I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 172855
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so obviously, me and my boyfriend had sex. my period isn't very regular, especially now.. because two months ago, i took plan b and it said it was make my period irregular. usually, i would've gotten my period around the last week of the month. and ever since i took plan b, i started my period on the 23rd of september. it's almost been a month now since i ended my period.
yes, me and my boyfriend used a condom.. and whenever we think something might go wrong, we changed it. we checked it in between sex and after sex. and nothing happened, is it maybe because i'm stressed about school or worried about being pregnant? or maybe the plan b?
my boyfriend told me a thousand times is that he is absolutely positive that nothing happened and that i am not pregnant, and if something did happen, he would've told me. but nothing happened.
but i'm still worried because it's the end of october.... any advice? (link)
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Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to effect whether or not you are pregnant now.
It sounds like you are playing it very safe and trying to use condoms the correct way (yay!). Now it's a waiting game.
I hear that your cycle has been messed up, but how many days does it usually last? It's been quite a long cycle this time, and you may want to consider taking a pregnancy test. If it is negative and your period doesn't come in a week, test again. If it is positive, then you need to see a medical professional who can walk you through your options.
Lots of things can wreak havoc on periods - stress, long distance travel, too much exercise. All of this worry about pregnancy probably isn't helping! Try to take a few deep breaths.
I wish you the best.
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I have another question for you.
Today when I went to the bathroom I spotted blood with the discharge. Could it be that my hymen has been broken when my bf fingered me?? He fingered me last tuesday and today is thursday, could it be that or could I be pregnant?? :S
My period came on the 15th october. (link)
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The blood is really probably a separate issue from the discharge. I stand by my advice that you need to get checked out for the discharge!
In relation to the blood, it COULD be from being fingered. Most bleeding from fingering, though, would be really light and happen during or immediately after the event. That's not to say it couldn't be related - I really need more info. Has he fingered you before? Have you ever had spotting between periods before?
If your boyfriend fingered you without touching himself, then there was no semen on his fingers when he went inside you. This would mean you cannot be pregnant...unless you have done more than this one act this one time! For example, if he HAS touched himself earlier this month and then touched you.
Please feel free to write follow up questions if you need more info!! And the more detailed you are about things, the better I can answer your questions.
I wish you the best.
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hey! im 16/f.
my boyfriend and i had rough unprotected sex (dont worry i'm on the birth control pill) ... he lasted much longer then he usually does, we used some KY jelly and it was like warming ahha. idkkkk. like ive never had such rough sex in my life ahah, and no it wasnt my first time i lost my virginity a year ago.
well. the day after.. i have a slight pain in my vagina, and a light bleeding. its not like redredred. its like a pinkish red. i just ended my period the morning before but it was completely over by the time we had intercourse.
is everything okay with me? i know for a fact im not pregnant he didnt "let out" inside of me. i know that doesnt mean im preg. but im on birth control so im okayyy i rarely use condoms with him.
but is this normal? did he tear something? idkk whats going on im a little bit worried.
thanks in advance=] (link)
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If you repeatedly and roughly rubbed your arm for a longish period of time, it would become red and uncomfortable. The same thing applies to your vagina!
You had sex for longer than usual, it was rougher than usual. Your skin inside your vagina is sensitive, and this is probably quite a normal reaction to the sort of sex you had. It was a good thing you used lube, or you might have been even more uncomfortable.
As for the bleeding, I'd keep an eye on it. It COULD be the very end of your period - I know you said you were done, but there might have been some blood hanging out near the top of your vagina. It could also be that your skin was irritated enough that the skin broke. If the bleeding gets heavier or doesn't stop, you'll want to see a medical professional.
While your body is healing, make sure any sex you have is a good deal more gentle! Wait until you feel things are back to normal before you resume anything rougher, otherwise you run the risk of further irritating the area.
I wish you the best.
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Hi. 17/f.
I never had sex with my boyfriend by hee might have touched his agaisnt mineee but he never camee.
its been 32 days and i stil haven't gotten my period.
and my stomach is feeling weird..and i feel nauseous.
what could this mean? am i getting it mixed up with period symptoms??
please help me, i'm kind of freaking out. (link)
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I totally get why you're freaking out, and also that this is causing you some stress. Did you know that stress can affect your period - sometimes causing it to be late?
Nerves can also cause nausea.
Chances are you have nothing to worry about. I won't tell you to relax, because that will probably be quite hard to do until you get your period! When your period comes, heave that sigh of relief....and then take some time to figure out how you can avoid this situation in the future.
Even without sex, it's wise to use a condom if you and your boyfriend will be bumping up against each other. There are STDs that are transferred from skin-to-skin contact, after all. And this way you can save yourself all this worry the next time you are in a similar situation!
I wish you the best.
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Hi Alison,
Since your advice was the most gentle and...well "forgiving", so to speak, I want to go a tad further and ask you some specifics.Not being eager to air my linen in the most public of forums I chose to contact the person that I considered to give the best advise and then ask on a more personal level. To be honest my queston goes a little beyond the "MIld" public forum version. My ex-wife was bi-sexual and we enjoyed many MMF sessions, which we both enjoyed, Her probably more so than me whereas she eventually left me and moved to Cali with one of her female lovers....OOPS! Anyway, when she employed toys and prothetics to engage in butt play with me, I'm ashamned to sy it was incredible!!! She insisted this made me Bi as well and for the sake of fairness, I consented to a MMF. The sex was o.k. but not nearly as arousing as it was with the toys and strap-ons. I suppose it was guilt or hangups on my part, so she said, but I just wasn't as into it with another guy. Am I bi? or uptight? or just a regular guy that lies an occasional butt drubbing? Is this common? (link)
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First things first: I don't think you should be 'ashamed' you like what you like. Especially as what you like doesn't hurt you or anyone else.
Now that we've got that out of the way, none of this makes you bisexual. I'm not saying you AREN'T bisexual, because only you know that - but there is nothing odd about a straight guy liking to play with sex toys. The prostrate gland is reached by a finger (or toy!) up your bum, and this is provides a physiological reaction that feels pleasureable. It's normal and natural.
If you aren't that into sex with other guys, don't have sex with other guys. If you change your mind about this at some point, then that's okay too.
Many, many straight guys like sex with toys, anal play, etc. It's common. I often think that people think they are weird simply because they don't realise other people have the same thoughts, feelings, or fantasies.
Your ex certainly seemed in a hurry to label you as things: bi, guilty, hung up. And it seems to me she did this in order to serve her own desires. She's out of the picture now, so it's a great opportunity for you to rediscover yourself and understand that the only person who really knows you is you.
I wish you the best.
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I recently discovered, at the doctors office oddly enough, that a finger in the butt excites me. A lot. Does this mean I have repressed homosexual feelings or does it just mean I like wierd stuff? (link)
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On the scale of sexual weirdness, a finger in the butt doesn't score that high. Many, many guys enjoy the feeling of things in their butt: you are not alone.
Congrats on finding something else that rocks your boat. As to your sexuality, enjoying the sensation of things in your butt doesn't make you gay - some gay guys don't even enjoy this! Your sexuality is part of who you are, and if you are questioning, it's a healthy thing.
I wish you the best.
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When performing foreplay with the clothes on, can you get pregnant?? (link)
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This depends on what you mean by foreplay.
Pregnancy happens when semen comes into contact with the vagina. It is highly unlikely for it to happen when there are clothes in between, but it is better to be safe than sorry (plus, things can get messy!).
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im 18 and have been 'doing it' with my boyfriend for a year. i'm not gonna chance it, but i was wondering if a woman can get pregnant during her menstural cycle? (link)
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Every woman has a slightly different cycle (and by 'cycle,' I mean the ENTIRE month - not just your period).
It is possible to get pregnant from unprotected sex while you are still bleeding. Sperm can live in the human body for up to seven days. So if you have sex while on your period, the sperm could still be hanging around when your body releases an egg.
Always best to keep it safe!
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I just heard this from a friend of mine and she is having problems with her boyfriend While she was on a cycle, her boyfriend told her that he could have sex with her unprotected during that time, because she is basically letting the ''baby'' flow out of her and she can't really get pregnant. She asked me and I decided to ask you? Is that true? She told him no that 1. She didn't know if that was really true and 2. She told me that when she met this guy, they both lost their virginity to each other, but she told him she still didn't know if that still meant that she and him could possibly get a STD. She has been dating this guy since she was 12 and they have been dating for six years. She lost her virginity to him five years later. So she asked me these two questions. Can she get an STD even with them both being virgins at the same time they lost it and is it true that she could not get pregnant if he had sex with her unprotected? Please let me know. Thank You! (link)
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STDs enter your body when you have contact with another person who is infected. This can be unprotected sex - including anal or oral sex. Infections can also be passed on through contact with blood.
If your friend is 100% sure her boyfriend has never cheated or had sexual contact with anyone else, chances are he does not have an STD. However, some things can also be passed on by merely kissing (kissing someone with an open blister on their lips can transfer the herpes virus, for example). If she's in doubt, they can always have a full screening for STDs to put her mind at ease.
Next, pregnancy.
I COULD give you a giant lesson in what is going on in the female body at different points of the month, but I'm not sure you're interested in that! However, I will say that sperm can live in the female body for up to seven days. Having unprotected sex during your period means that sperm can still be hanging around when you ovulate (release an egg).
Every woman's cycle is unique and different - everyone can ovulate at different times, have different length periods, etc. You can in theory get pregnant from unprotected sex at ANY time in the month, particularly if you don't know a lot about your own particular cycle.
When in doubt, use protection. Better safe than sorry - and better to put up with a slightly grouchy bf who doesn't want to use condoms than putting up with a cranky baby 24/7!
I wish you and your friend the best.
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what happens if i finger a girl and she urinates blood (link)
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Fingering a girl can sometimes cause spotting (small amounts of blood coming out). This can be because her hymen gets ruptured, or because your nails may have given her a small cut in her vagina.
This is different than 'urinating blood.' If streams of blood are coming out, or any blood is visibly dripping out, she needs to see a doctor. (Unless her period is expected....) She should also see a doctor if she is in pain.
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after a guy comes in me it comes out when i stand up is it suppose to do that? does that happen to everyone?
also,i was having sex with a guy and i queefed it was really embaressing . do guys think that its disgusting? (link)
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It is perfectly normal for some semen to leak out, particularly if you are standing upright. You can avoid this problem (and others!) by using a condom.
'Queefing' is really just when air is pushed into the vagina during sex, and then it makes the lovely squelching noise. Again, this is normal - and a good opportunity to have a laugh with your partner. A bit of humour can go a long way in any aspect of a relationship!!
I wish you the best.
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Can you get AIDS or HIV from oral sex? Like if the person who has it does it to you or something? (link)
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HIV is like any other infection - it needs one basic thing. This is, simply, an opportunity to enter your body.
If someone with HIV gives you oral sex (particularly if they have any open sores, cankers, or lesions in or around their mouth/lips), you are at risk of contracting the infection.
Different activities come with different levels of risk, but why take the chance? An infection can enter your skin through a tiny cut - one you may not even realise you have. Cover up.
If you're a guy getting oral sex, wear a condom. If you're a girl, you can use a dental dam (like a big square of latex - comes in lots of flavours) or simply cut a condom down the middle and use that to cover yourself.
Better safe than sorry!
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So i am a girl (22), and i have a girlfriend, yes we are lesbians.
So we have been together a really long time and we are trying to think of ways to "spice up" our sex life... we were thinking some sort of games or something, although most out there are made for heterosexual couples. does anyone have any ideas? (link)
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Lesbianism is a great things in terms of sex, because you can have it all! The question is, of course, what you and your girlfriend fancy.
While ready made games often do favour heterosexual couples, specialist stores you can find online may offer lesbian-friendly versions. Alternatively, you can make up your own game...
One good stop is often a women's only sex shop (these tend to be a bit less sleazy and a bit more fun!). Some couples are happy to buy things to help spice things up, and these stores can supply a huge range of things you might never have thought of. Again, there are excellent online suppliers if you don't want to go in person.
Finally, simply changing the location or time of day you have sex can be a simple but easy way to help bring some freshness into your relationship. A nice evening away at a hotel never hurts!
Good luck to you both...sex lives can become very static when you've been with someone a long time - this is normal. But with love and a willingness to keep things going, I'm sure you guys will manage just fine!
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Okay so there is two questions here
first one is Me and this guy has been having sex since like october but then we took a brake and we started having sex again but then he was like fuck...and i was like and he was like you make me cum to fast. SO like is that a good thing my friends say it is but is it?
2nd one is
When me and him have sex i don't get off is that like a normal thing like when women have sex all the time with a man and don't get off is there somthing wrong or yeah
his the first person i have splet with (link)
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Not sure how old you are, but lots of younger guys have difficulty with something called 'premature ejaculation.' This basically means they cum too fast.
It's nice that he is turned on by you and enjoys the sex, but in reality things could be a lot better if he was able to make it last longer. He shouldn't be blaming you for his problem!!
When a guy cums too quickly, a big side effect is just what you mention - the girl doesn't often have an orgasm. While it can be common for women to have difficulty orgasming though intercourse alone, that doesn't make it okay.
There are plenty of other ways he can help you get off, and if he isn't doing them then I would question the balance in your sex life. You deserve to have an orgasm just as much as the guy does!
I wish you the best.
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So I'm 16 years old; my boyfriend of 2 years is 18. We're pretty serious (although we are young). I've never been on birth control and my periods are pretty consistent and normal. On April 12th, I started my period. It ended on April 16th. I had sex April 18th (early morning). So it was whatever then on April 26th it looked as if I was starting my period again, only it was light and stopped after a day. I googled it and it said I could have been spotting. I wouldn't be concerned with this normally but I've never spotted, ever. Also it says that I was ovulating (and was extremely fertile) the following week after I had sex. It's also a fact that sperm can live inside of you for 3 to 5 days. I started ovulating on April 21st or 22nd I believe. April 18th is only 3 or 4 days from that. So I'm a little worried. I haven't missed a period yet because my period isn't due until May 10th. I'm just wondering if this sounds like I could be pregnant or am I just worrying over nothing. Please help. Thanks in advance. xx. (link)
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Spotting can actually be an indication of a fertilised egg implanting - so it's right that you are concerned.
A pregnancy test will not be accurate until you have missed a period - there are a few on the market that claim to be accurate beforehand, but these can be misleading if you test too early. It's best to wait till your period is expected; also keep in mind that stressing about this could cause your period to be late this month.
If your period comes, then that answers that. If not, test - a positive means you're pregnant. If you get a negative but your period doesn't come, wait a couple of days and try again.
Hoping everything is all okay for you. It might be worth getting a book called 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' - it's covers the complex area of ovulation, fertility, and avoiding/trying to get pregnant in really clear language.
If you aren't pregnant, I would suggest you and your boyfriend do some serious talking about birth control. If you aren't ready for a baby, it really is best to protect yourself as much as possible from that situation.
All the best.
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after my boyfriend stuck it in my butt. nasty creamy white liquid came pouring out my anus.
IM SCARED AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! HELPPPP!
SOS! (link)
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This is mostly likely his cum/semen/ejaculate. It is normal for semen to 'leak' out of bodily cavities like the anus or vagina.
However, you are more at risk of contracting an STD during anal sex without a condom. Why? Because the chances of tearing are higher - it's quite easy for very small tears to happen inside your butt, as it is not as accomodating as the vagina.
Having your boyfriend wear a condom protects you both AND will stop this leaking in future! Also if you have regular sex after he's been in your butt, make sure he has washed himself with soap and water.
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can u ask to have an ultra sound to see if your pregnant rather than a blood test? i know you can barely see nothing but a little speck but i trust seeing it better than i do hearing some result. does anyone know? (link)
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Blood tests are highly accurate. They are measuring the amount of pregnancy hormone in your body - this is not present unless you are pregnant.
Internal ultrasounds (where a probe is placed inside your vagina) are possible from about 7 weeks, which is the age a heartbeat can be visualised. Before that, it is possible to see the sacs a baby would live in, but not possible to see a heartbeat. This can end up being more worrying than reassuring.
If you are wondering whether you are pregnant, an at home pregnancy test might be a good place to start. You'll have to see a doctor asap to confirm the pregnancy, and you can always ask him/her about ultrasounds.
All the best.
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hi my fiance and i are trying to have another baby my son was born right after my period but i dont know about the second is the second one gonna be the same kind of conseption (link)
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Conception happens when a woman ovulates and there is sperm there ready to meet and greet the egg. Every woman has a different cycle.
If you have sex regularly throughout the month (think every other day), then chances are you'll have sex during your fertile window. If you try for a few months and it doesn't work out, there is loads of info available for women who want to time sex a bit better.
Try googling 'charting fertility' and see if that sound like something you would be interested in. I know quite a bit about fertility signs, so do let me know if you want to know more.
All the best!
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I am 15. and i have sex the dude wears a condom . if the condom breaks after the dude nuts can i get pregnate ? (link)
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Yes.
If the condom is broken, that means it is no longer containing the semen inside. It can then spill out into your vagina, putting you at risk of pregnancy and STDs.
I'm not sure where you live, but some places allow teenagers to access the morning after pill for free. It is effective if taken up to 72 hours after the condom breaking, but most effective within 24 hours.
Congrats on using condoms - if they are regularly breaking, it might be worth considering if they fit correctly. Also, any sort of oil-based product can cause condoms to burst. (Blow up a condom, knot it like a balloon, and then rub baby oil on it. KaPOW.)
Hope everything is okay for you.
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(17/F)
I've been having sex a few times now with my Bf, don't worry we allwas use protection. and today I tryed moaning a bit and well i was actually able to come for the first time, anyway my Bf says that its the girl that makes sex great, is that true? (link)
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Sex usually happens between two people. This means that both have an equal share in the responsibility for how it turns out. If one person feels distracted, it impacts on both of them. Likewise, the chemistry between different pairs of people will also have an affect.
And while you both have responsibilities to work at a good relationship and sex life, you also both have the right to enjoy yourselves.
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