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Hey! My names Sam, I started my advice column awhile ago, but when my computer messed up I forgot all about it. Well now I'm back and still going to give everyone the best advice I can give. The advice that I give is the advice I would use on myself. Giving advice is one of my favorite things to do. If anyone wants to ask me something just drop a message in my mail and Iâ??ll gladly answer it the best way that I can. =)

advice

My friends really think I've got mental problems! Not seriously, but it's getting out of hand. I have always been like a kid--- i still love cartoons, video games and i still talk like a kid when im not nervous; like if around my friends, Im completely myself. And thats always been a problem because whem Im myself, Im crazy and hyper. So lately, my friends and people i hardly know from my school are saying that I have a mental problem. I know it sounds dumb, but I hate it!
I told my friend that there is nothing wrong, and they all say they are just joking around when they say i have ADD or OCD, but the other people at my school dont know this. Sure, school is almost over, but I really dont want to continue with this stupid rumor! And I can't even set the record straight that I have no problem, because the rumor is based on how I act, which is kidishly. I really cant sit still or I play with things and I make up wacko words.
Is there a way to show, well sure, im not normal, but just not crazy? Thanks.
14/f

Many teenagers go through a time in their life where they're crazy and hyper most of the time, or just when they're around the people they trust the most (friends). Teenagers will always pass rumors around, most know that rumors are untrue. The best thing to do would probably just ignore the rumors. If you feel it really is a problem than go to a doctor about it. If you really don't want people thinking you're crazy anymore and you can't ignore the rumors than another thing to do would be to just be calm for a few days and when people start questioning just say that you can act 'normal' once in awhile, it's just boring.

~Hope this helped in any way. =)

~Sam

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I have a friend who I have known for a couple years now. She lives far enough away so that it would be hard for me to go and see her. Though lately I've talked to her on the phone and IM. I enjoy talking to her and remembering the good times that we had, but there's one problem: she was one of my biggest crushes ever. I have a girlfriend now, and I am VERY happy with her, in fact, happier than I've ever been in my life. But when I talk to my friend, the memories of good times come back, as well as the memories of how much I liked her and the memories of being rejected by her.

Now she tells me that she wants me to come visit sometime, yet I know that there are other guys that she's interested in, so I don't think that she wants to see me again in hopes of starting a relationship. But if talking to her hurts, how much would seeing her hurt me? Is there a way I can help her to understand what contacting her does to me? Or should I just live with it?

I love my girlfriend very much, and I know that she, not my other friend, could ver likely be the girl I will marry. I have no intention of leaving my girlfriend for my other friend, either, and I would NEVER cheat on the girl I love.

So along with those other questions is this: is there a way to keep my relationship AND my friendship? Or do I have to choose? If it does come to a choice, though, I know that I could say goodbye to my friend.

Thanks for you time!

hmm this is difficult, in the end, if you have to choose you should always choose the person you know is always going to be there through everything. If you feel uncomfortable talking to her you should tell her how you feel. If she is truly a good friend she will understand. If you're afraid she'll get mad or be depressed over it than it may be better to live with it but i know how hard that can be. Seeing her may fix things if she has other guys she's attracted to than maybe she just wants to be friends with you.

-hope everything works out for the best!-
~Sam

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my best friend hates me becuz i left 1 year of school and now thay hate me and i dont no wat 2 do please help pl plz



T.J.

ok what i would do... is talk to your best friend. You must of left school for a year for a good reason. If this person is truly your best friend he/she won't care what you do. Because it's your life. Remember true friends stick with you through the hard times and the happy times, and they will be by your side... no matter what.

-hope this helps.
~Hope it works out for the best~

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ok i DO have friends, but i cant make them easily! whenever im in a new situation im always just sitting in the corner by myself, lonely, etc! and that sucks! acuse then it makes the experience NO FUN!! and im like the loudest person ever when you get to know me. how can i over come this? i feel weird if i just go up and say "HI IM ____" (but if worst comes to worst, i do it but im like shaking!!!) so yeah, how can i get rid of this shyness?!

The best thing to do is go up to people that seem nice and start talking... before you do this...
-practice, like in front of a mirror.
&
-take a couple deep breaths.
~just remember everyone gets nervous when they're first meeting someone... it's human nature. You shouldn't always expect people to come up to you and start talking because they're just as nercous as you.

-I hope this helps
~i hope it works out for the best~

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I have these friends of mine. They were my best friends. Even though we go to different schools, I still spend lots of time with them. I really loved them, no matter what happened between us. Some people said that I was so stupid that I trusted them so bad that I have never thought bad things about them.
Few days ago, one of my friends came to me and told me that all of my friends were talking bad things about me. I did not trust him, of course, cause I believed that my friends would not do such a thing to me.
Then, when I checked my e-mail, I found a message for me. It was all bad things about me. It was from my friends. I was so shock that I spend my time crying with my boyfriend. My boyfriend, which was my closest best friend too, told me that even though my friends hated me, he would stay with me. But actually, his words did not calm me down. I still worried about my friends. I did not hate them, and I would never do, but I could not forget what they said about me. Now, I'm avoided and hated by my friends. And they avoid my boyfriend in their school too!! I really don't know what to do... Please help me!!!

-brokenheart girl-

Real friends wouldn't say bad things behinde your back. Friends would either,
1) not say anything bad about you or...
2) say these "mean" things to your face.
i don't think you should start saying anything bad about them. I think you should call them up and ask them why they would say these things and tell them that friends shouldn't do that to eachother.
~I hope it works out for the best!~

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well this might be long but i need some help..this girl and me hated each other because of a boy,(wont get into it itd be to long haha) but found out he was playing both of us and we became really good friends because we started talking to each other and found out we were a lot alike. over the summer id find myself being ditched a lot. like the last day of school, we were going to hang out but i found out she was hanging out with one of her best friends that hates me for no reason and i have no problem with her, but i forgave her.. and then over and over we would make plans and then she would ditch me again for this girl! it really pissed me off and i confronted her about it and she would make up these excuses that ohh she just came over because they live by each other.
she got a new boyfriend and said she didnt like the guy any more.. and the guy and i ended up hanging out at the same place and ended up doing stuff, a couple days after i found out she still liked him and was only going out with the guy to make him jealous.. so i felt bad and all but i told her and she was glad i told her and didnt act all that mad because i mean she was the one who said she didnt like him any more.. but we were going to hang out the next day and she didnt pick up her phone, and was super pissed but i understood why she would have been mad.. ANYWAYS i wrote her a sorry note and everything we were good and then she does it AGAIN she was just like oh i have a friend over sorry even though we planned the time and everyhting that i would have came over. it was bitch so i didnt talk to her after a while she apologized and said she just wanted to get back at me but she shouldnt have said she was fine when she really wasnt. she promised shed make it up to me somehow and she did because we hung out a lot after that. and everything was fine. her and her friend got in a big fight.. so wed hang out a lot more becuase her other friend wasnt there. then, i would call her because we were going to hang out but she ended up having to take care of her brothers so i was stuck again for the night... and that day i was the only one to call her and she wouldnt call me back and tell me what was going on... so for about a week i didnt talk to her, but then i called her and left a message wanting to talk to her and see wat her deal is.. and she didnt return my call at all... so i called her a couple days later and she picked up and i was straight up asking why she didnt return my calls and wouldnt call me and she was like i didnt get the message or any of your calls and i didnt call you because i thought you were mad at me.. so we talked and she had to go and told me to call her that night so i did and she said her mom was up and shed call me back but she never did and didnt today either! its like after all that youd think she would at least call..i dont know if i should believe her or not and still be her friend, when were together we have so much fun and stuff but its just im always getting ditched and not treated right.. its like shes taking advantage of me. sorry again it was so long but thanks to all if you read it :-(

p.s her and her friend are now cool again, so im thinking i was just used sortof cuz her other friend wasnt there


15/f

ok ....you are right i really do think she was using u because she had nothing better to do....a true friend wouldn't ditch you so much... i had this problem and i had to learn the hard way ...which was we got into a fight and she never talked to me again... i think you guys should still be friends but instead of just asking her to go places ask more friends to go so that way if she doesn't make it you will have ppl to hang out with... and maybe if she does make it she will see how much fun it would be and she might show up more.... i hope my advise works...

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My friend Jennifer and I have been good friends since 7th grade but our freshmen year we became really far apart. I got a boyfriend and she felt rejected. Well I tried to reconnect with her hear the last few months and now she has a boyfriend. I invite her places with me and she always comes up with rediculious excuses to not go. I invited her to a concert with me and she didn't go because her boyfriend came to her house. I never blew her off like this. We have our old conservations on the phone and talk at lest 2 hours every other day. I just dont know what to say or do. I want to go to the old ways.

People grow up and people start to find other friends and more people to hang out with. If you really want to hang out with her more maybe you should talk to her about what she is doing. Maybe tell her that a true friend wouldn't blow you off for a boyfriend. Tell her boyfriends don't last forever but true friendships last forever. Just remember you don't always have to talk to her to be her friend.
If she keeps blowing you off I really do think she doesn't want to be your friend anymore and instead of wasting your time inviting her everywhere, ask other friends if they want to go and soon she will find that she is missing out and want to go more places with you.
I hope this works out for the best!!

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