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they would call me sarah, but it seems that people are afraid to address me by my name. i am a senior. i dislike a lot of things. i enjoy a nice hot medium mocha latte and smoke too many cigarettes for my own good. i have been in love. i love lights and colors. i am above the influence.advice
Okay, this is really long but I'm in desperate need of help so please take 5 min to help me.
I'm 16/f and I screwed up big time and it took me too long to realize what I've done. Long story short, I've really hurt my family by lying to them, deceiving them, and hiding things from them since 8th grade (and right now is the summer after 10th grade). I realized that I need to get myself together and stop doing whatever I want to do without thinking that there won't be any consequences. I told my mom I was sorry over a million times. I wrote her a front and back 3 page note telling her the things I realized & the way things are going to be and that I'll change not just for the family but for myself as well. But I've done that in the past without really meaning it and my mom completely ignored the note and is still really mad at me. And to make things worse, she and my dad are fighting because of me, well not the root cause but the triggering factor is me.
I don't know what else I can do to make up to her. A sorry and doing household chores isn't working. I am going to cut off all connections from people who haven't been the best influences in my life and people that I snuck out with resulting in me hurting my parents.
Also, my mom strongly believes (which means that no matter what, I won't be able to convince her otherwise) that I am taking ballet and became a vegetarian because of a girl (who she despises) made me do so. As silly as that sounds, this whole big fight is mainly over that one girl. But the problem is that I've wanted to take ballet for 5 years now and the only reason I didn't was because of money problems. And I wanted to be a vegetarian since 8th grade because of the animal cruelty and the fact that I don't and never really liked meat in the first place. And this is all before I met that girl. But I can't convince my mom of that so I was planning to tell her that if it hurts her so much and causes her so much troubles, I'll give up ballet and take ballroom dance with a guy that my mom adores and wishes I'd go out with or take jazz classes instead (I need some kind of dancing for school) & I was going to give up my vegetarianism (as much as the thought of me eating meat makes me nauseous) which means that I'll eat whatever she cooks even if it has meat or animal broth in it but does not mean that I'll be eating meat/chicken/fish chunks out of the dishes (which I'm afraid to add on because she might think that I really don't mean giving up my vegetarianism).
This is how serious I am about wanting to fix all the problems I made. I really am passionate about ballet and vegetarianism. I know that I can't fix it in one day or anything but what else can I do?
I really am sorry, perhaps more sorry than anyone can ever be. I want to change and become a better person and stop causing my family so much problems but it's getting harder and harder. I miss my mom's voice and her laugh and her hugs and I just want things to go back to better times. I don't know what to do.
nothing is too late. you're only a junior in highschool, you've got time, be thankful for that, first of all.
next i'm going to let you know that i can relate to this. this past fall, (the beginning of my 11th grade year) i got in a bad place with some people had no repect for anything but drugs and various other illegal things. this wasn't #me#, but i was having a rough time with everything and needed something. anyway, i ended up getting caught doing a lot of harmful things, not speaking to anyone in my family who i love very much, for months, losing a lot of friends and being constantly supervised until i eventually cracked. they were rough times, i'll tell you.
what helped things get better, really was just talking. telling my mom why i was doing what i was doing. letting her in on what was going on in my head. i was just patiently pleasant to everyone in my family, even though it took every ounce of strength to not just give up and be miserable.
stop saying the words 'i'm sorry' and just start showing it. it WILL take time. when people say that it takes years to build trust and minutes to destroy it, they ain't talking out of their asses. when i was younger,
my mom used to say that i had a "trust bank", and girl, most of the time it had a negative balance.
try to be more involved with the family, show her why you believe in what you believe about meat.
if you think about it, even if she still believes that your friend was the one who influenced you to become a vegetarian, you're the one who is making the final choice to eat like that. and non-meat items really are healthy for you.
tell your mom what you said in your last paragraph of your question in a way that she'll understand.
everything gets better if you are a good person.
trust and respect are two of the most powerful and good things in this world, and if you can get them and give them, you won't be in a bad place.
i really hope that things get better for you.
if you every need to talk about anything or have any more questions, i really have been through a lot.
my e-mail is habieb_m1@yahoo.com.
hey, good luck.
14/f
ok my parents are way too over protective!!
but anyway, they put parental controls on the tv and blocked MTV and VH1, even though im going in to highschool now!!
is this unreasonable? and does anyone else's parents do this??
i really wanna know so i can stop being so mad about it and stop feeling so annoyed about my parents cause its really getting on my last nerve lol.
thanks!!
overprotective?
my parents refuse to even pay for all of the 'garbage' that's on cable tv. when you turn on our tv, there's a blue screen on which to watch movies.
not that i don't know what's on,
but MTV is silly, anyway.
and VH1 can be amusing, but really, it is just a time waster.
if they are resilliant in not letting you view these channels, give it a few weeks, and once you're just used to not watching it, see if you really do miss it that much.
i doubt you will.
(we also have a filter on our computer that not only gives my parents a report on every website visited, but blocks everything from pornography, to online poker, to words typed in search engines that COULD lead to pornographic websites. not to mention all of the health and helpful school sites that it blocks by default. pogo.com was blocked becasue of 'gambling.' i was really furious at first, but you just deal with it.)
consider yourself lucky.
some of my older brothers friends that are at my school are like super made at me because i broke up with one of them and they are telling my brother that i have sex with alot of guys and i have comdoms in my bakpak ...and i do. and my parents found notes that were hella bad and now they are pist at me what should i do.....please help i will rate high
Gosh, times like these just make me want to quit life...
You need to be on your best behavior, there is no other way to earn you're parents trust back. You need to get rid of the condoms, and make sure the notes don't go home with you. Do things around the house without being asked and don't ask you're parents what you can do to earn their trust back because that usually doesn't work and they interpret it as "What's a quick fix to make it better?"
Was there a reason you had condoms in your backpack? You know, people will talk, you might want to be more careful.
Trust and Pleasntries are hard to regain, I know from experiance, but wait a while and it'll pass - eventually.
Sarah
I've decided to make a army tank cake, and we're going to play grenade toss (sort of like hot potato, but with a water balloon), and water grenade war, and they'll have to guess how many POW's are in a jar full of little army men. I'd like to come up with a game for the littler kids that can't participate in the water balloon fight. I was thinking of something along the lines of pin the tail on the donkey with an army twist, any ideas?
Um...pin the hat on GI Joe??
okay. i need to talk to someone and none of my friends can really help. my parents are divorced and i dont see my dad very often. i live with my mother who is an alcoholic and gets pissed off easliy. today my brother and mom got into a huge fight. she is now gone, i mean she just left. i called her and she said that she just needed to be alone. she hasnt returned yet, and i dont know what to do. i am only 14 and my brother 11. she is most likely going to come home incredibly drunk and when she is drunk life just sucks... i dont know what to do anymore because i am just sick of it. this isnt the first time she has just left......
Wow, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. If you're afraid to face her right when she comes home is there someone you can stay with, a friend, grandparent, good neighbor? (Of course you'll have to take your brother with you.) Or if you think you can deal with it just make your meals and try to stay busy. Though you may love your mom would you ever consider calling "Children and Youth" or Social Services?? They can help your mom get into rehab and provide you with what you need until she's capable of controlling yourself.
Good luck with everything
AG
I hate the way my family treat me. They constantly rag on me for no reason. All i do is walk in the room and they will say something about me to hurt my feelings. For instance, my dad yelled at me for eating one time, telling me id get fat. (At the time i was 115 lbs.) I wouldnt even eat for days, and one meal..i would get yelled at. For a while, I used to starve myself because I was sick of getting yelled at and sneaking food at midnight. Now, i eat less and my dad will laugh and joke about how Im anorexic, which isnt true. My younger sister also calls me fat, when im only 125. (Im 16). She even calls me a dyke (not true) because ive never had a boyfriend. She, on the other hand, goes out and sleeps with every guy that says hello to her. My dad knows it, but he still laughs and calls me that too and tells me im never going to get a boyfriend. My dad thinks i should drop out of high school because my grades werent as good as last years. (Im still on honor roll.) I dont make straight A's like my sis, and Im not outgoing as my sis. And because of that, they call me a failure and doubt my intelligence. Im sick of them treating me like im nothing. They say they are "joking" but they know how much it hurts and continue to do it all the time. They enjoy seeing me down and thats why they keep bringing me down. I used to ask them to stop, but they dont listen. Now i just ignore them because i know words cannot kill me. But honestly, they are. I never thought words could be so powerful and have such an influence on me, but the consistancy of it has ruined my self esteem and has caused me to stop talking. Im starting to believe i am nothing, because thats how im always treated. Any advice? Dont tell me to talk to them or anyone. I have tried it so many times in the past, they ARENT going to listen.
I have to ask you talk to them. Communication is a powerfiul and very useful thing. First don't be confrontational, thet'll take it as an attack and immidiately start defending instead of explaining, and ask them why they feel like you aren't worth anything and cut you down all the time. If they still won't listen talk to your pastor at your church or your best friend or her mom.
If you are happy with your weight don't listen to them, just say that if you don't eat you'll get sick and that's worse than having a little fat.
Last, don't ever give up hope! Nothing can last forever!