*tasha*'s

advice

When I was 12 years old, I was raped, and became pregnant. I never told my daughter how she was conceived. She is 13 years old, and I just found out that she's pregnant. Her boyfriend's father kicked him out of his house as a result. Abortion is out of the question. We have to decide whether my daughter and her boyfriend will raise the baby themselves or allow me to adopt the child. So I have three questions.

1. How do I tell my daughter the truth about how she was conceived?

2. Should I allow her boyfriend to move in with us, and if so, is it okay to make them sleep in seperate rooms? (His only other option is to move out of the country with his mother.)

3. Do you think it would be better for my daughter to raise her child or should I adopt the baby? (I was unable to have any other children.)

Sorry so long, but any advice would be appreciated.

Hey!That is a hard decision but I think that you and your daughter should raise the baby TOGETHER w/ the father. Liek you should help ya kno since she's so young. Definetely make them sleep in dif. rooms. But i DEFINETELY think you should have the father move in cuz he helped make the baby and your daughter is so young and he needs to help! GOOD LUCK! tell me how it works out :)

xOXo tasha

[view]

My 12 year old cousin is going through puberty. She has always been a tomboy and she's disgusted with the whole process. To make matters worse she is developing rapidly (she's already a C-cup), and she started her period. She is normally a very happy person, but has become very depressed. She wears layered clothes and big sweatshirts, in the summer, to hide the changes of her body. Is there anything I can say or do to make her transition any easier?

(I've already tried telling her that it's normal and all girls go through it, but that didn't help.)

Tell her that just because she's developign and stuff doesn't mean she has to change herself. Who cares if she has breast and stuff...its cuz shes becoming a woman and tell her she shoudl be proud. My sister is 11 and shes goin through the same exact thing and shes also a tomboy. Tell her that she'll get used to it and it won't be so bad. Also tell her to be proud of what she has,i bet a lot of girls will be jealous of her when she gets older!! Good luck! sry ic ouldn't help more :(. byebye

{any more ?'s just im me or drop one in the inbox}

xOXo tasha

[view]

Okay well Im 16 years old and I dont know who my real father is. I know his name is Jim and he lives in west virginia. I dont like asking my mom because everytime I ask she gets this look on her face and trys to change the subject as if she were mad or something. I dont want to make her upset or mad but it feels like theres a wholllle other life that i dont know of! I mean its not one of those things where "she doesnt know who my dad is" she knows but wont talk about him. But there are days where I am completey upset cuz I just start thinking of him even though I dont know who he is."does he even know about me? does he not love me? was i not what he planned on having?" so many questions! Now the TRUE question is when im 18 should I ask my mom then go and try to find him or do you think it happend for a reason?!?! should I just let it go and live with all the pain? im so lost and heart broken. i mean i survived 16 years without a true dad but it hurt so bad excpecially because i never talked about him. What do you think I should do?

I definetely think you should sit your mom down and just tell her "Mom I've lived 16 years of pain w/out a real father and I need to know about him. Now please...talk to me" Just tell her what you told us...Also yea,I think it would be good to arrange a meeting between you and ur dad. That would be a nice little reunion! Good Luck!Tell me what happens k?

xOxO-tasha

[view]

my moms boyfriend molested me.. and im really scarred for life!! i told my mom about it.. but she thinks its fine and that it happens to alot of girls.. she doesnt understand how freaked out i was and AM! i think we should go to therapy but i dont no how that would help.. what should i do?

I think you should tell another adult. Like a trusted teacher or somethin.ITS NOT OKAY!It does happen to a lot of girls but it should becuz its wrogn!good luck!

:.tasha.:

[view]

In December my dad lost his job. But about a month later became self employed. By then my mom had been suspecting that hes cheating on her... now my mom has confroted him about it((about 3 months ago)) and he has admitted to having a "friendship" whith the lady.He tells my mom that hes nothin with her JUST friends. So my mom asked him to please tell her to stop callin and to just loose all contact.Thing is my mom tells me everything and my dad has always been a role model to me... well mom and i went to his work when he wasnt there and set up a caller id well we found out that shes still callin at like 1am and 2am when hes sopposly painting a car. Sometimes dad doesnt come home till 3 or so. I see how this effects my mom who literally does EVERYTHING in the house and it makes me ANGRY! She crys constantly only shes like me and shell hide before she crys. Well ive been catching her and it hurts me soo much soo then i get really mad at my dad and sometimes all i want to do is Scream in his face and kick him out of the house! I want to tell him to please leave the lady hes having an affair with but i dont know how i dont want him gettin mad at me. Thats when my whole "indenil" stage pops up! i start to think that hes not and when she brings it up i get fusturated and ignore her or justr say some rude comment. Which makes her cry more! I just wanna know what to do without making my dad mad and my mom cry... should i write him a letter telling him how i feel???? ALSO my mom says she doesnt want me talkin to him about it but its effect my relationship with him... WHAT THE HECK DO I DO?
Ps. i have a boifriend and hes really supportive about this he gives me a shoulder to cry on and a ear to listen to me with but i feel like i cant be happy with my mom goin through her problems cause i feel like im rubbing it in her face HELP ME.....

Backed up in a corner

Talk to your dad...or even that option up there. Write him a letter.Its so sad that your moms crying and by this time I would have definetely talked to my dad. Tell him that if he really loves your mom then he needs to stop talking to that lady and stop hiding things,because thats not what mirriage is about.Its about honesty,love,and loyalty. Tell him that.GOOD LUCK! i'll pray for your family.(not to sound preachy but im christian :) ANd I hope everything works out.Email me w/ the outcome k?i'd love to heard how everything turns out.

:.tasha.:

[view]

my family hates me but my friesn family treats me liek im their daughter they feed em take me places im over there everyday i spend teh nite there even when my friesn not home and everything what shood i do tho cuz its so depressign saying that ur freids parents are basically ur parestn and its sad to think that my parents cant ever be liek them i eman her dad even gives me adive adn tells me to watch out on waht boys i date and everyting im confused

I know a lot of people that have that problem too.I think you should talk to your parents about how you don't even feel like they are your parents..tell them how you have more emotions for your friends parents then your real ones..and thats not right..I hope everything works out...I'd love to hear about how everything turns out too...GOOD LUCK!!

*much love*
*~tasha~* (if you'd rate me that'd be great!)

[view]

i dont live with my dad.my dad is mad at me.I dont want anything to do with him anymore. his friend tim from highschool is his best friend. and he is afraid to stick up 4 me. heres the story.... tims daughter (chelsey) and i have known eachother for 12 years.. just recently, we got in a BAD HUGE FIGHT. bad language was involved. and i got blamed for everything that we both said. and i told my dad its not fair that i have to get punished 4 somehting we both did. so he said he was gonna do something to me. so i refused to go with him. and my mom is stickin up 4 me.she is the only one i have. and like 3 days ago i got a call from my dad. he was tellin me i got grounded and i didnt. he told me to stay off the internet. he also asked y i said i hated chelsey and didnt want to be her friend any more. and i said i hate chelsey cuz the things she does to me. and i also told him i didnt want anything to do with him and he got mad at me and called me names. he also said im never welcome in his house anymore. he told me he would get me someday and hurt my mom.. what should i do? i have no clue. i dont want anyhting to do with my dad he gets into trouble with the law and i dont want anything to do with that or him. i think he hates me and i dont trust him anymore.. what should i do? this girl chelsey has also been tryin to be my friend but i dont want to be friends with her. she is also telling everyone she hates me and all her other friends filled my hole. now i hate her. im so confused and my dad makes my life miserable!!! help me please!
~Confused~
13,female

Gosh..thats sad.Your dad seems like a jerk..no offense.Forget him..he said he's gonna get you somedaya and hurt your mom? thats like a threat.you could tell the police cuz thats seriuos stuff!I hope everything works out ok..GOOD LUCK!!

*much love*
*~tasha~* {plz rate}

P.S...w/ chelseay..forget her..you don't need a friend like that.Tell her "you stay away from me and i'll stay away from you" i think she'll respect that...GOOD LUCK!

[view]

my little sister i always a pain. everday i would say hi to her and she would just give me a nasty look and go to her room. i am nice to her most of the time. we get a long once in a while, but rarely...ahh what do i do to win her over?

Tell her how ya feel...I have two little sisters...ones 11 and ones 8.The 11 year old was always like that...Then I told her how I don't wanna just be sisters with her..I wanna be friends too..I wanted to be able to talk to my sister and her probs and some of mine too.We've gotten along really well ever since!!I hope I helped..GOOD LUCK WITH THE SISTA!


*much love*
*~tasha~*

*please rate me..Thanks!!*

[view]

ok well i'm jst really mad about my whole "big family" thing i got goin on here i have 2 younger sisters Kirby(11) Kiersten(9) nd a older sister Christina(22) shes actually a half sister but jst the same i grew up w. her nd nw my momss pregnant .. ok so basically im the oldest and ALWAYS have all this "responsibility" nd i hate it i dnt wanna b here to babysit i wanna go out .. plus my family owns ANOTHER PIZZA RESTAURANT weve owned soo many nd i thought that my dad would stop changin careers nd stay an electrition but no so now i have stress to work there nd my moms pregnant so i feel evn more responsibilty i feel lyk the mom alot .. nd my sister kirby i cnt stand she always tries to put me down i guess but she has no confidence .. nd sometimes i jst wish i was nevr born lyk i dunno what to do w. my feelings i tlked to my bf about it but she dsnt have a big italian family lyk me my family goes on nd im always gettin lectured about suttin .. nd i dunno how to deal w. my feelings
please help .. xO0

Hey!I have 2 sisters and a cuzin that i see everyday so its like kinda big too...I have to watch them monday through friday..sometimes on satrudays from 6am-5pm..I sooo know what you mean about going out and stuff...I am the oldest too and ikno how theres soo much responsibility...My two younger sisters are 11 and 9 also..my cuzins 11 too.11 is pretty old...well kinda and I have asked my parents and they said it was ok if sometimes the 11 year olds *briana and brandon* could stay home alone w. the younger one..Its ok but i had to check in on them a lot...but i still got to go out...I hope I helped and good luck w/ the siblings!!

*much love*
*~tasha~*

*if u have any other probs feel free to talk to me...Please rate me good!THANKS!!*

[view]

well... ever since i was lets say... about 7 i wanted a lil sis. but now that my aunt is trying to give us coustudy of my 6 or 7 yr old cousin b/c she is being trialed and can possibly convicted of child abuse. she knows our house hold is better than hers but i don't want a lil bratty girl getting into my buisness. i wouldn't mind if she was like 2 or 3 but then she will get into my buisness. what do i do? She will have to know everything that is going on and i will have to spend the rest of my spare time playing with her! i already hate my older bro! HELP!!

I know what you mean...but your probaly gonna have to be nice to the kids becuz if they are going to live w/ you becuz of child abuse then they will probaly need someone thats pretty loving and nice..just be nice and tell them how its gonna be..your business is your business and then need to stay out..I think they'll understand and if they don't they will when they get a little older and they'll realize what brats they were when tehy were younger..Hope i helped!! GOOD LUCK!!

*much love*
*~tasha~*

[view]

I'm 15 years old & I have an over protective mom. She makes sure my shirt doesn't show my chest at all and my pants do not show any of my underwear. She barely even lets me out with my friends! I mean, its summer and I wanna stay out late with my friends alot. Its not like I have to study or get up early for school! I just want to have a little more freedom since I'm getting older and have always been responsible and never got into too much trouble. What should I do?

Tell your mom how you feel..Tell her you feel like ur on a leash or somethin like that..Be like..."mom i am 15 and I would really like a later curfew and maybe you can let me wear what I wanna wear" and tell her how you have been being good (lol if u have) and talk about all the nice things you do!I HOPE I HELPED!GOOD LUCK!!

*much love*
*~tasha~*

[view]

OK. So I had a dentist appointment this morning and my mom, dad, and brother were all working. So, my dad called my neighbor 'Don' to ask if he could take me to the dentist. He said it was fine and he was happy to do the favor. I could have rode my brothers bike there if I absolutely HAD to...but I wasn't thrilled when my mom suggested the idea. My mom just called and said she was embaressed when she found out that 'Don' had driven me there and back. I don't like it when people are mad at me and now I feel guilty and my happy mood just went to bad. Am I being selfish or is my mom over reacting?

I think your mom is over reacting..she'll get over it..moms do that a lot..GOOD LUCK!

*much love*
*~tasha~*

[view]