FiaBean's advice column | FiaBean's Advice About General Sex Questions

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Q: I met this nice Italian guy on Myspace,
and he wanted to know if we could talk
over MSN, so of course, I was like, sure.
He seemed really nice but then he wanted to
get on his webcam, so I said alright.
I've watched other people (non-sexually) on webcam.

Of course I had to tell him: don't strip or anything,
and he said he wouldn't, but then I guess he
changed his mind and took all his clothes off?
I felt weird saying "No" and he obviously wasn't
going to take "No" for an answer.
Oddly, I watched him but felt really nervous the whole time.

Not to sound like a dork or anything,
but I've never really seen a guy close up naked.
However, I was kind of disgusted with this naked guy.
I was also really scared, which is weird,
because most of my friends have actually
had sex with a guy and obviously they are
comfortable with even more than just looking at that!

Is this usual? Is it ok to feel a little freaked out by...male parts?
I am really boy crazy and I love guys, so why
do I freak out so much if I see a naked guy?
What if I'm a Lesbian?

And by the way, I won't be watching that
guy on webcam again so don't worry!

Lol, that guy sounds like a weirdo, good thing your not.

Okay good news: Your not a lesbian!! Yayyyyy.

Also, it's not weird that you feel that way, the male naked body is not a very pleasant thing to look at. I have spoke with many people about this and they totally agree. It is totally normal to feel uncomfortable when seeing that.
When a girl is so used to seeing the female body all the time it is definitely a change of course when you experience seeing the other sex.

Don't worry about it, you will get used to it and make babies like a normal girl minus the disgust :)

[Hopefully not make babies now...but anyway]
GOOD LUCK! :D

Q: so yesterday, me and my boyfriend had sex. we used a condom, but i think it ripped. how can you tell if it ripped? i still have the condom in my trash.

-jenna 85/f

If it ripped... Then you may be pregnant and you may also not be pregnant. There is probably less of a chance that your not pregnant but i suggest you check with a pregnancy test just to be sure.

If it didn't rip... Then your not pregnant :D Yay!

Q: 16/f

How do you tell a guy you want them to feel you up? :/ Like TELL them without saying anything, but kind of implying it.

thanks!

Well if you want to be really subtle without touching him or being aggresive then I suggest you can maybe get closer to him and touch his hands a bit. Maybe put your arms around his neck while talking, kissing, whatever elsing-ing (by the way this will give him a big area under your arms to touch such as: waist, stomach, other stuff :o))

Anyway, I hope I helped :)

Q: im 13/f. im straigt but i always look up porn on the interrnet and love looking at naked girls. but im not a lesbian. im not even bi. but why do i like looking at it so much. like i get wet when i even think about it. i dont know why!

help!

Okay dont worry about it your not a lesbian or anything. It's just curiosity. I have talked to many people about this and heard different peoples take on this situation; and the conclusion came to just simple curiosity. Your young and curious. I personally think don't worry about it, but if you are attracted to actual woman you see physically then maybe we have something totally new to talk about. lol

Hope I helped!

Q: Okay my boyfriend was like can i finger you ?? and i was all i have to go but the thing is what is fingering??? and were should he (finger) me ??
Thanks in advance! :)

Fingering is when a guy, sticks 1-4 fingers. (Usally starting with 1) inside of the girls vagina. It usually hurts in the beginning but if you do it more often you get used to it.

Q: ok i need professionals on this one ok a week ago i had sex without protection and ever since i have been throwing up for 3 days in row and feeling sick most of the day i think i am just sick but could it be possible for me to already fell signs of mornign sickness
(first time) maybe just nerves

I would get it definitely checked by a doctor. But seriously, never have unprotected sex if you don't want a baby.

Q: What are the differences between the girl being on top and the boy being on top during sex if there are any? thanks

Technically there is no difference because intercourse is happening either way, but if you want to be technical:

Guy on top: This usually has the guy doing most of the work on the girl.

Girl on top: This usually includes the girl doing most of the work on the boy.

The one on top usually does most of the work by taking control of the intercourse.

Q: when i get horny on my period, what am i supposed to do? like, i cant get any from my boyfriend and i dont want to stick my fingers up there. what can i do? i can't buy a dildo.

You can always do dry sex with your boyfriend. There is no physical intercourse involved all you need to do it grab your boyfriend and (with clothes on) do the motions of having sex without really doing it. As in "humping" although I hate that word. :) Anyway Hope I helped! :)

Q: I am a virgin but I have given and recieved oral sex but when guys go to finger me i freak out, why do i do this and is it gonna hurt that bad?

You probably "freak out" just because you are no used to it. i don't think that is anything to worry about right now. Just make sure you know what you are doing before you go HI-HO and get fingered. To the next question: In the beginning it probably will hurt because you aren't used to anything going in there yet but as time goes by your vagina won't be so tight and it should be more enjoyable for you and less painful. Hope I helped!

Q: I've been watching porn on TV for the past couple of nights. Not the whole thing but just segments. Im 16/f by the way. I've never had sex, or even kissed. Im feeling pretty ashamed by it. Does anyone else watch it? Is it a common thing for teens?

I would say yes, that it is a common thing for teens. Whether it's on tv or on the computer it's just curiosity. Don't feel weird you are just probably curious. Hope I helped :D

Q: hi, i am 14 and haven't started my period is this a problem and i want to start it all my friends have except me

I got my first period when I was 14, dont worry about it, it will happen when it happens. Honestly your lucky! I wish I got my period later, it's not all it's cracked up to be. lol, anyway don't worry about it, if you don't get it by age 16 then you need to go to a doctor to get it checked out, but I am sure everything is hunky dori.

Q: is someone a good kisser if they have a strong tounge? [im a girl]

Not always, it usually depends on technique and cleanliness(Because no one wants a sloppy kiss). Although I am sure that a strong tongue doesn't hurt! :) Good luck!

Q: 14/f
when your "cherry pops" do you bleed?& if you do r you supposed to bleed?

Thanx in advance

Yes and yes! :)

Q: Okay so on Friday I gave head to a guy for the first time and I didn't really know him (I know it wasn't thebe st idea but please don't judge) so I don't know who he's been with. Then on Saturday, I started to get a bad sore throat which I still have today. Is it just a coincidence that I'm sick or did my throat just geg mildly irritated from giving oral, or something else?

I think that your throat just wasn't used to it and I am sure it will go away in the days to come. Just if you do it again don't force anything to far down, because that can cause injury. I think your throat just wasn't used to that happening, I'm am sure everything is fine. If you continue though to get pain in your throat then i suggest you go see a doctor. But that's only if worst comes to worst! :) Good Luck!.

Q: i'm 15/f and a virgin. before i had a boyfriend i just used to shave off all of the hairs on my vagina, but now that i think im ready to have sex i dont know how to cut it anymore. should i just leave it all off, or should i try to do one of those styles you see porn models with?? can someone please direct me to a site...thanXx in advance!! =]

Well you can always shave it all off or do something called a landing strip, which is like a line of trimmed hair in the middle of your...... ya know. lol. Oh also! You can do heart shapes and circles and all that fun stuff. Just experiment! Hope I helped.

Q: hi i'm 14 want my breasts to grow im a size 34A oh and for all the guys is that big? how do i make them bigger without padded or water bras or implants thanks (haven't started my period)

Oh wow if you haven't started your period then chances are you just need some time to grow. When I was 14 I was a size 34A and I'm 16 now and I am a 36B and I am still young so I might have some more to for growing too! I hit puberty a little bit late also. So don't worry about it, you will grow and develop. You just need time.

Q: what is the average number a person has sex a year ? is it bad to have it about 15 times in one year ?

I wouldn't say it's bad as long as it's safe.

Q: I know that it is almost impossible to get pregnant with having sex. However, I hooked up with a boy and he ejaculated on his hand and my sheets and we kept hooking up. Now I'm 8 days late on my period. But seriously....what are the chances of me being pregnant

I dont know what you mean by this "I know that it is almost impossible to get pregnant with having sex." Because, yes it is more than likely you can get pregnant with having sex unprotected. Uh duh! But on the rest of what you said if he only did it on the sheet's and on his hand and he didn't finger you with his hand afterwards i would say you are pretty much on the safe side. :)

Q: i have been going out with my boyfriend for about 4 months and all we have done is make out so far. i would like to go farther and im sure he does too. what is a good way to bring it up?

Try and bring it up in a conversation. Like, "So what do you want to do today. HOW ABOUT SEX". If you don't want to be SO straight forward just slip it in a conversation maybe talk about how a friend did it with her boyfriend in 4 months being together. Even if a friend might not have and then ask how he feels about having sex in that time period. And work your way through.

Q: alright i'm 15 - and i've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. i'm still a virgin, and plan on keeping it that way until i am ATLEAST out of highschool. anyways, we haven't had sex, but he HAS fingered me. and i've bled before -- maybe because he was being aggressive, but maybe because he popped my cherry. i was just wondering if i were to go to the gyno, whenever i decide to go, if it would look like i wasn't a virgin anymore because my hymen could in fact be broken. like, would he/she be able to tell that i haven't had sex? or would it look like i have?

I think that they know whether you had sex or not. And if not who care's if the doctor thinks you had sex with a guy. I mean if it comes to a point where the doctor tells your mom or dad that he thinks you may have had sex, and you say you haven't. Tell him/her that a tampon must of did it if you don't feel comfortable saying that your bf fingered you.