I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I'm a good person with a big heart, a free spirit and I'm beautiful but never thought so in the past.. I've had an inferiority complex most of my life. I'm very independent, a trend setter and never acted my age. All throughout my life I've been spoken to and/or treated mean and I'm a sensitive, cry at the drop of a pin girl. Why do people do that? (link)
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Trauma. If people have continually treated you in the manner that you mention and you internalize it and place blame on yourself rather than others for it that will eat at you until you counter it by knowing who you are inside. You can't define yourself by what others may say.
They're projecting who they are on to you. What they have done says way more about where they are at and what they're about than you. You don't have to take crap from anyone and need to start pushing back.
I think that you cry as a release and only ability to get this stuff out. That's natural but doing it all the time at the drop of a hat isn't. I think you would benefit from talking to a professional who can help you learn ways to deal with this and move forward.
You need to see yourself as you really are and not from looking through a dirty window. Picture your student ID card or a driver's license. If the picture gets a smudge on it or gets something like mud on it and covered does that picture of the real you not exist anymore?
You're letting the real you take a backseat to all this muck that has been thrown on you. Just like the driver's license it can't hurt you if you know what the real you is all about and looks like. You are beautiful and always have been, your big heart, free spirit, independence, trend setting etc etc. is who you really are. Realize that and nothing can stop you.
The other thing you have going for you is that you are an intellectual and well, most teens aren't. You're very smart and that's why you identify more with people who are older. You should do fine in college.
I think what you really need is a professional who can help you work through all of this and deal with the inferiority you constantly feel and give you the tools you need to combat that and have a thicker skin in the end that nobody can say or do anything to tear you down. If you have that outlet and the ability to purge this stuff from your thinking you'll be fine.
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I need to know if my marriage is binding. My hubby used his non-legal Ca Drivers license to show proof of ID when we got married in 1997. When I tried getting a copy of our marriage certificate there wasn't any. Under both our names, there isn't any work tax or driving records under my hubby's non-legal biological name only under his adoptive last name. The judge took that from him for his 6th felony DUI and so got a new license, which after DMV finally figured it out after 26 yrs suspended that as well (link)
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An even bigger question is why would he use a false document in the first place to get married or for anything else? You can no doubt find a lot of trouble for using it. Is your marriage legal? There have been court cases like this especially in Ontario, Canada where the judge ruled that it was not because the person was living under false identity.
Why are you guys breaking the law to begin with and hiding who you are? If the DMV has suspended his license after 26 years and figured out he's not using his real name than that isn't right.
If someone has committed 6 DUI's there's a problem there especially if he tried and got a license with a false name on purpose. Your morals not your marriage documents is more important. There's lessons here to be learned that frankly haven't.
If you want to know if everything is legal I would consult a lawyer and tell them the truth about what went on in '97 the DUI's and use of false ID and let them figure out where you legally stand. In the meantime please use your real identity from hereon out.
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So my best friend is moving to a new house and it's not optional, I really need some advice because there are only two house options that she can choose from in our town and she doesn´t want to move to one of the houses that she can choose from! Of the other house she likes cancels, she´ll have to move to a house beside a barn. The poor girl is traumatized and I really need some help! I need this advice before February 1st and I also need this because if she moves, I´ll lose MY only best friend! I NEED this advice for her! Please help! (link)
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It's a situation that you can't dictate nor can she choose. While it's past Feb. 1st and her parents ultimately choose based on their financial and other circumstances nobody said you had to lose a friend.
If you live in the same town you might not see her
as often as before but will still have the ability to she one another and can reach one another by car or transit. You just have to adapt to the situation and point this out to her.
As far as her being traumatized you need to drive home that this is a new opportunity and adventure where a lot of good things can happen and new people and things to explore and that the world isn't ending. Tell her what I told you about still being friends and have your parents and hers talk to her about this. I'm sure it will all work out in the end.
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Gosh, being bi is so confusing and it tears me apart thinking about it, my friends, a lot of them are homophobic. It sucks to know that even if I ever gather up the courage to come out, I’ll be alone. I don’t want to be involved w/homophobic people because I’m literally bi and also, i have a moral compass. But I’m too scared to be alone without them. Especially hazel, she’s the closest to me but because of “her religion” (in her words) she’s one of those “I dOn’T aGrEe wItH thE lIfeStylE” but it’s so complicated. Is it just religion? Is that even a justifiable reason? But it fricking sucks knowing my closest friends of 4 yrs would leave me just because I like girls (and boys).... I guess in the end, my question is as simple as, what should I do? (link)
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Be who you are and know who are deep down and don't be miserable for a second. If others can't accept you tough shit. They are the one's with the problem not you and they'll have to learn on their own damn time. If you don't do that you will be miserable and dragged down by idiots.
This is a test really where you have to look inward and discover yourself and what you don't want or need. Then you must cast out people who aren't really friends and are judgmental and seek the support of those where it doesn't matter. There are tons of support groups for LGBTQ youth out there where you can make friends and get support if you reach out.
There are a lot of people out there that call themselves Christians and are fanatical about it but have no idea about God or following Jesus's teaching and principles. He never cast annyone out but rather healed them instead.
Hazel and her family haven't figured this out. Quite frankly she's someone who doesn't think for herself and is following what other adults in her life believe of have taught her to.
Neither she not anyone else has to "agree with your lifestyle" or being gay or bisexual at all. It's about you and not them. If she's a true friend it doesn't matter. All that matters is a label that she didn't know about until you told her. If she changes towards you trust me you don't need her around. It's not a justifiable thing.
The thing about this is that you and you alone have the decision and choice over who you tell about your sexual orientation because it's nobody else's business. School may not be the best place to be out as unfortunately it puts a target on your back for every bigot and homophobic person there.
You really don't have to come out to anyone unless you really feel it necessary to do so. You can be friends with these people and their not knowing but if you think they'll only ditch you later don't. Life is too short to spend a second of it being miserable.
You really have to do some house cleaning her and discover who you are, where you are going, what you need and whether certain people should be in your circle. That's hard to do.
There is no reason you can't find friends or have them if these people don't work out. There's always clubs, student council, theater or other places you can turn.
As I mentioned there are groups for LGBTQ youth that you should research for support and can be found on the Internet.
While you don't need therapy it wouldn't hurt to find a teacher or school counselor or child/youth worker at school to talk about what is going on and get support there too.
Once you establish that support network there will be nothing in your way and confidence will develop. You just need to take that first step forward. You are going to find lasting friends. Don't fret.
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I am terrified of dying. I don't believe in after life or second Life. I think we only have one life. Whenever I think about it I think one life is way too short. I know it's stupid but I keep hoping there will be some invention which will make us live much much longer. I am 22 and am so lucky that I have not experienced of death of anyone near me but I am scared of it so much. Specially my parents I know it's inevitable but it terrifies me. I have to go out of my way to keep busy to avoid thinking about it cause whenever I do my heart starts racing really fast, my chest starts to feel heavy like something heavy is weighing me down and my thoughts start racing and I can't stop it. Is there any way to ease this fear" (link)
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When you are 22-years-old you shouldn't be thinking or consumed with death or people around you dying. This fear comes from somewhere be it a repressed memory or something you have experienced and suddenly that's taken center stage. If you can pinpoint the real reason behind the constant fear you can push it aside. You need to talk to someone about it perhaps a therapist.
It's easy to be scared of the unknown or what seems final. I like to look at death like this. Picture a globe and a sailing ship on the ocean approaching the horizon line. The ship suddenly goes over the horizon and you can't see it anymore. Where did it go? It didn't fall off the edge of the world but your eyes couldn't see it anymore.
That's what death is like to me. I believe there is something more to be experienced. Science is even questionining it because enough people who have had near death experiences all seem to experience the same warmth, light and instructions before coming back. They can't all be discredited.
When people have surgery or an emergency where they are put under and or die on table to come back where do they go during that time? The fact is being afraid of death to the point it makes you sick or really anxious is bad.
You do have the right approach about life to assume it's all you have to work with and to fill it with all you can or acheive and learn all you can. That's all anyone can do. You need to talk to someone about your fears so it's not something you're totally consumed with or suffering panic attacks over.
Is there something in your own life that has you thinking you or others could die? That's probably at the heart of the fear and the panic attack feelings you've been having. Maybe you're unesy over something that's happened with yourself or others.
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Do some apartments accept people if they haven't been on a job for a year? (link)
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My parents used to rent out apartments. The most important thing of all is your credit history. If a check comes back that you're a risk for not paying rent because of a low score that will kill everything there. They need to see you have great finances.
They do look at your employment history. You could mention that you just started a new job but have worked consistently and at other jobs and bring your resume to the interview for the apartment. If they see that you're not job to job and can't hold on to one things may be fine.
The second most important thing is to be honest in your interview and give the impression that you are very responsible. We always tried to weed out people we thought were irresponsible, possible addicts and or potential problems that could irritate neighbors and try to see if they have issues with police and prior landlords. You need references.
I will be honest most people renting out apartments tend not to want to rent to young people. Make sure you present well at the interview and that they gain the right perception of you. That and as I said above a credit check is what can seal fate either way.
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I'm a 16 year old girl and last night I wet the bed. Who the fuck still wets the bed when they're in high school??!?? Me, apparently. And this isn't the first time, it's the second. The first time was last month. Fortunately, no one knows about this (and hopefully it'll stay that way). But I know something must be wrong for this to be happening. I don't know what though. I'm not losing bladder control when I'm awake. It's only when I'm asleep. So what does that mean? Help!!!! (link)
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Have you noticed any problems when you urinate that weren't happening before such as pain or straining? One reason for adults wetting bed could be because of diabetes (on set), a kidney stone blocking normal ability to release urine or it could be a UTI or even a new medicine causing the issue or sleep and other disorders according to the Mayo Clinic web site.
It's more common than you think because people don't want to talk about it. Doctors have seen and heard everything including this a lot over course of career. What you need to do is book an appointment about it and see what they say the cause is so you can nip it in the bud so it only occurs twice.
None of this is your fault and may be a medical issue in which you can get corrected or under control upon talking with doctor about the source.
Also, if it is urine the one thing you shouldn't do is drink before bed especially if you think your body isn't reminding you to get up and go to the bathroom. Try eliminating having fluids at night period.
The only other thing I can think of is that is a long shot perhaps what you think is urine on sheets isn't. You've probably heard in sex-ed classes about wet dreams and males ejaculating during sleep as normal. What they don't focus on is that these kinds of dreams can happen to females if aroused during sleep. While you won't ejaculate there is vaginal fluids and lubrication secreted so that may be what you see on your underwear and bedding. That's no big deal and normal either way. I hope this helps you and covers all angles.
Once you talk to a doctor things will become clearer on what to do and the direct cause. I wouldn't be embarrased over something you couldn't control either.
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I used to have this raised freckle in the middle of my stomach. I picked it off all the way but now there is a big round scab instead. Once the scab goes away will there be regular skin or will the freckle come back? (link)
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I'm not sure. That may not be the answer you are looking for but there's another issue you need to look into. Any time there is a raised mole, freckle or bump that didn't exist before but does now you ought to point it out to a doctor.
Have a dermatologist look at it because it could be a problem that isn't normal and needs to be looked at. I'm not out to scare you but if you have something raised like that and if it turns color or looks bigger than it's not right for it to be on your body.
You may have picked off part of it and it could have a scab or return to looking the exact same way as before and be a problem. It may well be benign but if it continues to look the same ask a doctor about it and whether or not it's just a freckle. Feckles and moles tend to be flat and not raised. You can get them on any body part. Hopefully, that's all you are dealing with.
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I'm an 18 year old girl from the UK- but I don't wear makeup or anything, I don't drink, I rarely ever wear dresses, and I don't do anything to my eyebrows either- so I kind of feel left out when conversations about makeup, fashion or partying comes up.
My friends find it really strange- they're like 'how can you be confident enough not to wear makeup?'- but it's nothing to do with confidence why I don't wear it, it's just something that's never appealed to me. I'm not a very confident person full stop, I'm very shy- so it annoys me when people confuse the two.
And they've also all, since becoming 18, transformed into massive extroverts who drink regularly- whilst they were previously very introverted like myself, and I don't know why they've suddenly changed. 18 is the legal drinking age in the United Kingdom, but they're too much of party animals for my liking these days- do you think I should stop hanging around with them? They often wonder how I can have fun at parties without drinking, and I just find that a sad mindset and am kind of sad to see that they've changed so much. (link)
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You really have to separate their behavior from whether or not they are decent friends despite it. If you have doubts about whether they are good friends or worth your time odds are you need to move forward if you no longer have anything in common. If they are good friends to you despite the behavior than you can look past that provided they check the boxes so to speak aside from when they go to parties.
There's nothing wrong with you at all. If you don't want to wear makeup, dresses or dress like everyone else that's fine. You don't have to. It's about what you feel comfortable with and not what anyone else does. For you this is what works. It has nothing to do with confidence either but more about what you like and what you don't and that's fine. You aren't out to satisfy others but rather yourself.
You're actually quite smart to realize that getting drunk all the time or stoned and partying constantly is not a good lifestyle. There are many people who don't drink at your age or older. They just don't do it nor talk about that choice. You don't have to justify it to them or anyone else.
There's a lot of great reasons not to drink or do drugs. The most important one is always being in control and able to make sound decisions and not to become dependent on it. A lot of people don't drink because addiction is common in their family or for religous reasons see Christian Scientists for example. Whatever your reason it'sa personal one and totally fine. Again you need not justify that choice to anyone. It's what works for you and that's all that matters.
You don't need to wear makeup, dress differently or drink to be accepted by anyone. If they don't accept you because of your choices than they aren't worth your time. Never compromise for other people. You can easily find other friends who accept you for who you are.
The fact of the matter is that these girls are still introverts and not seure in who they are or sure of themselves. They take to drinking, partying and whatever else because they feel it's the only way to fit in with people. Odds are they hate what they are doing and don't feel good inside.
If they raise this topic again with you point out that you don't have to do any of this stuff to feel good about yourself or have friends and that for you drinking, partying and wearing makeup just doesn't appeal to you. That's all their is to it.
You can meet people who like you for you and don't care if you drink or not just about anywhere. Try joining drama, student council or clubs at school and outside of it and look to those who aren't making friends easily as more often than not they're the best people to align with. Drama and improv in particular forces people who ordinarily have nothing in common to have to work together to problem solve. It would be very good for you.
You may not be religious nor have to be to attend church and join youth groups because the kids in them usually don't drink nor party like the people you mentioned do.
Even better you could volunteer at MADD and meet people who share your views on partying and alcohol there and make a difference while you are at it. While not an alcoholic or someone that has addiction try Al-Anon for teens and ask people who run it in your area about not fitting in with anyone because you don't drink and ask how do you meet and support people your age that feel the same way.
They may have ideas for meeting more wholesome people and helping others in process. It's worth a phone call and it's always anonymous. See what happens when you reach out to both organizations. Just be you and if anyone has an issue with that then they're not worth your time and effort.
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I'm not aware of anyone hear as any knowledge about dream meanings, but this one is weighing heavy on me. I have constant (like every or every other night) dreams that my sister has introduced us to a new boyfriend of hers whether my reaction in the dream to the person is good or bad, I am intrigued to know why am I dreaming this, and what does it mean I need to change or whatever? Also if anyone doesn’t know can I get referred to someone who might? (link)
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Dreams are thought pictures. When you go to bed at night your brain doesn't shut off it's still active. Whatever you are thinking about be it pleasant or extremely afraid of or doubting it's all there and manifests itself into pictures that form dreams. It's also stuff you bury subsconciously that you see as well typically but not always in nightmare format. It really isn't anything to be upset by and it's not something that is going to come true in real life.
In terms of the sister maybe you have feelings deep down about disappointing her or having a bad reaction to something she's done and what she would do. It could be that or that there is something bothering you about your relationship now and it not being as tight as it should. There is probably real life doubt about something in your relationship. Perhaps if you spoke to her about that the dreams would ease. Maybe you should tell her what you constantly dream about and once you have it can no longer affect your thinking. That's all it is your thinking or fears in pictures we call dreams. When you change your thinking or thoughts you don't get the same visions.
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I want to start by saying that part of this question is actually going to sound arrogant and I apologize for that, but here goes.
I grew up with a verbally abusive father who made me feel like a worthless piece of trash sometimes. I also went through a horrible awkward stage in middle school and my classmates made me feel like an ugly, disgusting monster. I've been called a POS, a pathetic excuse for a human being, a waste of perfectly good air and other things along those lines. I'm afraid that these problems have caused me to suffer terrible self esteem issues which have negatively affected my quality of life.
For example, when I was in high school, a counselor gave me an IQ test, but didn't tell me the results. She told my mother about them later. This is one of the times that is going to sound arrogant. The counselor told my mom that my IQ was 140, but I'm having a very hard time wrapping my brain around that. 140 is a lot higher than I'd think it'd be. My dad always made me feel like a moron. I kind of always felt intelligent in some ways, but unintelligent in others. Like a combination of Brick and Axel Heck from, "The Middle." I'm good at history, but I suck at math. I've also always been interested in the weather and am good at meteorology and I'm decent at biology, but I suck at chemistry. I like to read, but as you'll probably learn in this writing, I don't have the best vocabulary. That and my dad's verbal abuse makes my IQ test results very hard for me to believe.
Now that I'm grown and have been out of my awkward stage for a while, I've developed some confidence when it comes to my appearance, but not a lot. The university I went to had this scholarship pageant every fall and once, this guy I know suggested that I enter it. I actually laughed at that suggestions and thought to myself, "He's either being really nice or he needs to get his eyes checked." These are not thoughts that I want to have about myself though.
Also, a friend of mine and I went to see the newer version of, "Beauty and the Beast" last spring and we both loved it. I made a joke about how much I'd have loved to have gotten to play Belle in the movie because the actor who played the Beast (the guy the Beast transformed into at the end) was so hot. My friend suggested that I could have played Belle, but know I couldn't have. Belle was supposed to be gorgeous. The movie is called, "Beauty and the Beast" after all. Playing Belle was one thing, but when I made a comment about how Emma Watson grew up prettier than I thought she'd be and wished I'd have grown out of my awkward stage that well, my friend (who has known me all of my life) rejected the notion that I ever went through an awkward stage. She lost all credibility to me at that point. Everyone seems to go through an awkward stage. Emma Watson was a cute kid, but she's a down right beautiful woman. I think of myself as a fugly kid who grew into a decent to slightly attractive woman at best and still tend to consider myself ugly at times. However, my friend didn't change her stance and while I can't help but to think that she was being nice. She did make me wonder though if maybe I am somewhat more attractive than I thought I was. I wonder if possibly I've been too hard on myself and wonder what would happen if I were more confident in regards to my appearance.
I wonder what would happen if I tried to be more confident, but I also fear becoming arrogant. I have a hard time judging myself properly and developing an appropriate opinion of myself. I feel like I'm always either going to be insecure as a result of others' negative opinions of me (such as that I'm ugly, stupid, or a POS) or arrogant as a result of other's positive opinions (such as that I am intelligent or could play Belle in Beauty and the Beast").
So what do you think? Am I too hard on myself? Am I not hard enough? I really do feel like this writing sounds arrogant, but I also feel like poor self esteem has ruined my life. What are your thoughts on my situation? (link)
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Right now you are seeing yourself through a window that has a ton of dirt on it obscuring the true image. You need to learn how to wipe it clean and see your true beauty and intelligence that has always been there. Your dad has a problem not you. You have always been far better than anyone may have led you to think. He needs a psychiatrist.
The best thing you can do for yourself is get a referral from a doctor to a mental health professional who will work with you through the pain and poor self image until you discover who you really are and can flourish. You don't need parental permission for that either. You can see one on your own and have it all confidential.
Why wouldn't you be intelligent? They wouldn't lie to you or your parents about your IQ score but if you can't believe the truth have it done again on your own. There's nothing wrong with your volcabulary either and you are quite articulate
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well i been heartbroken over this guy named josiah for 4-5 years, we were close and almost dated. he led me on and used me til didnt need me anymore, and is my first love, kiss who lost virginity to etc. we ent from talking alot flirting etc to all sudden it stopped. idk why still, and foundout from someone that is married now. i tried sending a friend request on facebook, playing it off as dont have these feelings still, but denied request but didnt block. want talk to him so badly, as did have a miscarriage of his child and never griefed properly as kept it from my family cause they lecture me about having feelings for him tho thats not something i can help , tried everything i could think of to move on, and now in a relationship with lance, who treats me like queen do care for just not as much as do josiah. he knows had thing for him in past, as told him how he hurted me badly emotionally dont think it was intentional tho cuase he's best guy i ever knew before lance. what should i do? and want make my current relationship work though im just settling for lance since cannot have josiah like we were... (link)
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It's been something you haven't been able to let go of for a long time even though he's become married to someone else. He sees you as the past and doesn't have any interest. He ignored your Facebook request hoping you would move along. He likely won't talk to you again
While it's not wrong to reach out to people it is if it's been this long, you know they are married and trying to tell yourself it wasn't because you still have feelings, You need to see a therapist because this isn't normal behavior at this point. Most people can move past this quickly but for years you have held on to this whereas you are a distant memory to him. For some reason you think you still have a chance or can pick up some form of relationship from him, Be honest..
I don't know what you think will happen if you try talking to this person either.. Why must you so badly? You're in a relationship now and bound to end up hurting yourself and the other person if you allow your past relationship and these feelings to invade your present.
You need to talk with a therapist and work through all of these issues and how you feel about your current relationship because the other person has moved on and you are to have been expected to by now.
You can't make this person come back to you, love you or make it the way it once was expecially if he is married and has moved on in life. That's not reality and nothing would give you that. There's nothing you can do to change this fact. I think that's what you are unable to grasp and it is a problem.
The guy was hoping you would move on and didn't block you out of being nice and or wanted to monitor what you were doing in trying to reach him and motivation why. You didn't do anything inappropriate or abusive yet so blocking you wasn't necessary unless you wouldn't leave him alone. But yes, you have to chuck these feelings for him and learn how to finally move forward. If you can't do it alone therapy will help.
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I keep cheating with unhealthy food each day. Tomorrow I'll start over, but I wanted to know if anyone had any tips and advice on how to strictly stay on my diet. (link)
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There is NO tomorrow there is only right now. You have to get with your diet now or you'll have countless false starts and not get where you want. If you keep re-setting every day then there's no point. It's tough and you need to ask yourself how badly do you want it? Right now there's no commitment or burning passion or desire there. There's no real goal associated with the diet. That's why you aren't making progress.
You really have to think that you want to be healthy, free of diabetes and to weigh the proper amount and be happy as your goal and stick to the healthy eating. Any time you wind up where you have a choice of healthy food or junk remind yourself of where you really want to get to and walk away and do something to distract yourself if need be. When you say NO to that voice in your head a few times it will soon become automatic and you won't gravitate to wanting it.
While your healthy diet is a strict one you don't need to be absolutely frigging miserable on it or feeling left out. There are creative ways to make really tasty dishes you would like with the restrictions you have. You just need to search for recipies and start experimenting in the kitchen until you can get it down to things you actually want to eat.
You should see a dietitian or a nutritionist for this. They may find healthy recipies to create some of the same exact things you love but in a different way that meets all the requirements of the diet. Reach out to one through your doctor.
You also need exercise daily be it walking, biking or swimming or in a gym as that along with diet will get you in the healthy zone they want you to reach faster and something you can sustain long term without hiccups.
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thankyou for reading this and
idk from where i should start...
i'm just gonna tell you everything that has happened with me over the last couple of years..
i lost my dad when i was 12
he was a very good person he took such good care of us...he died of cancer even though he never smoke or did drinking or any such sort of bad habits
and i lost "ME" the day i lost my dad and i am realizing it now as i start to think...
and after that we had to move to my grandfather's place as we had no one to take care of us
we had money though not like huge but it was enough my dad had worked very hard for every penny
and my grandfather helped my mom to build an apartment with the money we had and he also helped her a lot by lending money to my mother
and just 2 years ago our apartment got finished and also my Grandfather passed away in 2015
i can't take all of this really it is hurts me a lot alll these stuff i loved my Grandfather so much he was a very good person
and all my mother also cries everynight just thinking about what happened to my dad and grandfather
and my after i lost my grandpa i almost lost every family member as they started to show their true nature
the whole family and everyone was ...i don't even feel like talking about them
they were acting as if they are very nice and sweet when my grandpa was there and now that he's gone everyone is just yeah showing what they truly are....
i really don't know how to tell all the little stuff that cause the most pain....
that they all do.
i let all these things into my head and yeah i lost it ...
i didn't write my exam last year and i wasted an year and now i am at home everyday
sad ..and feeling lonely
but i took the re-exam december and i know i am not gonna pass because i don't like studying
i feel all these stuff is made by us
Go to school...
Study hard...
get good marks...
get a job at a place that gives you boat load of money...
marry a girl...
have kids....
i mean i am just tired of all these stuff
i don't know what to do with my life
and yeah i am also in love with a 21 year old girl(long distance)
met her online she is really very sweet
i have never met anyone like her till now
and i really just love her a lot
but ....
i told my mom about this thinking that she would help me to get together with this girl
( yah i'm an idiot i know )
but my mom denied(obiviously)
recently things haven't been good
it never has been good in my case
the girl i love also hasn't texted me back in couple of weeks and i am just Holding on
just Holding On...
i really don't know when i am gonna loose the Grip...
i really feel like dying
but..
yeah i also don't wanna Give up
people are usually like think about your mother and all the pain she's been through...
i really feel her pain
but..
they wouldn't say the same thing if they saw the world they way i see it
and wouldn't say these things if i saw the world the way they see it !
i am such an idiot !
i hate ME
i don't like me at all...
i just don't wanna live
but..
Hope is all i Got !
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Your issue has to do with having suffered a lot of trauma but keeping it all internal and never really taking it full on and learning how to work through the crap and purge these feelings. It's continuing to do a constant number on you and that's not good at all.
Like the poster below mentioned none of this is your fault. You may have temporarily "lost me" all those years ago. Now, is the time to see your real self and live again. This is what your grandfather and father would want of and for you. Take what they taught you and build on it and become even better than you thought.
The first step is to tell someone you trust how you feel inside all the time and ask them to find you a doctor and a therapist to talk to about depression and what you feel inside confidentially and learn how to work through it and gradually rebuild your life.
You will see over time that thoughts of wanting to die, thinking you're useless, an idiot and hating yourself is part and parcel with depression and other mental trauma (illnesses) which is okay if you have by the way. You'll learn how to override the bogus claims it is making and defeat them. It's not easy to live with but your life can be so much better by making the first step and telling a teacher, parent, relation, friend or an adult who can get you professional help. Then, just watch as things gradually become better. You have a ton to gain and to give even if you can't see it.
That's the problem with depression or any mental illness the reality of who you are is often distorted and until you are helped you won't be able to see that there is a brighter future.
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i am 14 as well and i've been so insecure about panty lines since the 6th grade. I absolutely hate them and they make me feel feel uncomfortable.Its something that would just make me feel a lot more confident and less embarassed. I even cut up my normal underwear attempting to make thongs. Yea some of my friends wear them. It influences me in a way. I want them for me and not to show off to friends or boys. Im not like that and i never will be. Im a straight a student at the moment and a competitve soccer player. My parents trust me and i trust them. Why do they think the type of under wear i wear will make me magically a slut? My friend bought me some thongs and just normal under wear from PINK. They were super cute. Before this, i didnt know my parents felt so strong about thongs and i thought it was ok since so many of my friends wear them. My mom was moving over my laundry and found a thong. She got very upset thinking i was hiding it from her. I told her my friend got them for me and she thought i was lying. I started crying because i wasn lying and if i knew how she felt i would have told her about it. I was so happy to not feel so insecure about my panty line and she took them away from me. (link)
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Is there an adult female or even someone a few years older than you ie a sibling that mom respects and listens to and you trust? If so, I would enlist their help. Have them explain to her that you lack self confidence about pantyline and feel very insecure and upset and that a thong makes you feel confident.
They can also drive home that you have god character and that a pair of underwear regardless of style won't make you interested in sex or doing what you shouldn't with boys.
Better yet talk to your friend's mom about all of this and what your mom did when your friend bought you said underwear and about your self-esteem. If she sees that your friend isn't magically a slut maybe she'll see it your way and understand from another mom why it's a non issue in their house.
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I was at a music festival recently and I was quite drunk and someone I know gave me half a cider to drink as he didn't want it anymore. I asked why and he said 'oh there's some cocaine in it'. I laughed and so did he so I assumed it was a joke so drank it. At the time I didn't think anything of it but later on I thought back and realised I was acting very hyper and not like I usually am when I'm drunk, and the next day I felt like I was on a massive comedown and didn't want to talk or move or eat for hours (like MDMA, pills, speed comedown etc), so maybe there was something in the drink, but I'm not sure! How does alcohol and cocaine make you feel? Could I have done that accidentally? (link)
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As someone who is manic depressive I can tell you it's akin to an episode of mania (Google that term). When a bipolar episode happens the brain has the same reaction patterns as a cocaine high does. In bipolar people you can't come down for days, weeks without medical help.
If using actual cocaine you will experience an epic high, have zero focus, no ability to sleep at all, grandiose thinking, poor decisions and an inability to come down for some time, overly confidence, talking way to fast, more apt to be turned on, no appetite and inability to sleep. In addition you will have thoughts run through your brain at constant speed of a train.
The fact is you have no idea what was in that drink. The guy may have been a friend but not really if he's giving you a cup like that and you are sure something was in it. As I advise anyone NEVER drink from a cup a bartender or yourself didn't pour. Always open your own can too and make sure you aren't put in this position again. You can only ever trust yourself at a party.
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Hi.. 17 F..
I have dark brown long'ish hair, blue eyes and I wear glasses. I'm a bit overweight. I can't seem to find love?.. personally I don't think I'm that ugly but I don't think I'm gorgeous either. I can't flirt and is a bit shy. I have straight white teeth and a full mouth. I am really depressed because I feel loanly. Please help me? I like this boy at our church but he doesn't even look at me.. he is also a bit shy.. what should I do? (link)
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You need to stop seeing yourself through a fun house mirror or better put through a mirror with a ton of mud on it. You have to cut through the negative and erroneous thoughts about yourself with laser like precision and counter with all the good qualities you possess including inner and outer beauty.
A teacher once taught me to have an index card or a piece of paper folded up in wallet, purse, whatever where it could constantly be accessed. On it right down all the positive qualities you possess and consider it your ID card. Even if dropped in a puddle what's on that paper is always true. You have to claim it as yours daily.
Everyone and I do men everyone is worthy of being loved or having a relationship with someone. The fact you have yet to find that person is okay. It will happen but it's hard for guys to notice you or approach because you are introverted and they can sense not at all confident.
A potential suitor will like you for you not for your stature, won't give a shit about glasses or superficial things. I highly doubt you are ugly and a few extra pounds does not make you undesirable either. It's your personality that people will gravitate to if you allow them. Drop the guard you have up.
If you like the boy from church introduce yourself and tell him you noticed he was your age and that it's difficult to meet people who would make good friends to hang out with. Ask if he would be willing to be yours and hang out sometime or if he's in to hanging out with you and friends. That will help you at least get a friend that could over time develop. The fact he also is shy and awkward is a good thing as he may be relieved you reached out.
I think the other thing you need is a therapist to help you with your false view of self and having self esteem. They can pinpoint why you are so introverted and intimidated by others and can address depression once a psychiatrist diagnoses it. You definitely should see a doctor about it for it could make you feel a ton better than you do now.
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I want to go to Disney in a few months for my birthday, and I live roughly 20 hours away from it (I would take a plane). Is it worth going alone? Probably not right? I've wanted to go to Disney for my birthday for as long as I can remember, and it's a pretty special birthday to me. If anyone knows what I should do (I've asked my friends already, and they don't know if they can). Disney can just be so expensive but I've been working my butt of for this because I want it very badly. I would appreciate it very much if someone can give me some advice on what to do. Thanks! (link)
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Never deny yourself the opportunity to experience anything EVER especially if friends aren't in to it. Believe me you will miss tons and regret it. If you have always had a goal of going to Disney and this is what you want fr your birthday than do it and enjoy it.
Believe me you can on your own and perhaps even more without the friend's not wanting to be there. This is your quest and it has meaning to you so go forth and do it. You will find there's tons to take in and enjoy even by yourself. If you want it badly make it happen for yourself. Be sure to research this thoroughly, vet all travel agents, compare pricing for airfare and packages and choose something that fits your budget and desires.
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A few weeks back, my father bought me a plane ticket to Pennsylvania so i can visit my LDR partner of 6 months. (I'm 16 y/o)
My mom doesn't want me to go, since i would be traveling alone and would be staying with them for almost a week by myself, and we've never met offline before (I've known them for just about a year online and we have video chatted on skype countless times and both my dad and i have met their mother and spoken with her more than once). My parents are divorced and i stay with my dad practically full time, even though i'm not supposed to, but i'll get into that later. Anyways, this is why my mother was not included in the decision of purchasing the plane ticket in the first place.
My mother got a judgement at the court house saying that I'm not allowed to leave the state, to prevent me from going. However, my dad spoke with lawyer who said that my mother made it sound like my dad and i are trying to move to PA, which is how she got the judgement, and that if we explain what's really going on that I should be allowed to go. We have a court date in 11 days (as of july 4th) to decide if i will be allowed to leave the state.
What i'm concerned about, is that i believe my mother has told the judge that we have not been following the custody arrangement (due to my dad helping me escape her abusive household, although she did not tell him that), and i'm worried that because of that, the judge will want to punish us and say i cannot go to PA because we haven't been following the custody arrangement. Could this happen? Is it likely to happen? What does the outcome look like it might be? (I'd prefer answers from people who have experience with this sort of thing, but all answers are welcome) Thank you very much!!
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You need to understand that the judge is YOUR advocate and to protect you. Any ruling they have made is from their view of the facts of your case and what they feel protects you best. Some of these issues are ones you may not be aware of him having heard if you weren't physically present.
The judge has placed a no travel ban on you so that your father who doesn't have sole custody cannot abduct you and take you out of state and out of country and deny your mother her legal rights to see and have joint custody of you.
It doesn't matter what you think of her the law says she has that right. You may not be aware of the circumstances in the past but your dad may have tried to take you before or violated the previous order.
Something happened if he feels your father violated the agreement. The Short answer is that it's highly likely he will uphold his decision to not allow you to leave without his let alone your mother's consent the state. He also can put anyone violating that in jail.
Even if it is the truth that you have a LD relationship in another state and your dad knows parents or whatever the judge is apt to think this may be a ruse so dad can take you away and deny your mother's legal rights to see her child.
He may also think it sketchy and that you don't really know who the hell you are meeting and that this could be dangerous to just send a kid anywhere when those she is to meet could be anything but who they say. I would go to court and see what happens and ask to be heard. That's all you can do.
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12 year old female. I live in the suburbs, but it's like right outside NYC. I've been to the city many times before. I haven't had much experience with rural areas but the more rural places I have been are so much better! There isn't any intensely loud noises from traffic, you can see the stars at night unlike here where the city's building lights and advertisements outshine them so you can only see the moon, planes and a few stars, there's animals other than squirrels, dogs, cats, pigeons and ducks, lots of diffirent plants, and trees, along with a lot of cool geographical features like rivers, lakes, hills. Yet people who live in rural areas want to go to the city and complain about where they are living. Why? (link)
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It probably has everything to do with the commute they face from rural areas that are far from the city by car and or having to use multiple buses/train combinations to get in to NYC from where they are.
Each day a person might have to make that trek twice through traffic or on buses, trains and subways that takes several hours hence they want to live in the city. Deep down they really don't want to lose the peace and solitude they have when home in a rural area even though commuting is a pain in their ass. It doesn't matter where people live they all seem to have things they don't like but the good outweighs the bad so they stay put.
Also, if they like concerts, plays, sporting events, festivals, movies etc. and all of this is downtown and it takes a long time to get to and back they may like the proximity of the city better and lament they can't have both worlds.
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