how do i choose which one? cuz both seem pretty upset that i cant choose. and they both no that i like both. and im afraid that they are going to gain up on me one day and be all "choose between us, now!"
:(
who would blame them if they wanted you to choose? put yourself in their position, how would you feel if the person you liked claimed they like you back but before settling down would like to explore other options first, possibly even with your friend? you'd probally feel pretty confused and they have ever right to be upset. your toying with their heads and their emotions.
and after looking at it from their prospective, you should probally seriously think about what or who you really want. are you really ready for a reletionship with either of them when youre having to put this much thought into who you want more? and if you still feel you do, think about the certain qualites one may that the other doesn't and what initially attracted you to both of these guys in the first place. and as lame as it sounds, you could maybe even try a pro/con list, which guy has more pros than cons? and after you have really put some serious thought into this if you've still yet to decide i suggest you should just talk to each of them about how you feel before you lose them both.
goood luck!
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ok im 15 now and i don't know if theres something
wrong with or what because ive only dated people on the internet its like nomatter what i do i can't seem to get a boyfriend . its not like i want to date someone o just be with someone i only want tto date people who care about me and are interested in what i have to say. so my question is why isnt any guy interested in me ?
because im like outgoing and stuff im in the 9th grade now and im gettin worried that i'll never find a guy so if anyone can give me any tips or anything that would be great thankies.
theres nothing wrong with you except for the fact that your trying far to hard. stop searching for a reletionship. when its meant to happen it will and for the meantime the whole interent dating probally isnt the best way to go. but the fact that those are the only reletionships you've had says a lot. most likely your probally just self-conscience about the way you look and you just feel more comfortable talking to people sitting behind your computer screen rather than face to face and intill you can accept yourself for the way you are, your probally not ready for a real relationship anyhow.
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why are you so amazing?
my bestfriend misty just sortof rubbed off on me.
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i broke up with my boyfriend yesterady, we had only gone out for about 5 days though. i broke up with him because i didnt really like him that much, he acted so much different than when we were friends and i also liked this other boy, so i figured it wasnt right if i wasnt into the relationship. he kinda got mad at me, and told my friend he was really sad that i broke up with him. i told my friend maybe we could try it again once i was over the other guy, but i still feel rEALLy bad. what should i do?
feeling bad for someone is no reason to go out with them. how would you feel if the kid you really liked went out with you only because he felt bad? it sounds like you made the right decison to begin with, so dont second guess yourself. if you didnt feel the same way about him as he did you the reletionship probally would have ended badly anyways so this way not only did you end it before it got to far and he got even closer to you, but you two most likely will end up being just friends again, which is probally for the better. and on top of that maybe you can have a reletionship with the other boy you like and still be true to the last one. but i highly suggest you dont tell the first guy you can try it again after the new guy because inless the feelings are there in the future, what makes you think it will work any better then? in telling him that, your probally just getting his hopes up for a let down.
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15/f sophmore.
pep rally
so i'm at school and my vie principle wanted me any my 3 other friends to do this relay thing. And each person had to spin around on a bat 10 times around...so after i spun around the bat 10 times..i was REALLY dizzy. and i fell...but i got up and ran across the gym.
so my question is i know on monday people are going to make fun of me..or make jokes about this situation. So how do i act like i don't care ?!!!..what would you do in my situation?!!
please give me all of the advice you can think of.
after spinning ten times anyone would be dizzy enough to fall, but the fact that you got right back up and kept going shows a lot about yourself. but you are right, people are bound to still make fun of you because in high school, sad but true, kids really don't have anything better to do with themseleves. so when monday rolls around the best you could possibly do to make it look like you dont care is to just blow it off, laugh with them. if anything it will just aggervate them that what they say doesnt get to you and they will just find someone else to victimate.
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So, last night, I had a little to drink and I had a random hookup with one of my friend's friends. We didn't have a condom, and I have been on birth control for a month last night. The sex didn't last long at all, he got off and pulled out. I'm wondering since I've not been on birth control other than a month if there's going to be a possibility of pregnancy?
usually it takes a good month of birth control for it to work, so you should be set but birth control isnt always effective so you probally shouldnt make a habit of relying on it. but as for the meantime, dont stress over it too much, the stress will just mess with your menstrual cycle and do you no good.
and just a little something extra, depending on how hott this kid was, you should probally rethink the whole hooking up with a 'friend of a friend' its not always very reasuring and remember birth control does not prevent stds.
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I'm a 16 year-old girl and my 15 year old (first) boyfriend says that I should change myself COMPLETELY just for him. And when I asked him why he's still with me and why he doesn't go to someone else he says it's because of all the sexual things he wants to do with me. I'm like..wtf..You don't respect me. You want me to change for YOUR sick pleasures...Well, I'm not going to change. It upsets me...because everything I seem to do, he's not happy with. The way I dress, act...He LOVES the way I look. And that's about it.
I'm on the verge of breaking up with him. We've been together for a month and 2 weeks. Do you think I should give him another chance?
my opinion, you've been with him a month and two weeks too long. you clearly have a good head on your shoulders and know right from wrong and i give you a lot of credit for not changing for a guy, so many girls would have just gave in to please their boyfriend, but that shows that you have some respect for yourself; so do yourself a favor and breakup with him. your a good, head-strong girl, you deserve so much better than him. you need someone who likes you for you and wont use you for sexual purposes. when your in a reletionship with someone they should make you feel good about yourself not upset you because your consently feeling as if you aren't good enough. there are plenty of guys out there and belive it or not they aren't ALL assholes. so goodluck with this one, but im sure if you stay true to yourself and stick to your moral values you'll be just fine.
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ok there is this guy i like a lot and we went out in like 3rd grade ;but this year he went out with one of my best friends and he promised me if they broke up he would ask me out but then he went out with my ex friend but he told me that he still loves my friend after i told him how i felt about him so ypu think ypu could help out a lil???
first off, i hate to burst your bubble but 3rd grade relationships dont count.
secondly, this kid sounds like a straight up player. hes going out with your bestfriend, and yet hes promising to go out with you if they breakup? and on top of that he didnt even follow through with this promise, but better yet just got with another girl. ANYONE deserves a guy better than that.
and lastly, you and your 'bestfriend' have a very interesting friendship. not only should you probally not being talking to youre BESTfriends boyfriend, getting him to make promises that he will leave her for you but if shes you really your friend would she have got with the boy you like in the first place?
i think you should reconsider this whole situation, possibly choose your friends more wisely and maybe not go after the guy thats just a calling to get hurt, ESPECIALLLY when he is your bestfriends boyfriend.. just a thought(o:
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well there is a guy that likes me and i like him back. we are both 16. but he wont do anything about it and im not really sure what to do about it either because i like to play hard to get and i think it is the guy's place to go after the girl but at the same time i really like this guy so i dont know what to do. this really hasnt happened to me before...we arent that close, but we have a few of the same friends and we talk just as friends whenever we see each other
if you really like him then he should be worth pushing your dignity aside for a minute and putting yourself out there despite the whole stereotypical 'its the guys job' theory or your playing hard to get method because clearly niether of those are working here anyhow. i say you take a chance with this one and go for it. you say he likes you so what do you have to lose? and if worst comes to worst, atleast you wont have to wonder what if could have been.
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