UpStep's advice column

askUpStep

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: hi i am a sex addict i have never acctually had sex but i do it to myself all the time is this bad i mean i am just so addicted i need help on knowing if this is bad.....please help.

WTH Barney... Bad to pleasure urself.. Satan cheering you on..? Adultry?... And you told her to stop before its to late? Jesus Christ shes not doing drugs.
Hmm Someone needs a lifeee

Q: I am in love with this guy that I met at camp about two and a half weeks ago. I can tell him anything and he can tell me everything. We are not going out right now becasue he already has a girlfriend. He told me that he wants to go out with me but he's not sure because he doesnt want to have a long distance relashionship. We live in different townships...but we call and text each other every day. I really LOVE him. I would kill myself for him if I had to. but... what if it doesnt work out in the end?? I don't know what I would do.. He is my EVERYTHING!! Please help me out!! : )

Eh, having a long distance relationship is Really tough. I was going to do it once... But I thought about it and decided against it. Only for the reasons of, Not being able to see her.. Which is the main reason they usually don't work out, but if your ok with that, and there can be trust issues because you have no clue what he does while hes away from you. Also.. You said he has a girlfriend... What if you end up dating and he does the same thing to you as hes doing to his current girlfriend.. Which is talking to another girl. Since you do know that he does it, how do you know you'll be able to trust him.

My point is, I don't think long distant relationships work out =(. I'm sorry.
I mean if you can get him to have a long distant relationship and you want to Try... Then do what you gotta do, but always remember there is a great possibility it might not work out how you planned it, which can cause more hurt later on as you get attached to him.
Thanks for coming to me for advice. I'm here if you need anything else or just wanna talk. =D

Best of Luck!
-AM

Q: I really want to learn Japanese, but there aren't any Japanese classes in my area. I searched on Yahoo! and found a pretty good-looking online course: http://www.yesjapan.com/ My question is, does that seem like it would effectively help me learn Japanese? There was a little tour of the curriculum, and it seemed like it would be fun and effective in teaching (without being so boring that I lose interest, as I've noticed in some other sites I've researched). Really, any opinions on the site are what I'm looking for- of course opinions from those who've actually used it would be fantastic, but I doubt there are many of those, so if you could just take a look at the tour and everything, that'd be awesome. Also, if you have another alternative class idea that you think would be better, that'd be great too! Thanks so much. C:

Hmm, Yeah I think this site looks really cool.
Many options and stuff to do on there so doesn't seem like you would get bored.
There's even a free 7 day trial, so you could go for that and see how you like it.
Goodluck! =D

Q: I Love YOU! Haha Lol

Well, I have an Answer!!!

I LOVE YOU.......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
MORE! =D

Q: How do I transfer my songs on limewire to iTunes?

After your done downloading the songs on LimeWire you can just click and Drag it into your Itunes Library. Make the Screens smaller so you can fit both of them on the Monitor screen at the same time and just Click and drag is what I do.

Q: ok so my best friends and i have been together since the 5th grade. but one time i made a mistake and sent a kinda rude e-mail to them. i apologized and we were friends again. but then they acted like they didn't want to be friends with me anymore. so i sent another e-mail asking what was going on and why they were leaving me out. my one friend responded, yelling at me, she told me that it was my fault and im becoming distant and im being moody. she didn't understand that im busy and im growing up as well. soo today i figured out that all three of them, got together and hung out behind my back and once again, she acted as if it was my fault. i don't know what to do? im not becoming distant or moody! im a woman, and im growing up. i don't know if they're right or if i should move on and make more friends besides them? what should i do?

Yes, move on and make new friends. Sounds to me like you've apologized and tried to talk to them about it, but they just aren't listening or caring.
If you don't make new friends, be prepared to be left out, ignored, ect.
Don't let anyone do that. They obviously aren't good friends.
Best of Luck! :D

Q: ok my friend keeps saying he likes me and he is going out with my friend she is clueless on this whole ordeal and i really like the guy and this always happens to me and hes telling me to wait for him for like 5 more months but he is wanting to kiss me makeout with me hold hands etc. and i just dont no if i should tell the friend or not and should i tell him i loe him to cause i kinda do.

I don't really see why he says "Wait 5 months" if he really cares about you, but ok.
I wouldn't make out with him or anything like that though since he is dating your friend.
That's a good way to lose a friend, if you get caught with her boyfriend or anyone finds out. The best thing to do would be to talk to him about it and ask Why he wants to wait 5 more months if he really does like you and want to be with you. This also could save your friendship with both of them, yes your friend might get mad that you all start dating... but theres a greater possibility she would get over it faster than you doing stuff with her BF.
You should talk to your "girl" friend about it though so maybe she will understand where your coming from so you could possibly stay friends through this.

Just DON'T go behind your friends back with this, it could ruin your friendship.

Q: Im looking at stores online like wet seal and looking at shirts for school....how long does it take to get here?

Here you go.

Standard Ground Delivery, Continental United States
For Standard Ground shipping (of in-stock items) Please allow 5-7 business days from the date the package was shipped. Your package will take 24-36 business hours to process and ship.

*Standard delivery is unavailable to Alaska or Hawaii.

Next Day Shipping
Orders (of in-stock items) placed Monday-Friday, will take 24-36 business hours to process and ship. Your package will arrive in the next business day, from the date your package was shipped.

Second Day Shipping
Orders (of in-stock items) placed Monday-Friday, will take 24-36 business hours to process and ship. Your package will arrive in two business days from the date your package was shipped.

*We do not ship or deliver on Saturday or Sunday.

http://www.wetseal.com/custserv/custserv.jsp?pageName=Shipping

Q: how much would it cost to switch from cingular to verizon?

Um, need a little more information.
I do think verizon has cheaper plans though, if that's what your asking? You will have to look into it at: www.verizonwireless.com

If you still have a contract with Cingular, there is a fee you will have to pay to break that contract. I know with verizon if you break a contract it costs 200$. However, I'm not sure with Cingular.
This would probably be something you would have to talk to the companies about.

Q: my dad always yells and never listens because he thinks he's always right. He also get drunk alot and starts yelling and fighting. so most of my life is one big fight. when we are not fighting, im by myself. when we ask him why he drinks so much he say's because he was mad. my mom never cares about us unless it's convenient for her. she never listens, she never cares, and she even said these exact words," the world will stop for me when i want it to." but our parents think that we're little devils when it's really them and we're wrong because we are kids and they are adults. and my sister thinks she's gonna be famous! she tells me that she's prettier than me all the time. she tells me that i need to lose weight when she's actually underweight! she also tells me that i can't sing and i'll never be famous like her. i'm tired of this. i'm 13 and i wanna kill myself but i don't think i'll ever actually do it. it's gonna be really hard celebrating mothers day tomorrow when there's nothing to celebrate. i feel like im not good enough for my sister, my mom, my dad, or anybody.

You don't deserve to be in a situation like this. Sounds to me like they have the issues. Never take Suicide into consideration.
Maybe you could check into living with another family member, such as, aunt & uncle, grandparents, or someone you feel comfortable around. Possibly try talking to a school counselor.
As for your sister, ignore her. There's a great chance she probably won't get anywhere, as for "Famous".
Goodluck =D!

-Austin

Q: hallow there! my name z sef fom East africa. i have a girl, that i love from my heart, i mean i want her to marry me! bt, when i am talking to her, she says she doenst feel anything for me, she dislike me, she talks to me as normal as she talking to other men. since got her phone number, no day gone withoud heard her voice, bt if i get emergency, or i am sick' even one day. she never call me, or even text me' so, i wonder how bad will it be! and i didnt approach any other girl, since i first met her, my age is 18, hope you will take your time to answer me, if you reaaly need to help,ask me: Sef_1za@hotmail> hope to hear from you soon!! thanks

Um, I don't really see the question in this?
However, if she doesn't have feelings for you, and it's been awhile then it's probably best to move on.

-AM

Q: We broke up after dating for about 3 weeks. Before then we had known each other for about 6 months and we talked to each other about everything, he was pretty much my best friend. Right after we broke up, we didn't talk for awhile and I missed him a lot but I thought I would get over it. Then he started texting me again and we were getting back to being friends, and it wasn't so awkward... until he told me he wanted me back. But a couple weeks after I turned him down (reason being I have a new bf), he started telling me about this other girl that he wants to ask out, and he wants me to help him "get it to flow". So... he asked me if I would go on a double date with bf with them. Do you think he's really moved on and that this would be a safe move? Or should I turn him down again incase he's still not over me?

I agree with Insanechild.
Go for it.

There's no reason you all can't be friends. He might actually be serious this time and trying really trying to move on.

Q: You gave me such great advice on this question: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=539679
That was a month ago but i still have the same problem!

I really have been thinking about what you said. About not ending things. The problem with this whole thing is that i want to be with him, i just know its not whats best for me right now. I cant enjoy my friends and my life when im thinking about him. So i dont know what to do because i like him so much, and i miss him but i know i shouldnt. And im happier without him. But im so happy with him. And im torn between the two. And i can get over him when hes gone but then ill run into him or hell call me in the middle of the night and it all goes down the drain. We wer talking until three last night! And we both log off at the same time and go straight to sleep so hes the last person i talk to and its driving me crazy! I have to get over him, and have him get over things also so that we dont go back to eachother. I told him al of this, and he sais he respects my decision but he dosent agree because he thinks its too much hurt for both of us. But he wont stop texting me! And its my fault for answering.

So do you think i should just stop answering?

If i dont hell just send me a really sweet text like "you looked so cute today" and i melt and then i have to answer!

Is he manipulating me or just trying too hard?

It dosent help that the whole world is trying to set us up!

Im in over my head and i just want to get out. I heard the easiest way out is in but im willing to take the hard way i just need some guidence. Help please! Thank you so so much! =)

Hey there,
Have you told him "i want to be with him, i just know its not whats best for me right now. I cant enjoy my friends and my life when im thinking about him. So i dont know what to do because i like him so much"? If not then you should.

Don't let him talk you into doing something you don't want to do. Relationships are serious to alot of people. I know they are to me, and if your not looking for anything serious right now then just talk to him about it.
Tell him if he respects you and really does care he should give you the time and space you need.

If he still goes on, try not even reading the texts, just delete them incase he does say something sweet. It's hard to tell if he's manipultating you or trying to hard. I did the same thing to a girl once and just kept trying to push her into going out with me.
Happy to say... I don't do that anymore because it just pushes them farther away.
I'm sorry you're in this situation.
Best of Luck!

-Austin

Q: where can i buy a jabbawockkee mask?

Here you go =D.
http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=jabbawockeez+masks&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=1146690161&ref=pd_sl_9rtaey6y2h_b

Hope I helped.

Q: Okay, I want to become an actress, but i don't know where to start. I'm taking singing, improv, and dance classes there are no theaters around me that i can go to. I don't know how to get an agent or anything like that. so how can i learn about auditions? please help, any info would be helpful!

Ok I was once into this also. However, I lived in Nashville, Tennessee so it was pretty easy to get somewhere. I hear about them where I live on the Radio all the time. I do know that they had me Model before I actually got anywhere. Which I then backed out. But I googled some stuff.
Hollywood-Opportunities.com
www.auditionsforteens.com
www.starsearchcasting.com

*Note: If you don't live around anything like that, you might have to travel. If none of the Sites above helped you There was plenty of sites that popped up in my Search, those are just a few I picked.
What I search was: Teen Acting Auditons
Or Just Acting Auditions.
Hope you get where you want. Goodluck =D

-Austin

*Edit: I Found something Else that Might Help!
http://talenthunter.com/join_form.php/?idAff=652