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April 10, 2005Answers:
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HEYYY :D i'm in college and i'm a psychology major. i've had many experiences with boyfriends, crushes, friends and family. i know quite alot about sex and sex related issues, so feel free to ask me anything about that! i will be completely honest because i would want the same in return.if you drop one in my inbox, please try to be as detailed as possible (like your age & gender) so i can be as helpful as possible :D
advice
Hi , I was wondering what happens if you do not have sex or masturbate for a long a period ? is it unhealthy for the sexual organs ? like make them inert or inactive or something ?
There's no health problems, if that's what you're worried about. For a female, (I'm assuming that's what you are? if not, then sorry!) it just takes time to get back into sex.. it's hard to describe, because I did go a year without having sex, and then when I did finally do it again, it actually hurt and took some time to get back into it. That's the only problem I had, so it doesn't bring any significant health problems. Though sex IS healthy and can boost your immune system and decrease depression (so lots of pros!) I do suggest though if you go awhile without sex to masturbate. That's also healthy :)
Hey there.. okay so I saw you featured and I thought id ask you something as well I don't really wanna post it publicly! I hope you dont mind.
Okay so Im 16/f almost 17 my boyfriends 17.
weve been together 7months and decided we wanted to have sex..
so ive two problems really..
the first time we did it I dont really count as we stopped because we thought someone would walk in (he was sleeping over at my house) and also because the condom wouldnt stay on?it kept like slipping?so obviously I didnt want to continue..do you know why that is I mean are we putting it on right or what?
so last weekend we decided to try again no one was home and it felt more the right time initially the condom stayed on which was fine but heres my second problem.(this is kinda embarassing)
it doesnt feel like anything?!it doesnt hurt or feel plessurable..is this cos im just getting started?Like I feel like theres something seriously wrong with me..it doesnt feel like anything when he fingers me either I prefer to be like rubbed towards the top..even then I find I dont exactly cum I just get an intense feeling over my body.
When he goes down on me nothing! what the hell is wrong with me?is it me my boyfriend or what?its seriously frustrating will I ever be able to enjoy sex? have you had any similar experiences?
so yea theres my two problems :(
Id really apreciate any advicethank you!
x
I can understand your frustration. And yes, this has happened to me and I figured out what the problem was.. the problem in my situation was I was not comfortable having sex with the person and didn't feel it was right, etc.
Sex is supposed to be fun, but also serious, so it should be able to be talked about openly with your partner. I don't think it's embarassing AT ALL. Friends have told me the same thing, and it has all worked out. It's a combination of the right person, the right positions, just the all around right situation.
I would deff make sure the condom is on correctly though, make sure it goes alllllll way on first. Is it both of your first times? Because if it is, that could be the big main factor in why. The inexperience of both of you can combine and not make sex pleasurable because you're both trying to figure it out (guys are more easily pleasured PSH!)
If you know what makes you feel all hot and bothered, tell him, I'm sure he'd do it gladly. Guys love hearing what you like sexually. You WILL enjoy sex. Make sure you are completely sure about your boyfriend being the guy, and make sure when you are doing it, you feel comfortable and you're not stressing about a million diff things. Stress can deff harm or ruin a sexual experience. Relax and take things slow. Try different positions and see what you like (and maybe what he likes!). I can't say enough about relaxing, and not tensing your muscles and having your mind race. Focus on the moment. Again, figure out your body and all that you like.. and let him do it to you. Sex consists of two people, so let him in on what you're feeling and thinking. Everything will work out.
Do you moan or make nose when you get fingerd?
or what should i do?
Guys like to know you're enjoying it. I've never met a guy or have heard of any guys liking it when a girl is quiet throughout any sexual act (fingering, or sex). I would just go with it, and see what happens.. if it feels good, let out a moan or a sound to let him know he's doing a good job. It's not weird or embarassing, it's a big ego boost for a guy.
Tell me if this is normal because i'm freaking out.
I'm a 17 year old girl. Junior in High school. I still can't wear tampons. Is that bad?? I only wear pads and i've tried soooooo many times to try tampons but they hurt too badly and feel weird all the time and i just overall hate them. I feel so different. like other girls can handle sex and stuff, but i can barely put in a tampon! is something wrong with me?? It will be a year with my boyfriend in May and he's always wondering why I don't want him to finger me. If i tell him, or anybody for that matter, i'll be so embarrassed and feel like i'm so different than everybody.
Helppp i'm desperate.. everytime i try, i start crying in frustration because it NEVER works out. I get about an inch in, and then it starts to feel weird and gross.
If it helps, i'm terrified of needles. so i think that putting in a tampon reminds me of a needle going in me. do you think that could be a reason??
I know it'll sound weird, but try using a small mirror (like one that has a stand, so you can prop it up on the toilet while you're sitting on it). I used to have the same problem, but like the other advicenator said, when you do it right, it goes right in. And also, like she said, you being frustrated causes your muscles to tense, making it that much harder to get the tampon in. Next time you do it, relax and sit on the toilet with a mirror like I said, so you can see alllll the way up there and know exactly where the tampon is going. I'm almost positive this will work, even though it sounds weird! And with the boyfriend situation, I'd tell him honestly "I can't even get a tampon in, I'm really tight down there. It'll deff hurt!" He'll probably just laugh it off and say okay. It's NOT a bad thing at all. Once you get the tampon situation under control, then work on the boyfriend part and see how far you can go without it hurting. If you want to try it, let him go slow, and he should respect that :)
My mom is taking me to the doctor to find out if I have had sex. I told her no,but I really have,kinda. But my cherry isn't popped. Will the doctor still be able to tell I had "sex"?
I'm not sure where you live or how old you are, but as far as I know, the gyno (the doctor you're going to be seeing) is not allowed to tell your parents you've had sex. It's patient-doctor confidentiality. Are you sure your cherry isn't popped? And if you mean you kinda have had sex.. does this mean he didn't go all the way in? Because if that's true, it's going to be difficult to tell if you've had sex.. but if you're cherry is infact popped, your gyno will probably know. She's not allowed to tell your mom, but I hope soon, you'll confide in your mom and let her be involved.
im 18/f and basically i cant fit tampons in...it only goes up so far??? i dont know what i can do. plus me and my boyfriend tried to have sex and we couldnt because his penis wouldnt fit. is there anything that i can do to help loosen it? thanks
For the tampons, you might be tensing your muscles and that makes it 10 times harder. I had the same problem, and I thought it was because I was so "tight" down there or it was too small, but it will fit. What I did and what I would suggest to you, is to sit down on the toilet, and use a small mirror. If you have a mirror that can stand by itself and put it on the toilet seat so you can see alllllllll the way in. Try putting the tampon in then, so you can clearly see where its going and remember to relax and not stress over it.
With the boyfriend/sex issue, you probably were a tad dry down there or maybe he wasn't hard enough.. try lots of foreplay (fingering, fooling aroud, making out) and make sure you are both turned on, and then try having sex.
I'm a senior in high school. Just finished my very last college application last week.
Most colleges I applied to were either Ivies or almost as (if not equally) selective / prestigious.
But I've been thinking. Schools like these tend to put enormous pressure on their students (does Cornell REALLY have the highest suicide rate or is that just myth?). Now, I KNOW my chances of getting into any Ivy are slim to none, so I probably shouldn't even be worrying about this, but.. is four years of stress really worth it? I mean, for the most part, a Bachelors from Harvard and a Bachelors from a state university only really differ in ... the name of the school. Yes, it can get you ahead in getting a job, but it won't KEEP you ahead. And yes, of course it'd be nice to not be surrounded by complete idiots for the next four years of my life (though there are idiots everywhere).
Is it worth it?
It's worth it, if you think it's worth it.
Some people just want to go to an Ivy because of the name, the label, to be able to put it on a resume, to be able to tell their friends/family, to be able to brag and look incredibly intellectual.
Some people really want the education aspect. Ivy schools are fast-paced, difficult, and very no-nonsense. If you want the highest of education and to have the best professors, that's why you go.
I would decide whether you want the label of it or the education of it. Yes, it's stressful but in the end, you have mass amounts of knowledge and experience, plus like you said, more options for careers, especially in our economy.
heyy.. you'll probably see this question later on, but i wanted advice sooner.. what should i expect my first time having sex.. as far as the physical feeling, i know everyone is different but i want some kind of knowledge going into it. like things that could possibly go wrong, or things to do to make it better.. thanks in advance.
hey, hope i'm getting back to you soon enough :) i don't know how old you are or what your exact situation is, so i'm going to keep my answer general. i just hope you are in love and are ready emotionally, if yes, then deff go for it.
being ready emotionally is extremely important. if you're unsure and do it anyway, you will regret it. if you are not in love, you will regret it. but moving on from that, the first time, i'm sure you've heard.. it hurts. you may bleed, it might be a little and it could be as heavy as a period. don't freak out because this is normal. make sure you are relaxed and your muscles are relaxed or it will hurt more and may cause more bleeding.
i also hope you are using some sort of protection. to make it better though, i seriously suggest not taking it so serious. people think of sex as such a serious thing and therefore, lose all the fun in it. first times are awkward, but play on that! if something funny happens, laugh and joke with him about it. i'm not saying sex is something to be taken lightly (esp your first time) but it is supposed to be fun and feel good. trust me, you can't be prepared for every little thing. things may go wrong, but ya know what, you learn from them and the next time will be better and the time after that, and so on. each time will get easier and less things will go wrong and you'll figure it out as you go. hun, trust me on this! my first time, i cried hysterically for no reason and my bf freaked out and thought i was going to tell my parents he assaulted me lol things happen! and then we get to laugh at them later. good luck :)
i just went to the bathroom and it kind or stung a little when i peed. but i think it only stung because its really dry down there. i was curious so i checked to see if anything was there and i saw this..well it wasnt quite a bump, it pretty much blended in with the area around my clit but it was a little more rised. you can barely tell its there and it doesnt hurt or anything. maybe its always been there? i dont know im confused Nd scared please help..
I wouldn't worry much about the bump, unless it's very noticeable and large. The thing is, if it burns/stings when you pee, you might have a UTI (urinary tract infection) which ALL girls get, so it's not big deal. I would suggest calling your doc to get a urine test so she can prescribe some antibiotics. If it burns when you pee again, deff call your doc so you can get treated asap. I wouldn't worry about the bump you described, unless it changes at all (becomes bigger, starts to hurt, etc.)
Ive been on the birth control pill for about 4-5 months now, i take it right, never missed a day and always at the same time. My boyfriend accidently "came" inside of me. What is the chance i could be pregnant?
If you have been taking it like you say you have, then there's only a 1-2% chance of getting pregnant. I wouldn't worry, you'll be fine.
Are you more likly to get pregnant when your on your period then when off it?
My period is really crazy.
I start&&then have it for 2days.
Then I stop but the last 1or2, of the 7 days, I start again but not really enough that I would coinsider a "period". Its more like spotting.
Does that change anything?
Srry but I thought I was off my period
when I had sex but its soo weird that I was wrong.
;/
BTW
Its been like that for Years!! I dont think theres anything wrong with me if its like that..right?
Thanks
I don't know how old you are, BUT if you've had your period for more than a year now, it should be regular and not stop/start and then spot. I don't think there's anything wrong, but I suggest seeing a gyno. I think gynos are like gods! They know everything and are always willing to help and will be honest. If you're scared of what your parents will say/wonder, just say you're having issues with your period.
Also, you are more likely to get pregnant when you're off your period. There's a very slim chance of getting pregnant during your period.
okay so my boyfriend and i have been having more hot make out sessions. he is really touchy feely kind of guy, that doesnt bother me, but he stops. its just that i know he wants to have sex but he hasn't talked to me about it. its been like 3 months and i mean he is 21 years old and he def is getting more frisky recently and he tells me that he really does care about me (he told me this wayyy before him being more frisky). we werent friends first, and that is a great thing because there is no weird friendship awckwardness happenings.
and even though im a virgin im use to the whole "lets go have sex" talk with my exs, they got denied sooo badly :P
i dont think he understands that im use to perverted guys and that actually makes me embarressed because he thinks im sooo naivee.
but the thing is that i dont mind losing my virginty to him, crazy right i dont love him yet but i know that i really do care about him.
its just with my exs there wasnt that much oomph to the relationship it was more like i care about about them more as a friend and with my boyfriend its different.
okay so my whole question is....
dun dun dunnn get ready for this!
how can i make him understand that he doesn't need to be shy around me and he needs to be more ummm more dominant in a way but not like the kinky way like leather whips and bondage but more in the "i am a man and you are my woman" kind of way.
and him being shy ends up making me shy and im not use to being shy.
thanks for listening to my rambling!
Okay, I understand. Though first I just want to say, please wait to have sex until you love him! Sex is soo much better the first time when you're in love and you can remember it. Don't ever feel pressured and be strong, like you were with your past bfs! You'll end up regretting it if you have sex and realize it was a mistake and you didn't love him/he didn't love you.
But alright, about him being more masculine and straightforward with you.. the best way to approach this is to say it in an almost kidding way but also sexy.. like "You don't have to be shy with me.." and smile at him. I'm not exactly sure if you want him to be more dominant in general or more of a sexually dominant? (which i'm assuming) If you guys are comfortable around eachother, there shouldnt be a problem getting what you want here and since he's not a virgin. You can try "you don't have to be gentle" or "i want you to take advantage of me". If the sexy, almost kidding lines don't work.. you'll have to resort to being straightforward and saying that you like it when he's more dominant and that it turns you on.. it'll actually make him feel good! Good luck :]
16/F
I'm going to start taking the birth control pill, TriNessa this month and was wondering what were the regular/normal side effects?
I've been reading online that a lot of women have experienced severe acne and major mood swings. Is this common?
If you take TriNessa, what side effects do YOU get?
Thanks :)
Hey hun, I'm on Trinessa right now and I've been on it for almost 2 years. The only side effects I experienced were stomach problems, like I felt kind of sick and crampy sometimes. This was only the first few months though. When your body gets used to it, you feel less and less of the side effects. Be prepared to have some spotting or bleed a little, because again, your body has to get used to it and your period has to regulate.
Everyone is different though so you may have different side effects than me. I read online too before I started taking it and got really scared because some of the side effects they list are horrible! Don't let that scare you, those are very very rare. Any side effects you do get will subside after a month or so.
like i know this is a stupid question but what exactly discribes the word 'fanny' ? is it the butt, or the other private part down there? and is it the girl or boys part, ot both?? haha i know weird question but i wanna make like really sure
A 'fanny' is usually meant to describe a female's butt, but it's sometimes used to describe a man's too.
So a couple a weeks ago my friend "M." and I had a project that we were working on together. We were working at school and I had forgotten my flashdrive so she let me borrow hers. I kept/transported the flashdrive to and from school for two days until my portion of the project was done. We finished on the third day, but I had forgotten to bring it back to school. M. said it was ok and I should just bring it the next day. Well, as it turns out I got really bad food poisoning the next day which put me out of school until the weekend. So, that weekend I called her and said I'd bring it on Monday. She was a little pissed, but I really couldn't do anything about it because I *was* throwing up all over the place. TMI, sorry. So, that weekend an uncle that I was really close to committed suicide. On Monday my mother made me stay home from school because she's the only other one in the house and didn't want to be alone at this very sensitive time. Then, the next day (Tuesday), M. left for California for Spring break. After Spring break was over, I came to school on Monday but M. was still in Cali. The next day she came back but I had to go to my uncle's funeral which was out of state.
Ok, so now I wrote a random note to Facebook about names for a pet and M. commented it in a very blunt and angry way, telling me to call her. One of my other friends was talking to me on chat (she happens to be very good friends with M.) so I asked her if M. had said anything to her about me. She said that while I was gone, M. had been telling everyone that I was deliberately holding her flashdrive hostage and that I was being bitchy about it. She also said that her mother was really mad at me too, and let me tell you, M.'s mom is NOT someone that you want to mess around with. I was so confused because I have been nothing but nice about this and have even offered to bring it to her house (an offer that she declined). All my other friends realize that I am having a really hard time right now and that I'm sort of scatter-brained. I'm also really confused because M. is also really light, bright, and happy. She's an amazing friend.
I have no idea how to handle this and I am wondering if I am at fault. What do you think I should do so M. doesn't start valuing her flashdrive at a higher level than our friendship?
Thanks for all the advice!
I would think this through first. On her flashdrive, does she have anything on it that is personal and she wouldn't want you to see? If you see any files on there or pictures that look private and she wouldn't want anyone to see, she could be concerned about that and her privacy. Is the project you guys were working on due soon? She could've been worried about completing the project and not having her flashdrive back in time to finish it. Group projects always cause mess and sress!
Alot has happened over the weeks to you. You were very sick and lost a family member. It happens and we can't control life. She was on a vacation too. The only thing you can do is to call her or talk to her somehow, one on one. Be mature and nice about it. Explain that things that were out of your control happened and you didn't mean to hurt her in anyway and didn't intend on keeping the flashdrive for all this time. Offer to bring it to her again. Tell her you value your friendship and wouldn't want something like this to ruin it. If you're honest with her and she's still mad about it, give her time to get over it. It's petty and she shouldn't be angry for too long. If she is, than SHE IS the problem.
So ive been taking birthcontrol since thursaday..
saturday i didnt take it..
this morning me and my husband had sex. and the condom broke.. we're not sure if his sperm went inside..
can i still get pregnant even though ive been on birth control for a couple of days? :[
There is always a chance of pregnancy. But with that said, birth control doesn't come into full effect until about a month of taking it, every day. Your body has to get used to it.
I would stay calm, and is there a way you can get Plan B? It's a contraceptive taken within 2 days of your last sexual encounter and it prevents pregnancy. You can get it at a pharmacy and also google it for more info. If you can't get that, just relax and take a pregnancy test in a couple weeks to make sure. I highly doubt you are pregnant though, from the info I gathered from your question.
Ok. I thought this was a funny question. I saw it and i thought I might as well find the answer out for curiousity's sake... in like 10 years it could come useful lol
What do guys like a girl to do when they are being eaten out or having sex?
Like do they like it when a girl makes noises, or eye contact, or plays with their hair or what? Also, im wondering what MOST girls like guys to do (but im straight). Just curious. I rate high for GOOD answers
Madison
Age 18
Being eaten out is just an awkward situation. I never enjoyed it personally, but that's just me. When it happens, you just go with the flow. I wouldn't play with the guy's hair though lol.
And during sex, guys LOVE feedback. They love the moaning and making noises. They hate it when a girl just lies there silent. Get into it and really show him he's doing a good job (hopefully he is!) It boosts guys self esteem and it's also sexy.
do guys think vaginas taste good? and is their anything girls can eat to make themselves taste better? or things to stay away from? thankss.
Guys don't necessarily think they taste "good". They mostly do it for the sake of giving the girl pleasure. But some can sure taste better than others. Guys have said they prefer going down on girls that are shaven and wash regularly. I also HEARD that if girls eat alot of fruits, that it can sort of taste fruity. (Weird, I know, but it's worth a shot!) Also, I wouldn't have anyone gone down on you shortly after your period, because it can sort of smell still.
We had the lights off so we could barely see eachother. He has fingered me a lot before but we have never had sex. I normally cum when he does it and i did, he kept going, a few moments later his whole hand and my thighs were covered in bright red blood. I MEAN COVERED. He got up and turned the light on and on his bed was a puddle about a foot wide. It has been a week since Ive been off my period. Is there something wrong with me since I bled SO much? Did he completely rip my hymen, Will it happen again?
Ok so you never had sex right? He probably finally broken the hymen if he went in far enough. His fingernails can also cause some tearing and he might have made some cuts. If he fingered you a little rough or fast, that can also cause some minor tears. There's nothing wrong if you have stopped bleeding by now. It's also okay if you're a little sore. Just make sure next time he's gentle. If you bleed like that again, I would see a gyno. Hope everything goes well :) be safe
when your having sex for your first time, can a boy tell its the girls first time? like ive heard storys that you bleed but is that after sex like the next day or during. seems kinda gross if its during..
like other than not knowing exactally what to do..is there anyway a boy can tell the girls a virgin?
thankss !
Usually, if its a girls first time, she'll bleed during (when her hymen is broken, "cherry popped"). It's not alot of blood like your period, but it's some and guys usually don't mind.. because it's normal and unavoidable!
About guys knowing if you're a virgin.. they usually can't tell. Some girls ARE looser than others naturally, and some are really tight naturally. Guys might act like they can tell, but honestly, they have no idea unless they're your gyno. But of course (like you said) they can tell if you don't know what you're doing, not by 'down there'.