HCJTeenHelp's advice column | HCJTeenHelp's Advice About Friendship

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Q: Hi,
I'm usually pretty good at giving advice, but this I can't help myself with. I'm 13 and I just got transferred to a new place. I've been here for two months now. As many people here are teens they love to act all grown up and I'm not comfortable with the kind of things they do and the language they use, so I'm not friends with anyone, I tried to adjust and get used to them but without a friend I just can't manage. I'm kind of shy but I can make friends easily, but no one is like me (a little kiddish and crazy) everyone loves to act all grown up. I'm having a tough time making friends, please give me some advice on how I can adjust or I'll end up a lonely girl who talks to herself

I totally understand what you're going through. My suggestion is to put yourself out there. There has to be somebody out there that could be your future bff! Don't try to be friends with somebody that you don't want to hang around. If you don't find anybody at school, you can always get into after school activities! I met a lot of my friends there and they have similar interests to mine! Hey, if you do end up "lonely" you can always talk to me :). Also being a loner is not necessarily a bad thing. Put yourself out there and bring out your inner kid! I certainly do. :)

Q: Me and my fwb have been seeing each other for 5 months now and things are pretty good between us. Lately he's been asking what I feel about us being in a relationship. He's asked a few times and each time I say I want to be but then he won't say what he wants or how he feels. There has also been a few times when he says maybe we'll be serious or be official but he won't say for sure. I'm not sure why he keeps bringing it up if he won't really do anything about it or is he waiting for me to say something? But I've already told him yes more than once so I'm not sure what to do. What do you think?

I feel as if he's stuck on what to do. Maybe he is scared of what everyone's reaction will be. I don't think he is waiting for your response, I think he is waiting for his own. He might be asking over and over because he might feel like he needs your definite reasurrance. It really depends on what type of guy he is. Since I don't really know, here is some questions you should ask yourself.
1. Is he an open book meaning like he likes to show off and be social and show his honest opinions or beliefs? Or he is the shy person that spends most of his spare time at home?
2. Does he always say he loves you and does he do little things to show that he cares for you and your relationship?
3. Are there any little, unoticeable things that could tell you that he is into somebody else or is secretly dating somebody else?

I hope that this helped you and I hope that everything goes well with your relationship!

Q: Well at church I have this friend (friend A) and shes an okay friend but whenever her and my other friend (friend B) get together it's like I'm not there. It could be because I don't talk much but I talk when I'm being talked to. We also don't have much in common. But what really makes me mad is that a couple months ago friend A told me she was mad at friend B because she called friend A fake but the next week they acted as if nothing happened ( and she never even told friend B she was mad). I don't know maybe I shouldn't be bothered by it but I don't know. But all I know is that we used to be best friends going to each others house and stuff but now we barely talk.

I think it's time that you come out of the shell. Try to be more out there and start conversations. Friend a and Friend b don't seem to sound like your friends at all. If they start to ignore you then that means they don't care about you. If that's otherwise then maybe start to become closer. But if you don't have really anything in common maybe it's time to move on and make new friends.