about

hey!
ok, so, my name is vanessa! i' a real fun crazy gal =) I'm 19 years old, and about to start my second year of college! i love to challenge myself, to be with my friends, help them out to the max that i can.. mainly reson why am here.. duh lol i love you help people =) and can simply be a great listener. I've been through a lot in my life already... i guess that can be both good and bad. But that means i have some experience about a little bit of everything!
like I said, am in college, am in love with this amazing guy whom i've been with for over a year and a half, am bi, have been in love, have had my heart broken, have been places, study, work, and well, am crazy =) hahaha! in a good way ;-)
so, anyway, ask away anything thats on your mind =) no matter how crazy or whatnot, i'll ceratintly be here to try my best to help =)

advice

This is very difficult for me, I've struggled with my feelings for nearly three years and it drives me to the point of insanity..(maybe thats a bit strong) I've been a tom boy all my life, never had any problems with that, its the way I am.
I was happily married for 22 years, then, he left me and moved back to his parents. The split was mutual and we are still close friends.
I struggled for some time with my self esteem, and getting into the single life was hard, although now, after three years I'm happier than ever.
4 years ago I met my bestest pal, she's been a true freind and soul mate ever since. We have both been through a relationship breakdown and supported each other through the hard times, hers is more recent and more messy.
I am a very open minded person, and believe in 'You can't help who your heart loves' phylosypy, (cant spell either :) )
about a month ago, my mate hooked me up with a freind of hers from her work. He's a really nice bloke and we got on staight away, but I see only see him as a mate too, sex is good, he's unselfish under the sheets and makes me feel wanted. We only see each other once every three weeks, because of work and his commitment to his daughter, of which i wouldnt have any other way.
At first we text, and chatted on phone, but not so much now.
Trouble is its not him I think of when I wake, or go to sleep, its not him i worry about, or really care for. Its not him I dream of....it my mate.
I so want to tell her how I really feel for her, but I would rather have a freindship for ever, than a lover for a short time.
It so tears me up though. We have girlie nights in, DVD booze, a meal, pictures etc...we sleep in the same bed...but I dont sleep, some nights I lay and just watch her breathing, I know every twitch and sound she makes. I feel safe and secure layed next to her, and so want to brush that bit of hair that tickles her nose when she sleeps.
Maybe I cant have advice on this, and is something I have to figure for myself. I just needed to tell someone, cause keeping it bottled is not good and is quite stressfull.
I'm in my mid forty's, have three grown up girls. and Yes, I do love her, and tell her all the time, but she dosent realise how srtong.

MY question! Do I tell her How I really feel?

This is a bit if a tough situation.
Bi, i do believe that you are, since you have those feelings for your mate. Its definitely more than friendship love. I understand that it also may be confusing, specially after having been married for 22 years... But then again, at either age is rather confusing, nerve racking and complicated. trust me, i know =)
And unlike what the person below me said, its not weird at all, its more common than you think. There's absolutely nothing wrong or "weird" about the way your feeling or acting.
As for telling your friend about your feelings, I think you really have to think it over, long and hard. Try to think how she might react to it all...
I would recommend first starting a conversation and telling her how you think you may be bi... see how she reacts and everything.
You never know, you might find out that maybe she may be thinking the same thing too. I don't thik you should fully go upfront and tell her that you have feelings for her... It might be a little too much of a shock, always kind of is no matter the situation or genders.. haha! =)
So try talking to her, tell her how you think you may be bi, but aren't too sure yet.. and take it from there =)

Best of luck! =)
If you have any questions or anything at all, feel free to contact me =) here to help =)

VB

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if i text my friend that lives in arizona
and i live in illinois
will i get charged for long distance?

haha! texting! i'm all over it! haha
and the answer, is no =)
you will only get charged the normal text fee =)
trust me, i know haha i live in NY and text friends all over the country all the time lol =)

text lover

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Me and this girl used to be BEST friends. Everyone knew we were inseperable. But many things happen that i not going to bore you with and we stoped being friends. Now everytime im around her im just in a bad mood she just annoys me so much and i try not to let her get to me but i cant help it. I cant just ignore her because she is in my group of friends and were always together. What sould i do i cant stand being near her all the time?

omg! it is as if you're reliving my life with that! HAHA!
I was the best of friends with this girl, we were sooooo inseparable! and everyone knew it. we were almost like sisters! but on our last year of school, things happened, and ugh! Yeah, right now i can't stand her guts. I really haven't seen her for like a year. which i guess is good. Distance always helps. it sure helped me... wonds kind of healed.. until i tried to talk to her and patch the friendship.. and then she pretty much demostrated that she was a total bitch to me once again... and as you can tell am pretty mad just thinking about her! haha!
Try to just ignore her. Just simply don't pay attention whenever she's near. Go ahead and have your fun! they're your friends too, so enjoy, have fun. With time maybe that feeling will go away, and you'll be able to talk to her and patch things up...
I've been in both situations... haha! obviously the most recent where i absolutely hate the girl.. and the other where i can happilly tell you that the girl is currently me bestest friend!
There's not much you can do right now to stop or prevent those feelings. All i can tell you is to try to reax, try not to let her get to you that much... Hey, for all you know, she might be feeling the same way haha! Just have fun, wheather she's there, or not. =)

wish you all the luck! =)

VB

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I have known this guy for a couple weeks, and he doesnt trust girls at all. He's gotten hurt in the past, and you can just see the hurt in his eyes. He acts tough just to try to forget about it. What can i do? I care about him.


Thanks

awwww
sounds like one of my bestest friends...
Try to simply talk to him. show him that not all girls are the same. talk to him about everything and anything about life and eachother or really, even the silliest of things or most serious! =) make him feel like he can talk to you about anything... like he has someone with whom he can really feel confortable with.. and take it from there =) just have fun with him.. make him feel welcomed and able to be open =)

hope this was of some help =)

VB

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let me start out by saying im a very good student. i have A's in every subject. well last night i was up till 2 A.M doing my homework, and i forgot to do this one science worksheet. today in class, i asked my friend, lets call her Julie, for her worksheet so i can copy it. she gave it to me with no problem. bad move, i know. well i was doing it and the teacher caught me, she just took the paper and said i will talk to you guys later. so later, she called me and julie down to the classroom and asked what happened. i told my teacher that i was over julie's house for a long time and i didnt have time do to my homework so julie felt bad and gave it to me. julie said that i took the paper without asking her, and that is such a frickin lie! she GAVE me the paper, I swear to God on my life she did. now she told my other friend that she's not gonna talk to me anymore, and my friend told me thats what julie said. me and julie are so close. we've been friends since last year but it feels like weve been friends for a lifetime. wtf should i do? SOO sorry this is long/confusing. thank you so much, you have no idea how much it means to me.

i'm really sorry to say this, but your friends doesn't sound like that great of a friend.... if anything, all she seemed to be trying to do is cover herself, try not to get herself in trouble... and then telling your other friends what you say are lies... and not talking to you anymore?? thats just way to much... does she think you did it to get her in trouble or something??? i say try talking to her... make her talk and listen to you.... try to find out why she is reacting or overreacting i would say, the way she is... and I guess take it from there...

good luck!
VB

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