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PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!! I REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE!!!!!!!!!!
I am so sorry but this might take me ages to expalin...PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!
hi, i really need some advice....
it's just when I was in primary school I fell in love with a boy called Ian............
It's just wnen I met Ian in primary school i grew more and more fond of him until i knew I was in love with him. However I wasn't sure whether he actually LOVED me or not altough there were times when I felt like he did.
It's just that in his final year of primary (he was a year younger than me you see) whilst I was at high school. My sister was then at his school and she told me that he said to someone 'I'm not going to some rubbish school like 'name of school' Community High school'. Now if he'd have LOVED me would't he have been more upset about not going to my school?? I am just VERY confused.
Also I found out from a source (it would take me too long to expalain how I found this out) that he had said to his friends (after I had sent him countless Valentine's cards) that Ian had said (about me)in a not particularly nice voice by the way she said it(that's if she was telling the truth) 'there's this girl who REALLY fancies me'. But then I also found out that he had apparantly turned down an invitation to go out with another girl because he had said he liked. (also i heard he had gone around saying that i was really clever!!!!...by the way this is one coment which makes me think that he wouldn't fancy me when he knows about me getting no GCSEs) But if he'd have LOVED me would he have said something like 'there's this girl that REALLY fancies me' and ''I'm not going to some rubbish school.........'??? which i didn't think were very nice things to say.
I can't tell...and would appreciate an outside opinion. Do you think he LOVED me (like I loved him) or do you think he just fancied me. is the only way to have found out/find out to have asked/to ask him. It's just I really would appreciate your opinion on this (I just need an honest answer no matter what that may be) Do you think he LOVED me or not...or only fancied me???If he loved me then why would he have chosen to go to the private school rather than my school??Or would the only way to tell be to ask him. (which I can't possibly do) It's just I loved him. can you offer me any advice on this...as I really cannot sort my head out...and cannot work it out.
Just for reference this below is simply a record of the whole situation I have included it because without it you might not understand the above question.
My Problem is this:
When I was in primary school I fell in love with someone called Ian.
But then when it came too high school, he got sent to a private all boy's school far away and I got sent to the local comprehensive.
I thought I'd NEVER see him EVER again and despaired.
Around about the same time my Grandmother of whom I was VERY close to died. She practically raised me.My mother never seemed to bother with me. However I never noticed this neglect (by my mother)until my Grandma died.
I noticed that I was very unsupported by my mother and in general uncared for. Sometimes she was also emotionally abusive towards me--sometimes she could be so nasty she'd make me cry.
Because of all these things(the death of my Grandma, the loss of Ian and also the uncaring attituse at home) I began to feel very depressed.
Then I made a TERRIBLE mistake:
Somedays I felt so low I found it almost impossible to think about the future and sometimes couldn't find the will-power to get up in the mornings.I started to refuse to go to school asn I felt so low. I'd been bullied VERY VERY badly at the primary school i went to (before I moved to the one Ian was at)which also made me quite nervous of people and scared of school too.However I recieved no help, no counselling or anything(do you think this was neglect?)
I refused to go to High school on-and-off for the first three years by which time I was REALLY REALLY very behind in my work.I then refused to go to school altoghether as I couldn't cope any more with my life. I was SEVERELY depressed and wasn't thinking logically. I ended up having 5 measly hours of home tuition per week, for the next two years which should have been spent in school. Unsurprisingly I then failed all my GCSEs (apart from one, where I got a 'C' in English)I felt so depressed. I then have stayed at home doing nothing for the past two years as I have felt too embarrassed to face the world.
However this is my problem:
I now want??/need to go to college. However I have just found out thet the college I wanted to attend is right next door to the top educational sixth form which Ian goes to. If I go there then I will definantely bump into him…but the thing is he will NEVER EVER be interested in me now (even if he used to be when I was ok).how on earth canI explain to him WHY I refused to go to school? He’s going to think I am a bad person .
But the thing is he's studyiwng 'A' levels at a top sixth form college. And I .....will probably have to go on an Entry level course and learn really basic stuff like how to cook, use public transport etc(basically for absolute dim-wits)
He'll NEVER EVER be interested in me now. He's in a different league to me. He's so clever.but this is killing me. I wish I could be with him more than anything in the world but as soon as he finds out that's it....my dream...dead......finished
Also even if I go to a different college, it's inevitable that i'll bump into him whilst out and about anyway.(I just can’t believe that I DIDN’T THINK ABOUT THIS years ago….i just wasn’t thinking properly) But If I ignore him then he'll think I'm not interested i him, when I am. But if I talk to him he'll not like me anyway when he finds out what I've done. He'll think I;m a terrible person.
The thing is (and I really need your help on this) HOW ON EARTH DO I EXPLAIN TO HIM ABOUT HOW I REFUSED TO GO TO SCHOOL--AND WORST OF ALL WHY? HE'LL NOT THINK VERY WELL OF ME ONCE I'VE TOLD HIM. I'M not going to lie. I need him to know the truth.my other problem is that when I refused to go to school--s did my sister(only she didn't have a valid reason) she simply wouldn't go just because I was off school and didn't see why she should go either.HOW ON EARTG CAN I EXPLAIN TO HIM HOW MY SISTER IS NOW IN THE SAME SITUATION I'M IN?HE'LL THINK MY FAMILY ARE AWFUL. I AM 18 YEARS old now btw...and am getting severely worried about my future
THIS IS THE END OF EXPLAINING THE WHOLE SITUATION
. i JUST NEEDED TO FIND OUT THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION :
Do you think Ian ever loved me or just fancied me??? PLEASE HELP ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PLEASE COULD YOU REPLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM REALLY NOT UNDERSTANDING HIM!!!! can you offer me any advice?? Did he love me?? Do boys love girls in a different sort of way to what girls love boys?? Or did he simply not love me?? His comments are confusing.PLEASE HELP!!!!! Did he love me.......or not...? This is really important to me. PLEASE be honest!!!!!!!
I also have another question: it's just I have thought about asking Ian if he would consider going out with me when he comes back from University.(by which time I might have been able to catch up a bit in college and might not be so dim) What do you think about this idea?
Also I really need to ask you: What could/should i have done when I first started high school and got seperated from/lost ian? How could I have held on to him? please be honest. what things could I have tried to hold on to him? :
PLEASE HELP ME ON THIS AS IT IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by the way i live in England. I am so so sorry this writing is so long by the way :( but please could you help
Post Points: 5
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Wow. Okay, go to school where you want to and if thats where Ian is so be it. GO THERE. It's been a long time it seems since you've last seen Ian so he may not ask a bunch of questions on why you didn't go to school. He might not think you are awful. I think you may be over-analyzing the situation. You were upset all of the time, so upset that it kept you in bed from going to school. Depression isn't something to be ashamed of. And to answer one of your last questions "How could I have held onto him?" Here's something..you can't hold onto someone that doesn't want to be held onto. I think over the past years you've been thinking about it too much. Stop living for Ian. There are so many men out in the world that would love to be with you, I'm sure! Ian isn't the only one. It's been a long time, Ian may have changed a lot! He may not be the same person he used to be. He could be mean now. He could be nice now. You don't know yet! So go to college. If you see Ian talk to him, get to know him again, and if he is still a good person than let him know you are interested in him. If he's not a good person stop wasting your life thinking about him. Don't let this boy ruin anymore of your life. Don't let one boy have all of the fun!
i hope things work out.
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okay this is going to be long but plz i need the help! okay throughout my whole life i have never known my dad because he has been in jail for like ever! he was in jail because he abused my mom and almost killed her. but i really wanna know him...he is out of jail right now and is not allowed to come around me...but recently my dad seen my aunt and told my aunt to tell me he loved me but im not suppose to know this......i only know because i overheard my aunt on the phone with my mom and my mom doesnt want her to tell me and my mom doesnt want me around my dad. 4 years ago...he was out of jail i think and as i was walking home from school my aunt from my dad's side was in a car parked on the street waiting for me to walk by and as i did she started asking me questions like if i remember my dad and stuff. so like my dad or that aunt on my dads side would have had to been like watching me and to know if i still lived there and to know what time i got out from school. then like a year after that happened we had a court date which i went to and my dad never showed up for the court date so my mom has custody of me. now like a couple of months ago i was with my mom in the store and my mom saw my dad in there and told me that was my dad....my dad saw me and my mom but he like turned around and walked the other way as if he didnt want to see me or he was just shocked or scared that i would hate him.....my mom almost went crazy in that store when she saw him she started cussing and everyhting lol. but my question is now does it seem like he wants to see me....and is it wrong for me to want to know him even though he almost killed my mom.....whenever he was in jail he would always send me stuff but my mom never gave me them things...she would throw them away...except she did let me keep this little purse with my name on it....please help me i am so confeused about all of this....it's really hard not having a dad. but is it wrong for me to want to know him and does it seem like he wants to see me? thank you so much (link)
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I don't think it's wrong for you to want to know him. Of course you'd want to know your dad! But I do think that if he was in jail for almost killing your mom there may be very vaild reasons for you to not know him. I do believe people can change but in this situation I think you need to be very careful. This is the man that caused your mom alot of pain in her life and she is probably terrified her could come back and do it again but with you. I think that your dad does want to see you. He sends you things and it seems that he had tried to be apart of your life, but he did miss his court date. I think it could be a good thing for you to know your dad but only if the courts say its okay and that you have someone with you at all times. But to answer your questions specifically, don't think you are wrong because you wonder about your father. You definitely aren't. But I don't think anyone can really tell you if he wants to see you except for him.
I hope you get the answers you are looking for and everything works out for you.
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ok.. i have an 8 year old sister & she is very developed 4 her age. if u know wht i mean.. and she has a boyfriend who is 14.. which is not so unusual cuz she always dates older guys.. well.. my parents dont know about this boyfriend of hers.. so it is even worse.. she makes out with him all the time.. adn i dont have a problem with that.. but last week she decided to have sex.. and now shes preganat! what do i do??? (link)
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If she is pregnant or not tell your parents. If she is making out with a 14 year old tell your parents. If she even has a 14 year old boyfriend tell your parents. If she is just telling you these things and you have no proof of any of it tell your parents. If she is telling you these things and she could even be lying tell your parents. All of what you said is not normal for an 8 year old to go through. It almost sounds like your sister needs some sort of therapy, or you do. To be honest with you I don't actually believe you and if I'm wrong understand where I am coming from because this is a very outlandish story. If I'm wrong, sorry and your sister needs help from adults. Neither of you would be able to handle this alone.
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ok so i REALLY wanna be in cheer/and dance. kuz i love to cheer and dance. although i've never been in any groups or anything like that. well..... my problem is: i just recently turned 13 and i weigh about 140. i know thats absoloutly terrible!!!! tell me what i can do to lose about 20 to 30 pounds. do u think i can be in a after school program, or something like that for dance and cheer right now? do you know any good, healty ways to lose weight? and do you know any sites or links for cheer?
as much help as possible please!!!! (link)
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cheerleading and dance are actually great ways to lose weight all by themselves. But if you can't do that I'd recommend a good cardio workout. You could walk for 1 hour each day. And eat breakfast, that will start up your metabolism and you'll burn more calories for the rest of the day. If you skip breakfast you are more apt to gain weight. Eat something light and healthy for breakfast like yogurt and cheerios with skim milk. But realize that if you are going to lose weight the healthy way it will take some time to lose 20-30 pounds. But 140 isn't alot, especially if you are tall (i don't know if you are). Good luck!
Sarah
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okay i'm 13 and i havn't had my period yet. i live with my dad so its really hard to bring up that subject, and i cant shave my legs because,again it hard to bring up the subject. i have air under my arms, and i'm guessing i should be shaving...but how do i bring up tht subject. what should i do? i cant go to anyone else either.
thanks in advance
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Well, with the period thing that is just one of those things you are going to have to push yourself through. When I got my period I was 11 and very shy. I couldn't even bring that stuff up to my mom but I just had to go ahead and do it. And when you tell your dad, I really doubt he'll ask questions. I've noticed that men kind of get freaked out by the whole period issue. I think he realizes that you are getting older and he's taken that aspect of your life into account and knows it's coming soon too though. You don't even have to necessarily say "hey dad, i got my period" you could say something like "hey dad do you think i could have $10 for girl things?" he'll probably know what you are trying to say.
Ahh shaving. I also know how you feel on that one. I don't know why for some girls it's embarrassing but it is! It was for me! If you are the humorous type you could lighten up with situation by making a joke about it. You could tell him you feel like a french woman and/or gorilla and it's about time you got some shaving equipment. Or you could show him your under arms and tell him it's not becoming of a young lady. I really doubt that if you ask him to buy a razor and some shaving cream he'll think your odd or anything. For adults that tends not to be an akward subject. Don't sweat it too much!
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[14/f]
when i was 12 i noticed the hair on my arm was growing and there was more of it, so i figured i could get rid of it the same way i get rid of my leg hair, by shaving it. Well I did and I regret it now because the hair keeps growing back darker and thicker and I have to keep shaving them since its so dark. Is there anything I can do to stop the hairs from growing in as dark and thick as they are? Or am I screwed for life? (link)
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This may be painful but if you wax the hair on your arms it will not grow back as quickly and after you do it several times it won't grow back at all but several will be alot of times.
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Okay I still have feelings for my ex boyfriend but i don't want to be wit him (if that makes any sense) I mean its like i can't even bring myself to get closer to other boys or anybody for that matter because i guess i'm scared that the same thing will happend...I mean sometimes i realize that he did me wrong but lately all i remember is the good time we had together...I guess i jus need help on how to handle the situation or do i still need time to move on or watever i mean its been i think 3 or 4 maybe 5 months? I really need help so if you can't be real wit me then don't leave anything thanks! (link)
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I know where you are coming from on this because I've been there in the past. It's taken me almost two years to lose the feelings I once had for this person. There is no magical way to just get over a person. The only thing that actually works is waiting and going on with your life. I do recommend just staying away from him for awhile or getting a hobby that needs your full attention. I do karate and I've learned some wonderful life lessons in it including how to respect myself. For the longest time I thought the reason he dumped me was because I wasn't good enough for him. I used to go out of my way everyday just because I thought if I was there and if I did everything for him he'd come around. And to tell you the truth, he did come around again but he didn't respect me. And in the end I didn't respect me. So, to be honest with you I think you should move on. If he left you feeling awful then he's not the type of person you should be dating. There is someone out there that won't leave you. And you'll have even more great times with him.
I was scared too that the same thing would happen. So I shyed away from dating and I began putting off this "i hate men" attitude. Apparantly, boys react to that and stop paying attention to girls they don't think they can have. Don't ruin what you could have in the future because one stupid boy left you. He really isn't worth it if he isn't with you now.
I sincerely hope things work out for you and one day you feel better about all of this :)
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