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Am I Bi???
This is very difficult for me, I've struggled with my feelings for nearly three years and it drives me to the point of insanity..(maybe thats a bit strong) I've been a tom boy all my life, never had any problems with that, its the way I am.
I was happily married for 22 years, then, he left me and moved back to his parents. The split was mutual and we are still close friends.
I struggled for some time with my self esteem, and getting into the single life was hard, although now, after three years I'm happier than ever.
4 years ago I met my bestest pal, she's been a true freind and soul mate ever since. We have both been through a relationship breakdown and supported each other through the hard times, hers is more recent and more messy.
I am a very open minded person, and believe in 'You can't help who your heart loves' phylosypy, (cant spell either :) )
about a month ago, my mate hooked me up with a freind of hers from her work. He's a really nice bloke and we got on staight away, but I see only see him as a mate too, sex is good, he's unselfish under the sheets and makes me feel wanted. We only see each other once every three weeks, because of work and his commitment to his daughter, of which i wouldnt have any other way.
At first we text, and chatted on phone, but not so much now.
Trouble is its not him I think of when I wake, or go to sleep, its not him i worry about, or really care for. Its not him I dream of....it my mate.
I so want to tell her how I really feel for her, but I would rather have a freindship for ever, than a lover for a short time.
It so tears me up though. We have girlie nights in, DVD booze, a meal, pictures etc...we sleep in the same bed...but I dont sleep, some nights I lay and just watch her breathing, I know every twitch and sound she makes. I feel safe and secure layed next to her, and so want to brush that bit of hair that tickles her nose when she sleeps.
Maybe I cant have advice on this, and is something I have to figure for myself. I just needed to tell someone, cause keeping it bottled is not good and is quite stressfull.
I'm in my mid forty's, have three grown up girls. and Yes, I do love her, and tell her all the time, but she dosent realise how srtong.
MY question! Do I tell her How I really feel?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
This is a bit if a tough situation.
Bi, i do believe that you are, since you have those feelings for your mate. Its definitely more than friendship love. I understand that it also may be confusing, specially after having been married for 22 years... But then again, at either age is rather confusing, nerve racking and complicated. trust me, i know =)
And unlike what the person below me said, its not weird at all, its more common than you think. There's absolutely nothing wrong or "weird" about the way your feeling or acting.
As for telling your friend about your feelings, I think you really have to think it over, long and hard. Try to think how she might react to it all...
I would recommend first starting a conversation and telling her how you think you may be bi... see how she reacts and everything.
You never know, you might find out that maybe she may be thinking the same thing too. I don't thik you should fully go upfront and tell her that you have feelings for her... It might be a little too much of a shock, always kind of is no matter the situation or genders.. haha! =)
So try talking to her, tell her how you think you may be bi, but aren't too sure yet.. and take it from there =)
Best of luck! =)
If you have any questions or anything at all, feel free to contact me =) here to help =)
VB
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You're deffinitly bi. sheesh. my moms 40, and she doesn't do weird stuff like that at all. if she ever wanted to go sleepover her friends house, and in the same bed, pshh i'd deffinitly think shes bi. i think you kinda need to grow up a tad too. i mean, my mom goes to the country club with her friends, and my dad goes like golfing with his friends. and they go out to eat and they go to baseball games and stuff. I mean, I don't know. I just think thats weird. That you do that stuff. All of it.. is actually pretty weird. I don't think you should tell her how you feel, it'll mess up the friendship, and she'll most likely think your weird. [espically if you tell her how you lay awake all night looking at her] that'll just freak her out.. and she'll never wanna talk to you again. I think, you should do more things with your girls, I mean do they have kids? You should like babysit them or something. Spend time with daughters, and maybe try to like get away from this lady. like, don't stop becoming friends with her.. just try to figure out why you feel that way about her..
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